Robert Maxwell
This story was told to me first hand by one of his aides just after the 'great' man died.
As Maxwell is walking the corridors of the Mirror building he sees a man stood next to a photociopier smoking a cigarette.
"You can't smoke here" shouts Cap'n Bob.
"F@ck off" says the other chap.
"How much do you earn a week?" enquires Mr. Maxwell.
"250 quid" he replies. Maxwell peels off a wad of notes and says "Here's a week's wages, get out now and don't come back".

A few minutes later another worker wanders past and asks if anyone has seen the repair guy from the photocopier company.
(Barnetboy, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 15:58, 46 replies)

Fucking Maxwell still owes me my stolen superannuation money...
I used to work for one of Robert Maxwell's companies back in the 1980's. I heard this story too, although I heard the same story in Australia years later about Rupert Murdoch. A mate in Boston heard it told about Donald Trump. Maybe all the stories are true? Or, as is more likely, not.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 16:06, closed)

It has all the hallmarks
of being utterly made up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 16:36, closed)

Possibly, but...
The guy who told me the story was a long suffering Maxwell aide and the provenance was fairly cast iron.

A similar story involves the late Brian Clough when he was the manager of Nottingham Forest Football Club. Needing a cup of tea he rings the room where the apprentices clean the boots of the senior players. A young lad answers the 'phone and Clough orders him to make him a cup of tea.
"F#ck off" says the youth.
"Do you know who I am young man?" asks Clough.
"Yes. Do you know who I am?" replies the lad
"No" replies Clough.
"Good" says the lad "F#ck off then"
(Barnetboy, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 16:37, closed)

Bollocks.
The guy who told you this story told you that he'd heard it from a long-suffering Maxwell aide and assured you that the provenance was cast iron. That's how urban legends work. You daft twat.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 19:11, closed)

You can ignore Shambles.
He's always going on like this.
He never believes any of my true stories from my friends, the long suffering Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walking into a bar.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 19:15, closed)

I didn't think the Irish fella was still around? Has he recovered from that parrot shooting incident?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 10 Jul 2011, 19:37, closed)

The parrot shooting went fine.
It was the budgie jumping that got him.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 22:27, closed)

What happened to all those stories about your pakistani and west indian friends?
Did you fall out with them in the early '80s?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:42, closed)

How does one pronounce "f#ck"?

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 0:38, closed)

"Fhashk".

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 2:01, closed)

Are you some sort of Muslamic?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:52, closed)

Stealing this.

( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 11 Jul 2011, 15:03, closed)

I was working in the publishing room at withy grove on the Sunday Mirror
when he came in with his accountants. Every bench was 4 men light - he was basically paying for 4 men to be drinking in the various "press clubs".

He sent everyone home after the scottish edition, and closed with grove for 6 weeks. When it opened it was completely automated with Ferag machines and we never worked there again.

I blame Eddie Shah though :-)
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 20:40, closed)

so many examples of this story, it has been around for ages
and is a classic urban legend... you can even find it on snopes
(essexfriend, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 16:59, closed)

^^^
This.

When I first heard it, the happy non-Maxwell employee was a bicycle courier delivering an important letter.

Sunday afternoon grump over...
( NotDavidBailey isn't all that sure that he is?, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 17:07, closed)

When I first heard it it was a BT employee who got 'fired' for not wearing a tie.
(Sallow Stoat had a fall on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 0:38, closed)

This story is about a hundred years older than Robert Maxwell.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 18:04, closed)

Except of course they didn't have photocopiers back then.
It was probably the chimney sweep repair man.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 18:55, closed)

nah, it was a fax machine

(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 22:30, closed)

I heard it was a dwarf in a box with a torch and a typewriter

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 10 Jul 2011, 23:37, closed)

I heard it was Professor Plum in the library with a candlestick.

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 0:39, closed)

I think
I remember reading a story like this on The Rosetta Stone when they translated it.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:11, closed)

How does one pronounce "f@ck"?

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 0:38, closed)

Don't you know, you tw*t?

(McChinaman banned, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 1:20, closed)

No, I don't, you c%nt.

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 3:47, closed)

Cpercentnt?

(sabre-tooth monkey, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:14, closed)

Twasteriskt?

(sabre-tooth monkey, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:14, closed)

Like "fuck", but more southern.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 1:58, closed)

Focken shrimps!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:03, closed)

fatck!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 3:10, closed)

Oooooh, I read that story in a good few variations a month or so ago.
It's old as the hills, I'm afraid.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 11:00, closed)

Suitably chastened...
So next time I meet Mr. Maxwell's press secretary or Mr. Clough's assistant manager of the time I shall inform them that what they witnessed was inaccurate.
(Barnetboy, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:25, closed)

Peter Taylor died twenty years ago.
You total fucking idiot.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:32, closed)

you always leave a nasty after-taste

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 16:26, closed)

That's because I'm soaked in pure fucking idiot juice.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 16:38, closed)

In his long career...
Mr. Clough had more than one assistant, although I thank you for your input.
(Barnetboy, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 10:21, closed)

Are you seriously claiming that is where you heard these stories?
Really?

You don't want to reconsider?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:09, closed)

There's no going back now.
He's in a hole. A hole with a big sign pointing at it that reads "look at this fucking prick in a hole".
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:05, closed)

.
a)Yes
b)Yes
c)No
(Barnetboy, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 10:23, closed)

Having looked at some of your other stories
I accept that it is possible that this is where you did hear the stories from.

I question your suitability to work even in regional news if you are so blindly accepting of the truth of them though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 10:49, closed)

Over the years
I witnessed Cloughie say and do some incredible things, when drunk and sober. Strangely likeable chap even though I hated his club.
(Barnetboy, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:06, closed)

Was that because
he kept hitting you with it?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 12:04, closed)

Even worse is the fact...
...that you infer Mr. Maxwell's press secretary or Mr. Clough's assistant manager were absolutely incapable of bullshitting.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 3:55, closed)

So..
This line of arguement would put in to question the veracity of any post on this or any other QOTW thread........ probably not too far off the mark.
(Barnetboy, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 10:25, closed)

What are you talking about?
Mr Maxwell's press secretary could never have had any reason to be anything other than totally honest at all times, could he? He would never have had anything to hide.

And people in football have never been known to make up, exagerate or steal stories when giving interviews or pepping up their otherwise tedious after dinner speeches.

How dare you imply otherwise, how dare you indeed.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 10:46, closed)

I love
my username
(snopesthetruth, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:49, closed)