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This is a question Fears and Phobias

I'll level with you. I'm really freaked out by loose buttons. I'm fine while they're doing their job, but once they're free the evil bastards are a major threat to my life. Tell us what spooks you, and how you cope. Also: church bells, doner kebab salads, death.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 17:18)
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men with weak and clammy handshakes

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 17:57, 22 replies)
Ginger people eh?
Did the wristbanding job at Reading festival one year; I found that the wrists and hands of large ginger people are unacceptably clammy.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 18:03, closed)
that's their innate wickedness escaping through the pores

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 18:05, closed)
Scottish heroin addicts requiring a fix.

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 18:10, closed)
I bought Captains of Crush grip strengtheners to improve my ability to be AWESOME
when shaking a persons hand. Nothing better than a person wincing in pain during the handshake, you really get your AUTHORITY across.
(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 18:09, closed)
I, too, am guilty of this
You've just motivated me to get my CoC out and give it a good squeeze.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:54, closed)
Is this the special secret handshake code for
"I'm a d-bag who you'll avoid meeting ever again."
?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:02, closed)
I couldn't possibly comment.
Whoever said anything about there being a secret code? *cough*
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:17, closed)
there was a bloke with CP doing his shopping the other day
and he called me over and I assumed he wanted me to reach something off a top shelf but in fact he just wanted to do a gangsta style handshake

Made my day. Spastic fistbumps for the win.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:45, closed)
vicars?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 19:16, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/fearsandphobias/post2368101
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 23:13, closed)
Don't limit this to the red demons
Anyone with a limp, clammy handshake needs to be fucking shot.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 22:59, closed)
no diggedy

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 23:05, closed)

See also - women who try to shake hands with the tips of their fingers.
(BinDipper, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:57, closed)
they just don't want to touch you because you're repulsive

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:05, closed)
Is it still acceptable to grasp their fingers and kiss the back of their hand?
Strikes me as a little too forward, but shaking hands with a woman always feels wrong, somehow.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:11, closed)
Only if you smirk suggestively, twirl your moustache, raise one eyebrow and say "enchanté "
That's what I do anyway
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:21, closed)
I like to turn their hand over and spit in their palm

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:21, closed)
I once crushed a woman's hand because the man who shook hands with me immediately prior to that was one of these alpha types who feel the need to assert their dominance with a power handshake and I wasn't about to be caught out twice

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:29, closed)
you fucking doofus

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:09, closed)
You should have headbutted the alpha cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:12, closed)

My first boss taught me that the firmest of handshakes was an obligatory start to a meeting. It sets the right tone apparently.

He failed to mention that this isn't recommended for dainty 5'2 women who will actually cry out in pain when you crush their fingers.
(BinDipper, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:50, closed)
your boss was an insecure dickweed
he probably studied geography
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:22, closed)

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