If i was in charge i would
Ban the following vehicles from the roads during rush hour
Learner drivers
Cyclists
Buses
Lorries
Milk floats
Any vehicle whose driver is over 60

I would also ban lorry drivers from leaving the slow lane of the motorway for anything other than to avoid a collision or similar emergency.

I would instigate a driving test for cyclists who would not be allowed on the road without having passed it. Cyclists would also have to have tax and at least third party insurance and would be burnt alive if caught running red lights/riding on the pavement.

Politicians would have to prove that they had no other business interests and if caught in any criminal act would be barred for life from public office. Furthermore if a politician broke an election pledge this should spark an immediate reelection.

All soap operas talk shows and reality tv shows would be taken off tv immediately and the air time used for nature documentaries and other items that don't pander to the lowest common denominator in society. People complaining about this would be advised to visit a library and improve their minds till they are capable of watching something designed not to turn their brain into cream cheese.

There would be no entry into the country unless you can prove that you have money in the bank and a job/house to go to.

I would raise the minimum wage so it is no longer an excuse for people to say that they are better off on benefits. Benefit payments instead of cash would be exchanged for food/clothing/energy/travel vouchers to further encourage those on benefits to get a job.

I would hunt and kill the man/woman responsible for the We buy any car/Go Compare adverts.
Lastly i would smash the evil mirror that Jeremy Kyle uses to regularly slither into our universe.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:49, 23 replies)

Don't forget...
Politicians would no longer be allowed any expenses, other than perhaps travelling costs.

I quite like the idea of the vouchers instead of benefits. Would mean they couldn't spend it all on Sky or Mobile Phones.
(anonymousreality tickled your fancy on, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:59, closed)

The idea
Of the benefits system is to ensure that people who have no means of employment have a minimum standard of living and don't end up starving to death on the streets. This would be just as easily achieved with vouchers rather than cash
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 17:11, closed)

Ahh the knee jerk cyclist hater
Ever broken the speed limit?

Yes, then you sir a bloody big fuck off hypocrite.

The only problem with cyclists is that there's nothing like enough of them on the road to promote decent cycling. In fact, regarding red-light jumping twunts, If more people respected cycling and didn't just treat it as a stop gap between buying a four wheeled shitbox, then perhaps more people would also bother to learn to do it properly.
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 17:40, closed)

Straightforward ignorance
Let's deal with the "road tax for cyclists" bollocks as well shall we

ipayroadtax.com

There, done.
(flimflam_machine, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 19:53, closed)

Didnt say that
Cyclists should pay road tax. No such thing as road tax. They should be taxed to be on the roads.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:34, closed)

You've already read my reply to legless but anyway...
Why?

No damage to the road, no pollution, minimal space requirements, minimal danger to other road users, good for the cyclist and for society in general.

What's to tax?
(flimflam_machine, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:44, closed)

>What's to tax?

Your croissant and wine, obviously...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:53, closed)

Fascist!
Abolish all taxes on smug foodstuffs!

Those who are self-evidently correct shouldn't have to fund everyone else!
(flimflam_machine, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:58, closed)

I often think
that 'road tax' makes a good pub quiz question;

eg: 'How much money (on average) does the UK government collect in 'road tax' each year.

Answer: None. Road Tax was abolished in 1937. You pay Vehicle Excise Duty you ignorant cunt.
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 14:00, closed)

You can't deny though that if you're going to be on the road then you should at least have some form of insurance.

Having to have a license before you can go on the road would also help promote decent cycling.

People automatically assuming that cyclists can do no wrong are also hypocrites themselves, drivers and cyclists can be as equally bad as each other, but there are also many examples of both that are at the opposite end of the scale.
(anonymousreality tickled your fancy on, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 23:21, closed)

Of course some cyclists can do wrong
But as you point out having a license doesn't exactly stop some drivers from doing wrong. I've made my own post on that particular topic.

The difference is cyclists aren't travelling in a metal box weighing upwards of a tonne. If they are involved in a collision - no matter whose fault it is - it will be them that won't get up again.

I don't think cycling should be licensed, but I do think road sense should be a mandatory part of the education system including tests on handling a bicycle safely. I do think cyclists should have insurance, and I as a cyclist do (as do most people I know who cycle regularly and this is through membership to organisations such as CTC).

I'm not a cyclist apologist - I'd like to see the end of red light jumping for example and think penalties for doing dangerous things like this should be much much stricter - but equally I do get fed up with the uninformed minority of people who see everything a cyclist does as "illegal." I've been told by people its illegal to ride on the road, its illegal not to ride at the speed limit, and its illegal not to ride so far to the left my rims scrape the side of the kerb. All bollocks of course.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 7:17, closed)

"If they are involved in a collision - no matter whose fault it is - it will be them that won't get up again."
That is unless it's a pedestrian they hit and kill/maim, whilst jumping said lights or riding on the pavement.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 8:25, closed)

True.
I'll let you have that exception!
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:36, closed)

Although
Deaths to other road users due to cyclists run at about 1-2 every year. So the risk to others is tiny (not sure about statistics for injury).

This isn't to say that rule-breaking and inconsiderate cyclists shouldn't be punished, of course they should. But let's not mix up our feeling of frustration and annoyance with an actual accurate perception of risk.
(flimflam_machine, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:47, closed)

statistics don't tell the whole story
How about all the accidents indirectly caused by cyclists acting like the road is there own personal cycle path
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:25, closed)

You mean...
...motorists swerving to avoid a cyclist and hitting somebody else? It's possible, but I've never heard of it actually happening. Like having a cuntish cyclist cut through pedestrians on a crossing, I suspect that the perceived risk is much higher than the actual risk.
(flimflam_machine, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:08, closed)

As opposed...
... to the motorists who run pedestrians and cyclists down because they were treating the road as their own personal motorway?

Oh wait, I forgot... Drivers never act like they own the road, only cyclists do that!
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:09, closed)

I don't need to write a retort when this does it for me
ipayroadtax.com/licensed-to-cycle/licensed-to-cycle/
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 14:07, closed)

I'm not a knee jerk cyclist hater
Just sick of being cut up by cyclists who treat the road as their own personal cycle path or who have no idea how to ride responsibly, being stuck behind groups of cyclists riding next to each other having a chat and this morning seeing a pedestrian have to leap back onto the curb at a pelican crossing that i was stopped at by some impatient bastard on a push iron who decided to go past me on the passenger side.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:48, closed)

There would be no entry into the country unless you can prove that you have money in the bank and a job/house to go to.
That is pretty much how it is now.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 17:46, closed)

Fairly sure the person responsible for the go compare tune is a b3tan.....
b3ta.com/questions/adverts/post700337
( NooShmoo It's a fantazmagorical pile of ultra bollocks, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 18:31, closed)

Those bloddy immigrants point makes me have a sad face
I personally would ban cars during the rush hour unless you could prove that you needed it

"Lastly i would smash the evil mirror that Jeremy Kyle uses to regularly slither into our universe."

almost saved you
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 22:29, closed)

I have no problem with Immigrants
None whatsoever.
Immigration has made this country the multicultural melting pot that it is today and i think that the country is better for it. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for immigration along with quite a few residents of this fair isle. I just don't think that its too much to expect people who want to live here to want to work and contribute to their new country and to secure themselves somewhere to live. Conversely I would also expect that people who are born here should contribute to the society that we live in. I am aware that we live in an imperfect world. This question is setting the world to rights is it not?
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:36, closed)