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This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
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Solitary confinement
in prison to be the norm, not a punishment. This would stop prisons becoming "universities of crime", and would stop bullying and brutalising of weaker and meek prisoners by stronger ones, as well as the culture of drugs and theft. It would virtually eliminate the risk of riots. There does not need to be complete isolation, just no contact with fellow prisoners - inmates would still have contact with warders, probation officers, chaplains etc. Work and exercise would still be possible, but in isolation. Punishments/incentives for bad/good behaviour would consist of adjustment to the nature of work undertaken and the degree of comfort and possessions permitted in cells. It would be a lot easier to prevent contraband such as drugs and mobile phones from circulation. Also, increased CCTV to prevent corrupt staff from passing contraband.
(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:38, 6 replies)
Sounds all nice
but it would make for really shitty prison movies.
(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:47, closed)
"Andy spent his day masturbating,
just as he had yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, for as long as he could remember. Eventually, he'd rubbed his cock raw, so he took the spoon from his evening meal, and tunnelled through the wall, into a sewage pipe; he then crawled through the pipe, to freedom."

In your face, Stephen King!
(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:55, closed)
I stand corrected
Hats off to you Sir!

Edit: Also, I'd gladly pay to hear Morgan Freeman read that line.
(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:07, closed)
Hahahahahahahahahaha

(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:16, closed)
Hahaha!

(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 21:38, closed)
nah do the opposite
make all prisons completely communal with no cells just nice dorms and give all inmates flame throwers, machetes and samurai swords. Add in a liberal dose of compulsory angel dust upon arrival and top up with more prisoners as and when needed
(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:18, closed)

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