Anyone urinating
into a toilet bowl when other people at the residence are asleep should be made to aim for the sides to keep the noise down.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 22:47, 10 replies)

Likewise
save flushing until the morning.
unless of course its a number 2, then you're left with the flush/log dillema
( Jsysco is mostly a lurker, mostly, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 23:01, closed)

Apparently (according to QI anyhow) the Germans go one better.
Men are expected to piss sitting down. I'm sure there's some scope there to discuss the Emasculation of the German male following the bothersome goings on of the early 1940's but I'll not go there.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 23:07, closed)

Maybe their toilets are better designed than ours
There was a program on Channel 4 years back where Richard Seymour and Dick Powell tried to redesign the toilet for some lamewad company who didn't listen.

They made the point that the modern British toilet isn't really designed for men. If you piss in it standing up, you don't want to hit the water 'cos that creates noise, so you aim for the sides and risk spraying other parts of the room. You sit on it to take a crap and you either sit forward with your bits rather close to the porcelain, or you sit further back and risk skidding the back of the bowl.

I seem to recall that they came up with a design that raised the back of the bowl so that it could be used more like a urinal, and created some space at the front of the bowl as well. They also proposed putting an anti-bacterial coating on it so that it didn't need cleaning so often. Didn't really matter since the company they were doing it for were only interested in pretty rather than actually improving upon existing design.
(An eejit passing by in a purple satin skirt with sparkly bits, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 0:06, closed)

I heard Richard Seymour do a talk on this at the AD&D years back
I still want one of those toilets
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 9:40, closed)

That tends to be the problem with most things.
Virtually everything nowadays is form over function, making life just that little bit more irritating at every turn.
I don't think the toilets in Germany are any different from ours -- they weren't in the hotel I stayed in in Munich anyhow. I think you have to go to Japan to find anti-bacterial coated super toilets.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 11:02, closed)

but then i'd have to turn the bathroom light on, and it'll strain my eyes.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 23:31, closed)

There's a trick to that - only open one eye, and keep the other closed
Then when you switch off the light, open the closed eye, and you'll have kept your night-vision. Works every time
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 23:39, closed)

isn't that why the pirates of old used to wear eye-patches?
(MrHammerHands last checked the time on, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 1:55, closed)

So that they could go for a piss at night without making a noise?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 11:40, closed)

AAAAARRRRRRR! That's betterrr...

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 14:55, closed)