Congestion charging? Traffic nightmares? Pah!
All city centres to be converted to large-scale dodgem rinks. Park your car at the edge of the city (London already has a ready-made car park; it's called the M25), purchase a ticket and jump into the next available dodgem.

All the stresses and strains of the day/journey thus far/shit night you had with your partner/whatever evaporate as you gleefully dodgem-raid your way to work/back to your car.

Days off work due to stress will be drastically cut; congestion will ease; the homeless can be employed to jump on the back of the cars that get stuck and spin the steering wheel to get you going again... and any cities with pigeon problems will find that the electrified netting over all the streets cuts the pigeon population down quickly too!

Honestly I can't see a downside...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:20, 13 replies)

[something about the irony of you suggesting a solution that involves crashing cars]

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:24, closed)

Ooh, do you know I hadn't thought of that O_o
Jess would still be here if her and the other driver had both been in dodgems. She might have had a sore neck for a few days though...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 15:22, closed)

I feel a need to respond further...
...but I don't know what else to say.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 15:23, closed)

that's ok. i was just being a cunt.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:25, closed)

You are a cyclist
AICMFP.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:33, closed)

I most certainly am not!
*indignants*

My favourite memory of working in London was seeing 2 cyclists collide - one had jumped a red light, the other was cycling across a pedestrian crossing. Luckily, although they were both travelling quite fast it wasn't a hard enough impact to cause them to be melded together into one uber-cyclist.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 15:25, closed)

brilliant
I wish you could create a film of this memory and post it here.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 12:06, closed)

Brilliant!
Such an elegant solution, and the though of hopping in a dodgem to get to work makes me feel all sexy.
(Discocat is bringing sexy back, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 14:20, closed)

You'll need a carnie at every roundabout and junction to pull people off the curbs.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 14:36, closed)

That's what the homeless people are for...

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 15:26, closed)

I've never been pulled off by a homeless person.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:03, closed)

I like this

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 27 Sep 2011, 15:09, closed)

Can I stand on the bumper at the back, hopping from car to car holding onto the pole, never looking at the people who’s car I’m using, just looking off into the middle distance?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:31, closed)