On a wall in Hulme
Tracey Openshaw
Lying whore

Offensive yet strangely poetic
(finbarr, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:41, Reply)

Would Jesus mine uranium?
I found it hilarious for some reason.

The worst I ever saw was a prime example of teenagers attempting to protest but being too stupid to actually find anything to protest:
"Fuck the patriarchy"
( Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:39, Reply)

In Chapel Market, Islington
scrawled in marker, metre-high letters proclaiming "NOSE HELL". Nothing more than that - I'm mystified.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:39, Reply)

In my old school, written on one of the playground walls:
"If you read this, then you're gay."
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:34, Reply)

on a rubbish bin in Hull
c LITTER us
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:33, Reply)

.

(PsychoticSock, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:32, Reply)

"God is dead" - Nietzsche





"Nietzsche is dead" - God
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:30, Reply)

"Ha ha its your mong"
Seen on a wall with a large cock drawn in marker pen.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:29, Reply)

couple from oxford
there's a toilet in the JR hospital. I used to use it whenever I went to pick up a mate who worked there. It had a sign that was repeatedly altered (different pens after each cleaning etc, so you know someone really felt the need).
The weird thing was, the alterations were purely punctuation and made no sense. The altered version read:

Please "do not" put paper towels down the toilet.


Also in oxford are some other classics (only read half the pages so far, so I'll doubtless be glasscocking. Sorry.)

"However beautiful she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit." - Cellar bar toilets

"if you don't like hockey ya'll can eat a bowl of fuck" - with the addition in a second pen of "I think you'll find you mean y'all - it's an abbreviation of you all, do you see?" if the (oft graffiti'd and oft repainted) Turf Tavern bogs.

Plus all those bloody 12 monkeys signs.

Edit:
There's also a sandwich shop called "heroes" that is permanently changed to "herpes". I like that whoever does this manages to do it to all the signs on the shop (sides of awning etc) as well as to the board they put on the pavement.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:29, Reply)

Saw this a while back
Mis-spellers of the world untie!
(tgt At the very forefront of cocking about with cars, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:28, Reply)

On the boards surrounding a bulidng site
near Sheffield town centre:

(In big fuck off letters)

NOT ACSEPTING NUDERTY CREATS LUST AND RAPE!!!!

Whilst I'm here allow me to pimp www.teamwiggly.com
( NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 4 May 2007, 9:26, Reply)

In a pub in Brixton (London) called "The Prince Albert"
there were three classic bits of graffiti.

First one was in the cubicle, it read "Praise Bush and his 4th Riche"

Second bit was on a sticker on the broken condom machine. The sticker read something along the lines of "war, racism, poverty. What's the solution? REVOLUTION!"

Someone had crossed out the REVOLUTION bit and wrote "join 10 spotty teenagers on a street corner selling crap newspapers!"

There was also some on a wall in the bar area that read "Life is a bowl of cherries but beware of the Aardvarks!"
( Meglos -.-. ..- -. - ..-. .-.. .- .--. ..., Fri 4 May 2007, 9:26, Reply)

Someone did some fine graffitti on my next-door-neighbour's house.
They stuck a sign in their forecourt with "For Sale" on it and all the details of our local estate agents.
I thought it was hilarious, but evidently they were upset about it as a few months later they moved house.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:26, Reply)

By the Stroudwater Canal, Stroud


I just like it.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:24, Reply)

Road sign: Oakham, Rutland
"twinned with Royston Vasey"

Hint: downloading these fonts makes your road sign graffiti look so much more authentic.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:24, Reply)

Another one....
can't remember where I saw this political gem:

"Bush is just another word for Cunt"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:23, Reply)

I've been waiting for this
it's always brought a smile to my face

in my local boozer, Henry's bar in Exeter, in the cubicle for the toilet in the gents (and I use the term loosely), someone had written:

"Jasper Carrot wants to bum you"

legendary
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:19, Reply)

Googly eye cru!
What do the googly eye cru do?

They take various pieces of urban infrastructure and turn them into Cookie Monster!

A noble endeavor, is it not?


(tellum0 is spelled with an 'o', Fri 4 May 2007, 9:16, Reply)

In Switzerland
I saw some graffiti that simply said "SEX". Was not until later that i just realised it was 6. Another time in Ireland there was a garage door that originally had
"No Parking, Thankyou" but some little tearaway had cleveryly crossed out "Thank" and added their own "Fuck"
(alwyn Professional Whittler since:, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:15, Reply)

On a wall beside a charity shop I often visit
is scrawled in foot high letters

"I keep cumin"

Every time I see it I wonder if the little tyke has discovered the joys of turmeric yet.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:11, Reply)

Volkswagen
Caltrain is a regional rail service here that goes from San Francisco to the South Bay (San Jose and places like that). Apparently, they are powered by Volkswagen:



(alternate view)

Length? It's 77.2 miles from SF to the end of the line in Gilroy.
(tellum0 is spelled with an 'o', Fri 4 May 2007, 9:11, Reply)

Oooh! Oooh! Just remembered another!
Travelling up the M1, behind a very dirty truck that had a small flap on the back. Some wag had drawn an arrow pointing to said flap and added the text "50p to lift flap and see the illegal immegrants!"
(jimi.vicious regrets criticising the American electoral system!, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:11, Reply)

Every day on the way to work...
...I passed a bridge that had painted on it in huge letters "Prisoner Fans Are Revolting".

Not particularly amusing, but it always gave me a smile.
(jimi.vicious regrets criticising the American electoral system!, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:08, Reply)

God Loves All Sorts
Except The Coconut Ones

proclaimed the board outside the Church.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 4 May 2007, 9:08, Reply)

The difference between Oxford and Bromsgrove
The late unlamented Railtrack used to put self-congratulatory signs up at stations saying "We are working on your station".

At Oxford someone added "...AT THE COST OF OUR HERITAGE".

At Bromsgrove someone changed it to "We are wanking on your station".
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:07, Reply)

Friendly sidewalk graffiti
Someone here stenciled a bunch of positive-sounding messages on the sidewalks a few months ago, like "YOUR EXISTENCE GIVES ME HOPE". Someone else didn't agree:


(tellum0 is spelled with an 'o', Fri 4 May 2007, 9:07, Reply)

In the Alexandra in Clapham
There's a piece of graffiti saying:

'Why in London does no-one care about anyone any more?'

and underneath in a different colour it says:

'TALK TO THE HAND'
( Micro Prawnvica, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:06, Reply)

In Electroworks club behind Angel tube station.
In the toilets someone had written 'BNP'. Then underneath someone had written 'Makes gay porn Ha ha', made me chuckle.
( BindiBaji, Fri 4 May 2007, 9:05, Reply)

At Newcastle Uni:
"Call me on xxx-xxxx for a good time. I'm eight inches long and two inches thick"

"... are you a ferret?"
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:58, Reply)

Pure poetry
"Sittin here, I did spy,
A little pest: a buzzing fly.
When there was only a yard between us,
I hit the fucker, with my penis."

Made oi larf.
(Spreddum O Grrrr. That's my vicious circle, that is., Fri 4 May 2007, 8:50, Reply)