Similar to Willenium on page 6
Passed a van on the M62 with the words

"Please overtake quietly, Immigrants asleep inside"

Made me and my passangers chuckle...
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Fri 4 May 2007, 2:00, Reply)

on the wall of the gents, in the Salisbury on oxford road in manchester
'why wont goth girls fuck indie boys? it's SO unfair!'
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Fri 4 May 2007, 1:59, Reply)

With my 8-year-old sister
During the Daily Telegraph's big ad campaign of a couple of years ago, I was taking my sister to school when we turned a corner to see a huge poster advertising '1,000,000 readers every day'. Someone had sprayed a much-needed foot-high addendum underneath:

AND THAT'S A LOT OF SMUG CUNTS
(Radio Free iPods "Fickt nicht mit dem Raketenmensch!", Fri 4 May 2007, 1:43, Reply)

Malcom X Is A...
Although I don't condone the acts depicted within this story, I can't help but admit that this is the single greatest work of vandalism I have ever witnessed.

In Bury, my home town, there is a building in a district called Elton, which used to be run by a company called Vanguard. Several years ago, the company went bust and the building was left derelict. It was a fucking huge warehouse type building, halfway up a large hill and in plain view of anyone travelling through Elton.

So, in some sort of pique of righteousness, someone sprays "MALCOLM X IS A GOD" on the wall of the building, in letters about 10 feet high.

This stood proud for several weeks, until someone came along and, in a different colour, sprayed over the word "GOD" and replaced it with "COON".

It now read "MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON"

This stood there for several weeks again, until the original scribe crosses out "COON" and replaced it with "GOD" again.

It now read "MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON GOD".

Again, several weeks went by, and sure enough, a retort was made.

it now read "MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON GOD COON".

This repeated itself over the course of about 3 months, until finally the second scribe came up with the retort to end all retorts, and this ladies and gentlemen is the greatest piece of graffiti work ever:

"MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON GOD COON GOD COON GOD COON GOD DAMNED COON"...
( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 4 May 2007, 1:36, Reply)

They were asking for it really...

(alecto, Fri 4 May 2007, 1:27, Reply)

I have a perfectly normal relationship with my Dad but...
When I was 12 my friend Jam and I spent our time before the school bell rung together. One frosty morning we were arguing over whose Dad had the longer penis (Stop judging). To illustrate our points we drew willys minus balls (I bet neither of us knew they existed at that age, it was an all girls school) using just our fingers onto the walls of the black school shed. Need I say the more we argued the bigger the illustration got. Our finger marks remained for 7 years then they tore the shed down.
This was the shed where every weekday morning all the students would file past. I should have become some kind of God to my fellow students, yet in seven years never heard one person mention how strange it was for several drawings of cocks one being 6ft where. I think I went to The Robot School of No Sense of Humor or I was just an unfunny little shit.
(Dingo21 killing hippos on, Fri 4 May 2007, 1:26, Reply)

In an underground carpark...
I once noticed that someone had scrawled "Satin Rules!" on the wall.

Either a dyslexic satanist or an enthusiastic tailor. One or the other.
(jfalle, Fri 4 May 2007, 1:09, Reply)

Broken indicators
Not sure if this counts as graffiti but on the way to work one day I saw a filthy white van with a message written in the dirt; INDICATORS ARE BROKEN, WATCH FOR HAND.

At first I though this was a joke until a hand poked out of the window and signalled a right turn.
(chakaflange, Fri 4 May 2007, 1:09, Reply)

See Me
Back in the day when West One in Sheffield was just being finished off (the loacls will know it the anyone else will just have to believe me) somebody had spraypainted the insightful (yet entirely retarded) "Not accpeting nuderty causes rape".

At the time I was regularly in my role of Pedanto the shittest X-Man and so I got a can of spraypaint myself and added the postscript "2/10 See Me". I thought it was funny anyway.

I realise that posting while reasonably drunk being pedantic about spelling is asking for trouble but I'm prepared to take that risk.

Mr.
(Just_Mister, Fri 4 May 2007, 1:05, Reply)

this used to be written on a dumpster outback of where I worked...
It read: Not for use with nazis. Please use recycle bin.
(CosmonautBuggle Blinds you with science!, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:57, Reply)

In a pub somewhere in Yorkshire
in the loos scrawled on the condom machine
"insert baby in slot for refund"
(273BeLow, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:52, Reply)

The Sun & Doves
nearest pub to King College Hospital. If it's dry moisten it, if it's moist dry it. Congratulations, you are now a dermatologist.

The brain is a computer made out of grey porridgy stuff.
(Carling in a Stella glass Sky high and six thousand miles away, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:52, Reply)

Only slightly tangental...
When I was at school somebody had the bright idea of painting footprints across the playground and over a roof. Good effort, but hardly entertaining - so far.

The punchline came two days later when the headmaster took the foolhardy step of painting over the footprints when people were still in school. The next day there were four-foot high posters of him apparently painting footprints, fly-posted across the whole school with "Revealed! Mystery Vandal Caught on Camera!"


btw, I'm sorry to see that the Velvet Underpants have gone - when Mrs PSD came to visit me for the very first time I pointed them out to her on the train journey home as one of the local landmarks.
(psd eats stuff. Often., Fri 4 May 2007, 0:47, Reply)

Yes
Right here there used to be a hand painted land rover advert next to a car showroom.

It was a beautifully painted ad featuring a couple of land rovers parked in a valley.

Right in the distance someone had discreetly added the silhouette of a lucky blighter taking a lady from behind. It was there for years, and I never got a photo of it when I passed it.

Damn.
(kev.cc, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:43, Reply)

Newport Uni
in the bogs, scrawled across the door in big marker pen. Black Face Black Arse. Underneath in the the neatest handwriting "this is not necessarily so, in my years a a miner I would return from the pit, my face covered in coal dust but on removing my trousers I found that my buttocks were a milky white"
(Carling in a Stella glass Sky high and six thousand miles away, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:36, Reply)

Outside a pub in York...
...a few years ago there was a sign with various details about what was on offer inside. The final item was "play pool". Someone obscured two letters from this to advertise something else entirely. It was there for ages and made me chuckle each I drove past on the bus.
(quotha Get ready for The Goblin's Foot!, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:29, Reply)

Bacon.


Brilliant.
(fishyfishyfishyoooh Tonight I will be Miss Saigon, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:27, Reply)

on the wall of the lower school gents at my grammar school
'i had a blow jump last night'
(ferret joe fun to have in your trousers, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:26, Reply)

It's true that...
...a man does a lot of his thinking whilst taking a dump. On the wall of a gents toilet stall in a college I attended for awhile was:

'THERE'S NOTHING SO OVERRATED AS A BAD FUCK, AND NOTHING SO UNDERRATED AS A GOOD SHIT'

Never read a truer word on a shithouse wall or any other, before or since. Gold :)

may be another repost - it just took less time to type it again than find it :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:26, Reply)

Not really Graffitti...


Good old Minge Street in Birmingham.
(Twisted Nerve Twisted his erm....nerve, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:25, Reply)

Near Cobh, Ireland

(mousehats, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:23, Reply)

At school, this
One of the hot air hand dryers bore the immortal legend "Press here for lecture from JH" (who was the headmaster).

Damn, I can't figure out a way to relate this in any way to a nice comment about Mrs. God.

Edit: Still can't. And her posts are funnier than mine.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:18, Reply)

I'd have left it, meself.
There's a shop in Oxford known as "The Tuck Shop". Well, sort of. The sign is worked in gorgeous olde worlde scrollwork. Some extraordinarily tidy-minded grafitti artist changed it to - well, you can guess. But it's done so beautifully that it's actually really subtle, but it's there.

How I laughed.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:16, Reply)

So many...
A pub in Barnes I used to use,way before the I Fuck Arses from Withnail, I came across the gem roughly chiseled into the plaster above the urinal Eat More Duck. I have no idea but it has stuck with me forever.
(Carling in a Stella glass Sky high and six thousand miles away, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:15, Reply)

Ow, my neck!
So there I was, in a toilet cubicle at Uni. And, as you do, I began idly looking around. I happened to look right - and spotted, neatly etched on the grouting between the very shiny tiles, this phrase: "In case of emergency, look left."

Well, you would, wouldn't you. And if you did, you'd find, exactly opposite, the immortal words, "I said, in case of emergency, dickhead!"

I pissed meself. Luckily, I was in the toilet, so that was all right then.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:14, Reply)

Glasgow Art School
20ft up a concrete pillar:

'I done a jobby :)'
(meepmeep is, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:13, Reply)

Written in the dust
On a car in Oxford: "Anti-glare coating".

I laughed.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:12, Reply)

Toilet Pedantry
Someone had written "AIDS - Natural Selection?" on the walls in a toilet cubicle at my university.

Which prompted someone else to write a lengthy paragraph on why this wasn't the case, using the example of a plane crash, ending with 'In other words, mate- complete bollocks'

Oh, and they added a 'Further Reading' section.
(GiantPooka, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:08, Reply)

2 quick ones spring to mind...
1) on the back of my van (omega turquoise, not white) a couple of years ago some perceptive type wrote in the dirt "filthy van=filthy mind". because of the abrasive nature of dirt and the oxidised nature of my paintwork, when the light is just right you can still read it to this day, even though my van has been washed at least once since then...

2) someone has picked letters off the sign entering siddick (a complete shit-hole near workington, west cumbria) so underneath it reads "PLEASE DrIvE careFULLY"
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 4 May 2007, 0:08, Reply)

Alleyne's High School Stone
in the old gym, on one of the tables used in exams:
Don't Fail
Don't Pass
Expose Your Buttocks
And Expel Gas
(Wigpac shabba, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:03, Reply)