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This is a question Horrible things I've done to a loved one

You shat on her Justin Bieber poster because you adore her. She cleaned the toilet bowl with your toothbrush for the same reason. Tell us of the times true love has not been as true as it should

Suggested by Edenmonster

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 12:56)
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Dirty tricks
Not me, but a friend, dreamt up quite a nasty little trick.

He kept an open bag of Cadbury's buttons next to his side of the bed waiting for his moment to strike. Then, while his girlfriend was sleeping in the nick following an evening of the rumpy and the pumpy, he slid some buttons between her bum cheeks.

Naughty boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 13:26, 13 replies)
See also
www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/post1237319
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 21 Jun 2011, 13:38, closed)

Arse biscuits. Quite a common prank then.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 13:50, closed)

what a legend.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 13:39, closed)

now its not so funny :(
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 13:41, closed)
I don't buy chocolate buttons
not since they stopped putting nursery rhymes on the packet.


Will peanut M&Ms do?
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:21, closed)
they melt in your mouth...
... not in your arsecrack


I'm sure this or something similar was their slogan a long time ago.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:41, closed)

You could use an After Eight mint if you're going for that 'raped in the night' effect.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:16, closed)
That wins the internets

(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:46, closed)
Why was his girlfriend in prison?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:39, closed)
I wondered that too.
I've had some wild sex in my time* but none of it has ended with the girl it was with going to the nick.

*OK, I haven't, I'm lucky if I can keep my tiny cock up long enough to allow entry.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:59, closed)
And how keen are the fuzz on letting people into the cells
to play practical jokes?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:21, closed)

They're very accommodating on the conjugal visits nowadays.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:47, closed)
This is what passes for a conjugal visit, these days?
Jesus, kids, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:03, closed)

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