Why Americans claim to speak english
when clearly they don't.

Also, someone once insulted me by saying "your retardis has run out of batteries". Or it might have been insulting if I'd understood it.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 17:42, Reply)

Mirrors
on the back of hairbrushes. I just don't see the point.

Plus, why are people being so rude about christians, calling them stupid. It's just a different belief. I'm not a christian, but I can't get my head around how the universe just appeared, I mean surely something must have made it, but then how could God have just been around forever something must have made him, the whole "uncaused causer" argument.

You've got to admit it's pretty hard to believe that the universe just came out of nothing.
(something_smitty, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 17:11, Reply)

dr-kill
I know everyone hates people replying...I don't care:P! Ok well as Jesus was the Son of God (if you believe that (I do BTW)) he could've just used his "powers" as such to save himself or just ask God to. But he knew that he was supposed to die so that we could be saved so he let them kill him basically.
(fshingcat lurker- Don't mind me, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 16:50, Reply)

what don't i get?
ebay, drum'n'bass, football, chavs, london buses, pop music, chavs, crazy frog, vodafone, loan companies, children's TV and chavs.

not so much i don't get them, but more i don't understand why they're so fucking shit.

did i mention chavs?
(happyhardcoregabbatechno, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 16:09, Reply)

How come
Jesus sacraficed his life for us, and saved us all in the process? I didnt think he had a choice, didnt the Romans drag him to the cross and nail him to it?
(dr-kill, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 15:37, Reply)

Price matching
Why would someone go to all the bother of travelling 3 miles across town to come into my shop and ask "Do you price match? It's £3 less in ASDA"?
Go and by the fucking thing in fucking ASDA then and leave me the fuck alone.
(garrison, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 14:55, Reply)

This may have been posted, but I can't be arsed spazzing
I was reading some teletext page a few years ago; Backchat or Megazine.. one of those crappy ones... anyway, I pointed out "There are a lot of people called anon. Strange, I've never heard of anyone called anon before."

Only after my sisters had beaten me to death with a rock did I realise my stupidity.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 14:22, Reply)

America
they let you buy a gun in the supermarket and then beat the crap out of you and throw you in jail when you carry it around
(EvilFred is investing in scuba gear., Sun 3 Apr 2005, 13:23, Reply)

people who do not understand the basis of physics
Craggit in particular, who thinks that newton was an idiot! im sorry, but isaac newton discovered not only the 3 laws of motion, which can be applied to everything, he invented calculus, discovered the theory of light (that white light is made of all colours), and the laws of cooling, without this man, we would not have many of the objects you take for granted today.
( Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 13:18, Reply)

Atheists
Not atheists in general, but people who cite atheism as evidence of their superior intellect. You very rarely hear religious people being so self-righteously punchable. If you're so confident, you can sodding well shut up and let people get on with their lives without being mocked.

It also might interest you to know that if religion can be defined as belief in that which cannot be proven, atheism is unquestionably a religion since you can't prove the non-existence of God.

Wankers.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 11:52, Reply)

Here's what I didn't get:
I arrived at work a few weeks ago to find various £10 notes sellotaped to the wall in the breakroom accompanied by bitchy notes from the till supervisor saying something along the lines of "To all cashiers - do these look like real notes? NO! Be more careful."

Thing is, I looked and thought "actually yes they do look real." I simply couldn't understand what it was that made it so glaringly obvious. Eventually, someone pointed it out to me and it clicked.

anon: 'sic' is used to indicate a mistake that isn't your own. For example, if you are quoting something in which there is a spelling mistake you might put (sic) so people know that you are aware of the mistake and it is deliberate. If that makes sense.
(Mr Slippyfist, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 11:46, Reply)

'Paper Shop'
A couple of weeks ago I was waiting for a bus when two young scally lads came riding along on a trial bike (like they do). They stopped and looked at me, waiting for me to glance at them so they could take the piss. When I looked at them, one of the little bastards, loooking at my battered converse trainers, piped up, 'where'd ya get yer shoes from, a paper shop? Eh? Did ya get em from a fucking paper shop?' I just don't understand what this means. I've actually heard it a few times, and never understood it. I guess it could mean either 1) that they are saying i bought my trainers from a newsagent or corner shop, in which case suggesting they are cheap and shitty, or 2) that i bought them from a shop made out of paper, but why would a shop be made out of paper? I just don't get it!
(Bobby T, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 11:28, Reply)

Why Isaac Newton said
That if the universe is inifinte, then the Earth is at the centre of it....So intelligent isn't he....

If the feckin' universe is infinite then there IS no centre!

And to think that people look up to his "expertise" for guidance is embarrassing. No wonder the world is so fucking dumb.

AND

Why the labels on childrens medicines say "Keep out of Reach of Children"...That's just mean.
(kyouraku, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 11:13, Reply)

Why do Americans make up a sport
and then have the cheek to call themselves world champions?
(The Disillusioned Starburst, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 11:12, Reply)

Adverts
I just don't fucking get why they have people doing very bad impressions of foriegners on the voiceover for McDonalds adverts. War, famine and injustice can rage around me but nothing makes me as furious as a baffling advert. Just thinking about it makes me want to pull my trousers down and smash things up with my butt.

Also, my mate Elliot finds nearly everything baffling.
( HappyBadger, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 10:58, Reply)

Slices of Lemon in Coca cola !!!!!!onehundredandeleven.
"You want lemon in your coke?"
"Yeah...Stick a fucking sausage in it too!"

SAY NO TO FRUIT AND VEG IN SOFT DRINKS!
T-shirts available soon
( AgeOwns Has just started Geocaching, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 10:50, Reply)

At the time, monkey, at the time...
Ah whaddever.
I don't get why people can't enter a discussion without pissing and moaning when someone gets it wrong.
(spida, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 10:24, Reply)

this topic.
I just don't get it.

Also sex.
( Frumbert has no sig, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 10:15, Reply)

Spida...
Thats right... when you colonial types kicked up a fuss with that whole demand for self government and in America that protest about taxation, resulting in the seperation from England DID lead to the persistence of archaic English words in America

George Washington did in fact use a "flashlight" to illuminate the parchment on which they scrawled the Declaration of Independence

What happened was yanks objected to always being overshadowed by our shining example, so when Dr. Johnson published his fantastical new dictionary some of them copied it but "Americanised" it - Z's for s's, omitting u's - like in humour etc.

Also... fewer Americans than British? Are you serious
The statue of liberty says something like "Bring me your tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to be free..."
The fact that America saw an influx of immigrants, with hugely varying ethnic origins meant new words and languages were introduced on a massive scale,as well as leading to the formation of patois, pidgin and creole languages.
end rant and history lesson
I don't get why people don't think before they post.
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 9:55, Reply)

Get out the cleaver, brain_carnage_self,
I own 3 bandhags, one which my boyfriend's mum made me and none of them cost more than $30.
So meh.
You want fries with that Shetland?
(spida, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 9:02, Reply)

Hey Hnandrew! I can help you there!
Americans actualy use the old english version, from the time when they all emigrated over. Communication with the UK was only spasmodic to the average joe so the English language evolved separately. I would expect that as there were less Americans their language evolved more slowly.
Let me know if you reckon this is bullshit, I'm not proud ;)
P.S. I'm Aussie, so I'm not biassed. Honest.
(spida, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 8:29, Reply)

i really dont get.......
.........my vagina, and why the f*** a penis hasnt been there yet?

lmfao
(la folle, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 8:24, Reply)

Evapourated milk
but when you open the tin there's always some there!!
(codename Gaz, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 8:18, Reply)

THE MATRIX
i really dont get it.......... NUFF SAID
(codename Gaz, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 8:08, Reply)

The Pope
kept us all guessing didn't he?
(squirrelysquirrel, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 7:45, Reply)

I really hate...
People who confuse "lending" and "borrowing", for example "can you borrow me a pen please?" to which i relpy "NO fookwit, I will however insert the pointy end in your ear and skull fook you with it".. Is it too much to ask???


Also i really dont get why cheesy cam corder clips shows are so supposedly funny.. I mean poor aunt Maude falls down a flight of stairs breaking an arm leg and hip.. yeah hilarious.
(jonnywombat has been a waste of money brains and time since, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 7:43, Reply)

When I was a kid 7, 8 years old
My friend told me that there was this movie which consisted of nothing but people walking around naked and every other word was a four-letter word. It was clear that he wasn't talking about pornography: this was a feature film... I always had one eye out for this gem.

As an adult I finally pieced together that he was telling me this as a result of overhearing his Mom complaining about the trash in American cinima in these modern times (this would be the '70's)... I can just hear his mother bitching about all the naked people and foul language.

It took me long enough to hear it, though.
(Somerreign, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 7:24, Reply)

Coopsweb,
It's because they have $100 trainers - they can't afford to do anything except hang out at the railway/bus station and drink Tesco Value Cider!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 6:22, Reply)

oh and ringtones
why is it so fucking hard to find a ringtone that sounds like a ringing phone? Only Nokia phones seem to have that, my Samsung phone just has songs... it's annoying as piss, I don't want to be in a business meeting and have to have stayin' alive ring through.
(dr3wrocks, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 5:39, Reply)