sex
I just don't get it.




Unless i pay for it that is.
(well its not going to suck itself yadda yadda yadda, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 1:25, Reply)

How
the world is far from perfect, yet it just works, the way everything seems to fit together. And what confuses me more is the way that the artificial monetary and consumerism aspect of the world just seems to work together aswell, I really cannot understand how they first started using money and then how banks started and how the stock market works.

Oh and the way that people (e.g most of these answers) feel the need to openly criticise and dismiss other people's beliefs, interests, hobbies or cultures, just mind your own business.
(Neatly Sliced, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 1:14, Reply)

Digeridude:
I don't think many people would consider Myra Hindley a celebrity per se...
(Mr Slippyfist, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 1:10, Reply)

text language.
It's the electrnic equivalent of writing in crayon.
On a related note, smileys. If you're so inarticulate as to need a smiley face to clarify the sentiment of your writing then don't write. In fact, don't breathe.

People who say "I don't want to offend anyone, but" as a precursor to saying something incredibly offensive. Because of course that's exctly what they wanted to do, and moreover they want to prepare everyone for the potential offensiveness just to be sure no-one misses it.

Tories, capitalism, women, men, competitivenes, air-conditioning on convertible cars. Let's face it, the world's a big, confusing, scary place for me. meep.
(stickybellyflapcock, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 0:04, Reply)

Wankers
I work in a bank and at 5pm everyday we lock the doors. Why is it that people still walk up to the automatic doors and wait for them to open, then when they don't open they bang on the door to ask if we are closed? Isn't it fucking obvious?
(Crazyshark, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 23:50, Reply)

Cats on Drugs
I don't understand why it's considered wholesome family entertainment watching a young kitten spack out on Catnip.
It's like giving speed to a toddler and laughing!
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Sun 3 Apr 2005, 23:42, Reply)

The NEW British sense of humor confuses me utterly.
Having been born in England, but having lived in America for the last 13 years, I've noticed a definite decline in the amount of wit and dry sarcasm used. The Brits have all taken on a strange and Americanized (-sed) form of humor, based on making fun of celebrities. Unfortunately these references are so obscure that most people have no idea who the celebrities are.

"What's black and white and red all over?"

"Brian Belm's nose!"

Pardon me if all I can say is WTF? I have no idea who Myra Hindley is, or that fellow from the last compo. So what ever happened to the days of:

"Sire, do you like my new broach?"

"Baldrick, it looks like you've sneezed."

Think about it, chaps.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 23:11, Reply)

so no-one who lived before jesus got into heaven?
Gutted
(Daveh, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 22:44, Reply)

Teh Papal selection process
Some dude (its funny because theyre old) who is like 59 is aparently too young to become pope and some other dude who is 77 is not too old. Whats the point in electing a 77y.o. as pope when he will be cenile in a few years(or already is)and a few years more and he will be dead. How much wiser is a 70 year old than a 60 year old?

Also, do rhetorical(spelling??) questions need question marks?
(woo who?, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 22:04, Reply)

Football fans
Why do people get so obsessed over a game where boys run up and down a grass field that they actually pay a team money to wear copies of their clothes? Just, why? Do they fancy them or something? Is it love?

If an obsessed star trek fan started dressing like Jean Luc Picard then they'd be stoned in the street, but because it's football it's somehow an acceptable level of freakness.

I fucking hate football.
(bondgrrl, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 21:59, Reply)

for all those
for all those (ok i only read one page) who said jesus shouldnt have gone to heaven because he was a bastard: Jesus didnt go to heaven, he >sacraficed< himself to open the gateway to heaven.
(woo who?, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 21:58, Reply)

Beats me.
The human race, homo sapiens, mankind. What is it with you people? I've been 'going along with it' for nearly 32 years and I'm buggered if I know what it's all about.
(Green-Alsatian, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 21:52, Reply)

if satan tortures evil souls in hell,
and god chooses who goes to hell to be tortured fro being evil,
surely satan works for god, right?
i mean, if they were enemies, satan would be doing it for fun, and god giving souls to satan would be cutting his nose off to spite his face, right?
why do people claim otherwise?
(Slurpy The Frog, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 21:10, Reply)

I dont get tials last two replys
If the brits didn't complain how would we break the ice at bloody stupid functions and business meetings,
about posting september the 11th jokes, very few people on B3ta think everyone else shares there humour but if you didn't post unless everyone else thought it was funny there would be no funny posts
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 21:09, Reply)

I don't understand
why I can't go out on a Friday or Saturday night without getting the fear... why fools fall in love, why the sky so blue and why the sea is so deep... if information technology is so adapt at making our lives easier why do I still have to get up at stupid o'clock, drive an hour to the office in rush hour, when I can effectively work from home... Oh and pro hunt supporters... savages!
(gsxr600oz, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 20:52, Reply)

Spida
thanks! makes sense :-)
(dr3wrocks, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 20:20, Reply)

I don't get...
people who don't understand the question of the week
(Bobby T, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:58, Reply)

erm...
paul daniels and debbie mcgee

and the games that we used to play around micheal's house...
(notatoosyet, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:53, Reply)

People Who Complain
What's the point? How can you be entirely happy with your life if you go around hating people all the time?
If people (especially us Brits, i've noticed) were to go around being happy, and congratulating people for things, rather than complaining, i'm sure we would all feel a greater sense of hapiness, as well as spreading that feeling with everyone else. Marvelous!
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:50, Reply)

i don't get
why these boards have the posts going backwards in tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime

surely the universe will implode
(Cpl. Nobby Nobbs, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:49, Reply)

Goatse
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse.cx - Im sure someone else has already pointed out what Goatse is but oh well
(b0w13, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:44, Reply)

Anti-Religious People
What's to loose from being religious? Surely if you become religious and there is a God, you've been doing the right thing. If it turns out there isnt one, you're not gonna be around to notice anyways?

I dont see how anyone can slate religious churchgoers just because they pray, which makes them feel happy. How would you feel if i slated you because you like to go down the pub with your mates? Pretty confused i'd imagine. It's the same thing. :-)
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:42, Reply)

B3ta
How people on B3ta can post images of the Pope's death, 9/11, Tsunami and think that everyone finds it funny. Also how the mods can select these images and post them on the front page!
I'm personally not against stuff like this, I believe that something funny can be made out of anything, but to believe that the thousands of people reading share exactly the same sense of humor as you can't be logical?
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:32, Reply)

Donnie Darko
I am ashamed.

And how on earth does a helicopter work?
(notmother, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:17, Reply)

i just dont understand
how people can be so rude about other cultures and stuff! the pictures posted up about 9/11 and the pope's death are stupid and ignorant. i can deal with the sex and gross stuff cos its kinda funny but when it gets to generalization and anti-culturilism it drives me crazy..
(bite_me38, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 19:16, Reply)

Soap operas
So why do people watch eastenders emmerdale etc on tv ? Do they not have friends and pubs and shops They should try it. It is just like being on telly
(Mr Hardy, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 18:52, Reply)

i don't understand...
face off...i STILL can't understand that film...it really baffles me...well that baffles me most is why people would want to watch it

oh...and i can't understand how men can find gay male sex disgusting but desperately want to do every woman they meet up the shitter?!?!?
(Nos coeurs cocaine Montparnasse Le mix de gelée vodka et le beat, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 18:35, Reply)

Went in a shop yesterday, *shudder*
Since when could you buy jeans for more than £100? I don't even think they were golden.
(Daveh, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 18:16, Reply)

Google lightening fast searches
Check out this message i got when i searched for 'B3ta'...

Results 1 - 10 of about 3,580,000 for b3ta. (0.27 seconds)

Are you kidding me! 3 and a half million pages found in 0.27 seconds!!! It must have looked through thousands if not millions of times more pages than that just to find those. It took about 10 minutes to find a file searching my 80gb hard drive the other day... Their HD's must be well fast!

Google = Alien technology*

*probably
( AgeOwns Has just started Geocaching, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 18:15, Reply)

If being a bastard is a sin (which I think it is)...
...then Jesus shouldn't have gone to heaven, because he is the bastard son of God. Think about, God never married Mary. Therefore Jesus is a bastard. In the literal sense of course, otherwise he was a pretty sound guy.
(Keiths Dad, Sun 3 Apr 2005, 17:45, Reply)