Dance of the flaming Arsehole
My friend decided (in an advanced state of drunkenness) that he would attempt to run the perimeter of my back garden (20 to 30 metres). Simple enough you say.

Not when he has his trousers and kecks at his ankles with a few sheets of A4 paper (rolled up) shoved up his erse and set alight. The point of the game is to reach the end of the course without scorching your ringpiece.

He made it about 1 metre.
Thus ending the game.
(logan28, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 16:41, Reply)

sucking skittles
requires:
1 pack of skittles
1 underground train ticket (or similar)

very simple to play:
roll the ticket up in to a tube (the bad pun works best with the ticket type described above). put the number of skittles you think you can suck up in one go in a line on the table. proceed to "snort" them (into your mouth, mind).

warning:
skittles striking your teeth really hurt.
can cause serious choking if you're not careful. : )
(fay, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 16:40, Reply)

"Heady the Fat Kid"
I don;t know whether anyone else used to have "Headying" at their school, but it involved sneaking up behind someone and pushing their head forward as forcefully as possible. Whiplash a bonus.
This metamorphosed into "Heady the Fat Kid", where the school fat kid would be headied. When the fat kid gets angry and runs after you, you run away, thus exposing his back to your other schoolmates, who would then get a chance to heady the frustrated fat kid.
This game can be played for a whole lunch hour if neccessary.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Thu 1 Apr 2004, 16:38, Reply)

To avoid arguments
Someone shouts "hands on head!" and whoever is the last to do so is required to go to the bar, shut the drafty door, other errand.
(nonproffessional, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 16:32, Reply)

Poo sticks
No, not the childhood game of yore, but a slightly cruder version...

Basically Jordan kicks some horse poo up in the air and I hit it with a stick.

The dryer the poo the better - it tends to 'shatter'. Obviously, you must avoid getting covered yourself.
(gavD, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 16:23, Reply)

Messages for the children of the future
In the deep of the night, go with friends, a pen , some paper and lots of bier in a park.
First drink the biers.
Then, note messages of hope for the children of the future on a small paper and put it in an empty bier can ( glass can is better coz you can see the message inside ).
Then, burry the biers in random place in the park. You have to burry the cans quite deep and try to remove any trace that a hole as been digged there.
Then .. well, there's no real point apart from the fact that perhaps, kids of the future in shiny silver suits will find your drunken messages of hope.
I always feel like I fulfilled an important mission for the planet when playing that :)
(_ULu_, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 16:03, Reply)

Agashagundry la da
A couple of friends and I were on a trip to Budapest, there, waiting for adventures to begin and hung over in last summers heat we invented Agashagungrey. In short, my mate was laying with his top off on the grass, me and another friend started to flick coins that arched over and landed on his belly/ chest and sticking on (it was hot and sticky so the coins stuck and he didn’t seem to mind). When a coin hit the target and stuck on we shouted Agashagungrey (my mate thought the word meant good health or something similar in Hungarian, we discovered on the first day it meant nothing, but we liked the sound of it). When we got two coins on the belly button we shouted Agashagungrey and linked arms and danced a merry jig similar to that danced by footballers in the 1930s, I presume.
(La la la de da, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:51, Reply)

Well it started off as impromptu
when a bunch of us were sharing a large house many years ago. One "mate" had tried to decorate the place by putting a godawful anodised gold-and-glass mini goblet shitful thingy on the mantlepiece. Probably bequeathed by some dead aunt. Anyway, as it was taking up valuable bong space, I decided to dispose of the hideousness by putting it in another mate's work bag.

Here starteth the game.

He reciprocated the next day and immediately arose the challenge household-wide of trying to get other people to unwittingly ferry it to work/uni for the day. It got to the stage of sheer paranoia as you walked out the door in the morning, wondering if you'd been goblet-ified.

South Korea was its first overseas trip.

New Zealand 3 times in a row (he finally stopped us giving him lifts to the airport, bastard.)

It's now bounced between Australia, the US and England god knows how many times over the last 21 years.

There is not greater joy than being woken at 3am by an international phone call: "You fucking sneaky prick"
(baldie, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:44, Reply)

The easy super fun one player games compendium
..... is new from funco fun fun toys for kids.
Includes the classics:

Pretend to have a limp
Pretend to be retarded
Fall over dramatically for no reason

Best played in crowded public places.
(tricky_soul, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:40, Reply)

A game i invented this morning
Although someone must have come up with it before, but its still pretty mega.

When on the bus, wait for it to pull up alongside another bus, at the lights, say. try and get the attention of someone on another bus, and in turn get them to tap the person on the seat infront of them, as if you want to talk to them. when the person taps the other person, quickly look away and pretend nothing happened. infantile, but funny.

And you get to piss off two people at once. hurrah!
(Rushy, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:28, Reply)

Multi-Phone Department Phone Attack
Simple this one.

At work get all the members of one Team/Department to ring another Teams phones simultaniously.

Give each of your team members a number to call, all dial the number allocated bar the last digit, then all at once dial the last digit.

If you get this right all the phones in target team area all ring in sync.
(Sp4mM0nkey I can go Anywhere!, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:24, Reply)

Oh yeah, And Condiment Challenge
Which involves pub lunch. It's very like the rizla game where you have a famous person's name stuck to your hed, except in this case it is the name of a pub sauce [ketchup, mustard, vinegar etc.] Each player has to guess whatt condiment they are by means of asking questions like 'what car do I drive?' and 'what's my favourite smell'. Most point are won by guessing your condiment using the most apparently irrelevant or made up information. Surreal in the extreme, and genuinely unnerving when you discover that youcan get quite good at it.
(nono,nononono,nononono,nono there's no limit, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:16, Reply)

bus/corner malarkey
on the school bus me and my mate used to sit next to each other, and whenever we went round a corner we'd really overact the lean as we went around corners, until one of us ended up on the bus floor.

we also used to try and get the bus to roll over by everyone on the bus running to one side of the bus as it went round a sharp corner. never, ever worked.
(hnnrs, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:14, Reply)

Escalator Chase
Go into a small shopping mall with a couple of escalators. Hagning a coat over your arm or leaving your bag open is sure to attract the attention of security. Get as high up in the shop as you can, then dive into a shop, dive out again and run as fast as you can through the building as your 'getaway' preferably go the wrong way down the escalators, or at the very least push grannies and people with pushchairs out of your way. Suddenly security guards appear from everywhere and chase you for no reason. Stop the very second you get outside the door, and watch them all pile up behind you. Great fun.
(nono,nononono,nononono,nono there's no limit, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 15:03, Reply)

The Waiter game
Two of my mates invented this while on holiday in France. the idea is to attract the attention of a waiter in a bar or restaurant by saying "Oh Waiter".

The game begins by one of you saying "Oh Waiter" really quietly. You then take it in turns to say "Oh waiter" but the catch is that you have to say it louder than the last person. The game frequently ends up with you shouting so hard that your head feels like it's going to explode. Oh and a seriously pissed off waiter.
( Prof. Piehead, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 14:33, Reply)

They just keep coming today!
This one was from the Leeds Festival last year...

We called it "Roll Down The Hill" and the object was to get as many people to roll down the dirt hill that lead to our camp. We were doing rather well, with me on 20 and my friend on 15, until the police turned up and started arresting the rollers.

Then began the "Get People Arrested" game. Which was very similar to the above game, only that the rollers got kicked out of the festival. To get around it we had to come up with increasingly strange excuses for the arrests, my fave was my mates response of "Oh the police? Thye're here so no-one gets hurt."

Sorry to anyone who missed saturday and sunday of leeds due to this game...
(i_killed_that_guy, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 14:17, Reply)

snooker drinking
When watching the snooker my bruv and his flatmates invented this. Ideally works with 3 players but could work with 1-6 aged 5 and up.

I'll assume three players.

1. Dress up in waistcoats + bow ties etc
2. Get lots of beer (packs ideally), wine (red and white), spirits for shots etc...usual prep for a drinking game
3. Start

Basic Dynamic:
Each get two pockets - these allocations rotate to make it fair. Allocate drinks to the colours of all balls - red=red wine, white=whitewine or vodka etc, if something goes down your pocket you drink that drink everyone else has fingers of their BASE DRINK = points of balls potted in the pocket.

4. Bonus Points:
These are based on what the commentator says, cant remember them all but:
a) "Where's the white going?" all down white wine (or white allocated drink)
b) "He's split the pack" split a fresh pack of beer and drink all of it
c) and the ultimate: "Touching ball" - when this happens you have to finish all your drinks and then run over to my brother and touch his left ball with the sponge (these items are already sterilised and on show, ready for this eventuality)..

there were more but i cant remember them, i do have an amazing photo of "touching ball" in action, my brother's left ball is a mighty and fearsome object
(callipygous everytime I kill a hitchhiker, God masturbates, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 14:10, Reply)

What's their name game.
This game evolved one Friday lunchtime last summer when me and some mates were sitting outside a pub on Upper Street. The way the game works is thus, someone nominates a person walking down the street and you have to shout out what you think their name is. You'd be amazed at how many women are called Jocasta in Islington......actually you probably wouldn't be.
(cyril spawned a monster, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 14:09, Reply)

Office Curling
After annoying the rest of the office with a conkers tournament, a mate of mine invented a game called "Office Curling". It's pretty easy and is a variation on the tedious Scottish winter sport. A player gets hold of an office chair and rolls it as gently, or as violently, across the office as they like to a designated target area. Traditionalists may want to raid the cleaning cupboard and use the Henry vacuum cleaner in the place of the "sweepers" to smooth any bobbling in the nylon office carpet.
Depending on whether you're playing Office Curling League or Union, the winner is the person who gets the chair closest to the target, or just destroys it completely.
(cubesville, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 14:09, Reply)

The Glass of Gay/ The Tumbler of Un-Gay
Invented backstage at my friends bands gig in Liverpool. After covering the walls of the dressing room in random drawings we moved onto the mugs. My mate filled one with some beer and wrote on it

"He who drinketh from the Glass of Gay, will forever be known as gay."

The filling the other with tea (made from boiled sprite...not the nicest thing in the world)

"He lies the tumbler of un-gay, drinketh from this to reverse the effects"

Suffice to say that the rest of the night was spent hiding the tumbler of un-gay from people.
(i_killed_that_guy, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 14:07, Reply)

Two quick ones
Two games:

Me and a friend played one at a house party a while back. The house had three huge floors, with a ton of closed doors, and we stood on the top floor, placing bets as to which couple were in which room.

Once bets were placed, we went to each room in turn and opened the door, the one who guessed the most incorrectly, had to barge into the room of the winners choice and make conversation with the couple in there.

Game number two was inspired by the terrible driving skills of a friend who had crashed three cars in as many months. Everyone in our year placed bets as to when he would crash his fourth car, each putting £1 into a jar. The winner would get all the money, plus the chance to nominate one of the many losers to deflate said cars tyres and wrap clingfilm round it.

Oh the fun.
(i_killed_that_guy, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 13:56, Reply)

Two quick and pointless ones
Dealer on the Bin

Many moons ago (about 15 years now), every afternoon when school finished there was a mad rush amongst my friends and I to be the first to get to the rubbish bin near the tennis courts. The person who got to it and sat on it first was Dealer on the Bin for the day, not that any of us dealt.

Shoe Olympics

Simple, really. Get under the influence of your substance of choice on a playing field, child's playground, etc., remove one of your shoes, and start renacting olympic events with it. Not really aerodynamically suited to Javellin, but great for Hammer Throwing, and two sets of shoelaces tied together held between friends makes a great impromtpu high-jump post.

Warning: Playing Shoe Olympics may lead to dogshit all over your sock.
(Glis, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 13:14, Reply)

Like Knuckles, but less fun...
On the way back from a school visit, a friend of mine decided to play a version of the classic: Knuckles.

However, we played a version that simply involved taking it in turns to hit each other's knuckles. Of course, the bus journey home took over an hour, hence, by the end of the "game", we were both in considerable pain.

We called it a draw at the school gates :)
(Psychotic Mongoose, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:49, Reply)

Seagull Death
We used to put our sandwiches on the middle of the picnic table and lie on the benches with our eyes open.
The winner was the person who could stay there longest while seagulls dived for the sandwiches. very scary indeed.
(fook, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:47, Reply)

Random Rugby
Couldn't be simpler. You agree with your mates before you go out that it is ok to rugby tackle each other whenever you wish. It means that you have to keep everyone in your line of vision all evening, but other than that there's nothing to it.

Also - 'Cred Or Red'. Invented on the spot last Christmas. You get up, charades-style, and relate a story about anything you wish. If your opponents doubt the credibility of the story they beat you on the legs until they go red.
( routine has perfected burgers, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:45, Reply)

my mate
also made up a kind of tumble-dryer/frisbee game where you had to get a frisbee into the tumble dryer from about 10ft away. it was pretty hard, especially when we realised that the frisbee was actually bigger than the tumble dryer entrance, thus rendering the game impossible and pointless.
(hnnrs, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Food Mover
A fun game. Fill your shopping basket/trolley with items you have no intention of purchasing, and as you work your way around the supermarket, have fun depositing them in random and inappropriate locations. If you change your mind about that fresh haddock from the seafood counter, for example, why not leave it on the shower gel rack?

Almost as much fun as the timeless classic 'making a mess in Burger King'
(el_pollo_diablo, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:41, Reply)

My Friend
Happened spontaneously. In school. In the playground. We were bored.

One person found themselves encircled by everyone else within our group. We all suddenly began pushing him about, saying 'my friend' in a sort of monotone, zombie-like voice. Until he fell over, whereby we all left dirty great shoe prints over his uniform. This seminal moment, kind of how Webb Ellis must have felt, a few miles down the road when he invented rugby, formed the basis of what developed into the great game we all know and love - it became more violent; had harder pushes, so you'd be flying one way, then straight back in the other direction, fast; more people involved; more shoeprinting; less volunteering to actually play; and indeed, some people used to get my friend-ed much more often than others. Strange that.
(And I don't agree with that in the workplace, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:36, Reply)

Tate - Shate
Walking round the Tate Modern, it's surprising how many people actually agree with you that many of the exhibits there are not art at all. Loud, open insults of things like a video of 2 dwarfs jumping up and down shouting 'no!' (it means nothing you know), or the one of a naked man in a boxing mask punching himself (he needs to get out more i think), tend to be greeted with smiles and agreement.

This has the pleasant effect of turning the hoighty-toighty snobbery and you-just-aren't-clever-enough-to-understand-it air of many people in the gallery on its head.

It's liberating, kids, it reclaims art for you, the people, from the clique, who think themselves superior because they all enter into an orgy of self-delusion that just because something has a concept behind it, even if it's an unmade bed, it is art. If there's any justice, any comments you make should make them aware that they are prisoners to themselves.

You see - you are right! It really is the Emperor's New Clothes! Don't worry, the clothes don't exist, it's all OK. You are right, dammit!

And relax.
(And I don't agree with that in the workplace, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:28, Reply)

Me and the lady...
...play a game where we have to be the first to spot 5 Burberry or Louis Vuitton offenders in Churchill Square shopping centre in Brighton.

Bit of a midweek game really though, it only lasts around 30 seconds on a Saturday.
(MikeCUK28, Thu 1 Apr 2004, 12:26, Reply)