I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN
* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.
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(
rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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Tell Us Your Story »
Who's the sexiest Smashing Pumpkin?
Billy PHWOARgan!
(
The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Jan 2023, 8:45,
Reply)
What's blue and full of shit?
A cyantologist.
(
Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 5 Jan 2023, 15:10,
1 reply,
2 years ago)
Please hold your applause till the end
Why should you thank Jesus when riding bicycles with your mates?
Because he died for your Schwinns.
(
gub~gub under new dictatorship, Wed 4 Jan 2023, 2:09,
Reply)
West Yorkshire Police have set up a new unit to combat dog theft
They haven't caught any criminals yet, they have been overwhelmed with Leeds.
(
The Biscuit, Mon 2 Jan 2023, 10:23,
Reply)
Did you hear about the dyslexic computer programmer from Hull?
He's currently working in Goole.
(
The Biscuit, Mon 2 Jan 2023, 10:22,
Reply)
hi risk anus
anagram comp
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 1 Jan 2023, 1:57,
2 replies,
latest was 2 years ago)
In which Chrismas staple rom com film does all the action take place underwater?
Love Aqually.
(
Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 29 Dec 2022, 11:17,
1 reply,
2 years ago)
Have you heard about the George Floyd musical?
Critics say it's a absolute breathtaker.
(
FrenchBoast, Mon 26 Dec 2022, 16:48,
5 replies,
latest was 2 years ago)
How cold was it last night in Mississippi?
Tupelo zero.
(
LS18, Sat 24 Dec 2022, 17:54,
Reply)
I got an Al Capone poster to cover my nephew's Robson and Jerome CD I got him for christmas
I asked what music he was into, and he said he really liked gangster wrap
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 22 Dec 2022, 4:11,
2 replies,
latest was 2 years ago)
Which singer is known for his festive hit "Merry Eid al-Adha Everyone"?
Sheikh bin Stevens!
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Dec 2022, 0:47,
Reply)
Who sang "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" before being fatally wounded by a prop gun?
Brenda Bruce Lee
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Dec 2022, 0:43,
1 reply,
2 years ago)
Which American guitarist who rose to fame in the late 1960s and early 1970s is the inattentive grandmother of Father Christmas?
Careless Santa nan!
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Dec 2022, 0:16,
Reply)
He's Jamie Jamie Jamie Martin
He's a petrol head he enjoys motor carting
When he does a guff he never stops farting
He's a knob and everyone then starts departing
Smug twat
(
President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 17 Dec 2022, 14:49,
Reply)
He's Simon, Simon, Simon Rimmer
He'll cook you a fantastic dinner
Your plate will have a lovely shimmer
When you leave you won't be thinner
(
Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Fri 16 Dec 2022, 23:08,
Reply)
Which tv chef is an Elder Scroll?
Si Rim
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 15 Dec 2022, 18:10,
2 replies,
latest was 2 years ago)
Which singer hates Christmas so much right now, aaaaargh?
Kelis Navidad.
(
The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 14 Dec 2022, 19:16,
Reply)
The Jungle Book
is an exceedingly good read
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 14 Dec 2022, 15:00,
1 reply,
2 years ago)
Which tv chef and descendant of William Archibald Spooner likes to chant "I'm cock-a-hoop, I'm bubblin' soup"?
Rimon Simmer
(
The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 13 Dec 2022, 13:29,
Reply)
Which tv chef likes to run his tongue over intimate parts of female virgins?
Hymen Rimmer
(
Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 12 Dec 2022, 19:47,
Reply)
Which tv chef is the biggest arse-licker?
Simon Rimmer
(
Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 12 Dec 2022, 15:16,
Reply)
Times restaurant columnist Giles Coren has been rushed to hospital
having swallowed a set of Nativity figures which had accidentally fallen into his ratatouille.
His condition has been described as critical but stable.
(
UrMum, Sun 11 Dec 2022, 14:07,
Reply)
Which tv chef is also a hologram?
Simon Rimmer
(
President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 11 Dec 2022, 12:13,
Reply)
My apologies
Egyptian archeologists have recorded rare fart-like sounds emanating from the mummy of one of the pharaohs.
For lack of a better description, they call this unusual phenomenon
TOOT UNCOMMON.
(
LS18, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 12:47,
2 replies,
latest was 2 years ago)
Which former FIFA World Cup president was actually a hologram?
Jules Rimmer
(
Woodkovsky โน๏ธโ๐ปโ๐ฝโ๐ฃโ๐ฉโ๐งปโ๐, Wed 30 Nov 2022, 21:58,
1 reply,
2 years ago)
Which Tory politician pollutes the air every time he takes a piss?
Jacob wees smog
(
Dick Wonder โ wโโโy, wโแตฅy wโโdโแตฃ, Wed 30 Nov 2022, 13:24,
Reply)
Which Man U player has a cuddly toy waiting for him when he gets home from football matches?
Marcus Roachford!!!
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 29 Nov 2022, 23:01,
1 reply,
2 years ago)
pisspoor Doctor Who joke.
I'm remaking a 1981 Tom Baker Doctor Who serial using only Danish construction toys.
I'm going to call it Legopolis.
(
coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Mon 28 Nov 2022, 21:18,
Reply)
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