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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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Who's the sexiest Smashing Pumpkin?
Billy PHWOARgan!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Jan 2023, 8:45, Reply)
What's blue and full of shit?
A cyantologist.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 5 Jan 2023, 15:10, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
Please hold your applause till the end
Why should you thank Jesus when riding bicycles with your mates?
Because he died for your Schwinns.
(I helped save b3ta! gub~gub, Wed 4 Jan 2023, 2:09, Reply)
West Yorkshire Police have set up a new unit to combat dog theft
They haven't caught any criminals yet, they have been overwhelmed with Leeds.
(The Biscuit, Mon 2 Jan 2023, 10:23, Reply)
Did you hear about the dyslexic computer programmer from Hull?
He's currently working in Goole.
(The Biscuit, Mon 2 Jan 2023, 10:22, Reply)
hi risk anus
anagram comp
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 1 Jan 2023, 1:57, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
In which Chrismas staple rom com film does all the action take place underwater?
Love Aqually.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 29 Dec 2022, 11:17, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
Have you heard about the George Floyd musical?
Critics say it's a absolute breathtaker.
(FrenchBoast, Mon 26 Dec 2022, 16:48, 5 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
How cold was it last night in Mississippi?
Tupelo zero.
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Sat 24 Dec 2022, 17:54, Reply)
I got an Al Capone poster to cover my nephew's Robson and Jerome CD I got him for christmas
I asked what music he was into, and he said he really liked gangster wrap
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 22 Dec 2022, 4:11, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
Which singer is known for his festive hit "Merry Eid al-Adha Everyone"?
Sheikh bin Stevens!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Dec 2022, 0:47, Reply)
Who sang "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" before being fatally wounded by a prop gun?
Brenda Bruce Lee
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Dec 2022, 0:43, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
Which American guitarist who rose to fame in the late 1960s and early 1970s is the inattentive grandmother of Father Christmas?
Careless Santa nan!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Dec 2022, 0:16, Reply)
He's Jamie Jamie Jamie Martin
He's a petrol head he enjoys motor carting
When he does a guff he never stops farting
He's a knob and everyone then starts departing

Smug twat
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 17 Dec 2022, 14:49, Reply)
He's Simon, Simon, Simon Rimmer
He'll cook you a fantastic dinner
Your plate will have a lovely shimmer
When you leave you won't be thinner
(I helped save b3ta! Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Fri 16 Dec 2022, 23:08, Reply)
Which tv chef is an Elder Scroll?
Si Rim
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 15 Dec 2022, 18:10, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
Which singer hates Christmas so much right now, aaaaargh?
Kelis Navidad.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 14 Dec 2022, 19:16, Reply)
The Jungle Book
is an exceedingly good read
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 14 Dec 2022, 15:00, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
Which tv chef and descendant of William Archibald Spooner likes to chant "I'm cock-a-hoop, I'm bubblin' soup"?
Rimon Simmer
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 13 Dec 2022, 13:29, Reply)
Which tv chef likes to run his tongue over intimate parts of female virgins?
Hymen Rimmer
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 12 Dec 2022, 19:47, Reply)
Which tv chef is the biggest arse-licker?
Simon Rimmer
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 12 Dec 2022, 15:16, Reply)
Times restaurant columnist Giles Coren has been rushed to hospital
having swallowed a set of Nativity figures which had accidentally fallen into his ratatouille.

His condition has been described as critical but stable.
(UrMum, Sun 11 Dec 2022, 14:07, Reply)
Which tv chef is also a hologram?
Simon Rimmer
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 11 Dec 2022, 12:13, Reply)
My apologies
Egyptian archeologists have recorded rare fart-like sounds emanating from the mummy of one of the pharaohs.
For lack of a better description, they call this unusual phenomenon TOOT UNCOMMON.
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 12:47, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
Which former FIFA World Cup president was actually a hologram?
Jules Rimmer
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky โ˜น๏ธโž๐Ÿšปโž๐Ÿšฝโž๐Ÿ˜ฃโž๐Ÿ’ฉโž๐Ÿงปโž๐Ÿ˜, Wed 30 Nov 2022, 21:58, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
Which Tory politician pollutes the air every time he takes a piss?
Jacob wees smog
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder โ‚ wโ‚’โ‚™โ‚–y, wโ‚แตฅy wโ‚’โ‚™dโ‚‘แตฃ, Wed 30 Nov 2022, 13:24, Reply)
Which Man U player has a cuddly toy waiting for him when he gets home from football matches?
Marcus Roachford!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 29 Nov 2022, 23:01, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
pisspoor Doctor Who joke.
I'm remaking a 1981 Tom Baker Doctor Who serial using only Danish construction toys.

I'm going to call it Legopolis.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Mon 28 Nov 2022, 21:18, Reply)

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