yet another list
yet another list i'm afraid and in no particular order

1. people who get a drink in a busy pub and then stand at the feckin bar. Get the f**k out of the way so I can get my liquid refreshment!
2. fog lights on cars used when there is no fog
3. stupid stories on B3ta that end in tenuous puns (thankfully this trend seems to be dying)
4. cars with stuck on body kit, after market wheels, and general Halfords tat.
5. People with absolutely no clue what's going on around them, including people who walk in pairs on narrow foot paths and have no idea I'm stuck behind them. MOVE!
6. Starting a sentence with the word "like".
7. Confusing there, their, they're and all the other usual examples.
8. Dole scum who sit and complain about "the foreigners" stealing the jobs they have no intention of doing.
10. dole scum who refuse to change their circumstance.
11. serial breeders who don't pay their own way and expect me to fund their baby farm.
12. Poor parenting. The kids are badly behaved because of your parenting or lack of it.
13. Fat people who refuse to take responsibility for it. (I'm no super model but I know why I have those extra pounds).
14. In a survey or 2 people, 50% agreed or other such crap. Survey a decent number of people.
15. There is no percentage ABOVE 100% (Xfactor is awful for this). I cannot give you 110% it's not possible.
16. People walking up to my desk around the generally accepted lunch period of between 12-1 or 1-2 and saying as i'm mid sandwich "oh are you on lunch?".
17. People walking up to my desk when i'm already doing a dozen tasks and asking "oh, are you busy?".
18. People who stop me while i'm carrying a box of paper/printer/PC/something heavy and asking "do you have a minute?"
19. I guess, mostly just people who ask me things!?

I could go on (and i'm sure I'll keep editing with additions), but this will do for now.
(mr_spongmonkey, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 16:14, 10 replies)

Most of these posts are perfectly rational hatreds
And continuing in that vein, mine is people who talk on their mobile phones on the train.

If you sit down near me and start bleating to Wendy about how Jonny came in Lisa's ear last Thursday, or whether anyone heard from Sadiq after he kicked in that tramp, I AM going to take your phone and shove it so far down your MOTHER FUCKING THROAT that it ends up resting in your fucking ball bag, you self absorbed, arrogant, shit faced little god-damned mother fucking cunt of a fucking fuck.

May you and all your offspring rot in the deepest fires of hell. You'll love it; you can interrupt your demonic torturers by calling each other and screaming loudly about how you're going to be late for dinner because a giant sentient wasp is dancing the fucking fandango on your flayed off corneas.

May your wife drink liberally the semen of another man, may YOU drink liberally of the semen of another man, unknowingly but in a very public situation with all your friends laughing at you. May your genitals shrivel up, your voicebox fall out and may ants take up residence under the skin of your hands. I loathe you so damn much I almost have an aneurysm when you're around.

BURN.

BURN YOU SHITS, BURN A SDFKJANKDSLJFHALSDJFHAKSDHFKLJASHFLKASDLHK


PS - Long time lurker first time poster, I love b3ta etc
(pupmup mingeballs wankpant cunt, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 16:14, 7 replies)

Mostly
Nice people. Don't trust em.
(Pat_Gash, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 16:10, Reply)

lower case text
whether it be logos, advertising text, or emails

no distinction is made by capitalising the first letter of sentences or proper nouns. punctuation often omitted or used sparingly

i can't put my finger on exactly why, but it offends my eyes
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 16:06, 4 replies)

people who say "Off of" when describing where they are from
It's ok when someone in the pub says "You know, him off of the telly", while just "off" would suffice, that doesn't really bother me.
But thanks primarily to twats like Scott Mills popularizing it on Radio 1, I now hear it applied to things like "and caller number 3 is Rachel off of Norfolk"

NO, caller number 3 is FROM Norfolk. You are not off of your place of origin, YOU ARE FROM! FUCKING FROM YOU FUCK!
( HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 16:02, 5 replies)

RAS syndrome
RAS standing for Redundant Acronym Syndrom.

PIN number? It's a PIN.
PSU unit? It's a power supply.
LCD display? Aaghaahgahahaaahhhhhh.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:53, 10 replies)

Cherie Blair
Intellectually It should be for her somehat dubious dealings, ( allegedly, private-eye haven`t been sued as far as I know) and being the consort of ex president B-liar.

NO! No, a thousand times no! It is that "thing" she does with her face.
I watched a beeb doc about #10 yesterday which brought it all back.

If you`ve put the family dog in the back of the car with the window open it has to stick its head out of the window, Even as you speed up to 60 and its gums and jowls are flapping in the slipstream it is still there, facing into the gale, dog-happy.

That view in your door mirror is what you see when you see Cherie in most photos.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:53, 8 replies)

Myself.
It's time to put some My Chemical Romance on, write a poem and start cutting.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:41, Reply)

People who cannot cope with the fact that language is in a constant state of flux.
Deal with it, grandad.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Unto the firey flames of hell for all eternity:
People who talk at the cinema/theatre
(StruStru saving the world at no extra charge, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:33, 3 replies)

The Nissan Micra
The epitome of the devils car. Usually driven at 20 miles per hour under the speed limit by people who should have had their driving licenses taken away years ago.
( herd of chickens First part only £1.99 and comes with a free, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:28, 3 replies)

People who claim to get upset by trivial things like vernacular speech, grammar and spelling mistakes
Also, those who profess righteous and worthy lolinions - we're all in the shit pit together and you're just as selfish, hypocritical, annoying, and a square-on twat as everyone else.

No it's not irrational but my rage against it is.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:27, 1 reply)

Those people who constantly use quotes from movies in conversations as a substitute for being funny
you know who you are and you're as funny as cancer.

May as well add in people who quote from american sitcoms. Oh. My. God.
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:21, 2 replies)

Escalators
Does this count as irrational?

I have a deep and abiding belief that escalators are supposed to speed up moving through crowded areas. I think that if you are stood on one, you should walk up the steps instead of waiting for the machine to haul your fat ass to the next floor.

I know that 90% percent of people would rather just stand there, right in front of me, while I fume and tut and roll my eyes and sometimes let out a little exasperated groan (I don't go shopping very often), but somehow I can't shake the belief that the device would be pointless if all it did was move people upstairs at half their normal walking speed, and therefore (surely) you're supposed to walk up them.

Worse is when you're stood on one of the extra-wide ones like in my local Marks & Spencer, and the person in front of you has his hands on both banisters (and is bending down a little to do this) even though there is nobody ahead of him, so you tut and groan and call him a cunt under your breath but just loud enough for him to hear, then he turns round and it turns out he's the manager, and even though he sheepishly lets you go past, somehow you feel like the cunt just because you've put your perceived efficiency of moving through a department store above the feelings of another human being.

Yeah, I fucking hate that.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:21, 8 replies)

LOL ROFL LMAO

( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:18, 3 replies)

Have not Of
Gah!
It boils my blood.
I can understand kids on text messages using slang - I don't like it, but thems thangs!
Why, oh, why, oh, why though can't the vasy majority of the English speaking world get into their tiny pea brained heads that the phrase is "I could have..." NOT "I could of"?
It makes me want to carve a large OF out of dried excrement and make them eat it.
...and breathe!
(ape_hots, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:17, 1 reply)

The book was so much better....
If you've ever watched a movie with someone who's read the sodding book...you'll know, you'll know
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:16, 1 reply)

People who say 'it's so bad it's good'

( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:16, 1 reply)

The radio DJ Halifax adverts
drive me insane. I could quite happily dissect a live puppy after watching one of those. The screen writers, actors and anyone associated with them ought to be executed.
(Scary Ghost, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:09, 4 replies)

people who write numbered lists.....ahem cough

( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:08, Reply)

This QOTW has made me realise i have an irrational hatred of almost everything. Here's some samples
1. People at the front of a queue who seem surprised when the shop assistant tells them the amount for their goods and waits to be paid. They then spend several minutes spacking about trying to locate their purse/wallet inside their handbag/coat. If you're really unlucky, they'll finish off by attempting to get the exact amount of change which generally involves them repeatedly asking the assistant 'How much have i given you there so far?'. Tends to happen more often to old people and women with large handbags. Can also happen getting on a bus.
2. Foreign exchange students who think the bottom or top of an escalator is a good place to stop for a group discussion. Especially annoying in a London Tube station.
3. English people who when asked where they're from say 'Oh I'm half scottish/Brazilian/Irish etc etc. You're English, stop being a twat.
4. Fat people who claim it's an "illness".
5. Herby sausages - There's no f*cking need for it.
6. The small print on adverts on tv especially for womens products. ie Survey based on 108 people. 58% said their hair was slightly more shiny. Seriously?
7. Reality TV. According to my wife, I can ruin the enjoyment of any reality TV show if I'm made watch it. Hate hate hate, fame hungry whores and staged managed bags of shite.
8. People with a gap between their top two front teeth. Gives me the shivers and makes me nauseous.
9. People who refuse to move out of the fast lane because they're doing the speed limit. ARGHGHGHGHGHH
10. Slow drivers who speed up like a maniac whenever they encounter a straight piece of road making it really hard to get past.
11. Slow drivers who refuse to move over to the hard shoulder to let the 3 mile tailback overtake them.


Going to have a cigarette now before my heart bursts.
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:06, 2 replies)

Balloons
Hate the fuckers. The squeaky sound rattles my soul, and nine times out of ten there's an annoying, E-numbered, child on the end, bouncing it in everyone's face and screaming.
If not that, then the other scenario is someone pointing out in the street, 'Wow look at that balloon in the sky', as though it's the most awe inspiring thing they have ever had the pleasure of glancing at.

Where else do you expect it to be?
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:06, 1 reply)

I hate Austrians
Not War related, or anything to do with a bad experience....They just kind of look...well...German.
(Bushcricket, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Oh god oh god watch this bit it's so scary this bit coming up here here watch

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:57, 1 reply)

Davina McCalls's dead shark eyes.

(McChinaman banned, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:54, 5 replies)

Running commentary and reading aloud.
I think I have finally thought of something that really shouldn't bother me but it does and I don't know why.

Co-workers who like to give a running commentary while they work. Like "click here, then I've just got to open this and do that" etc. Makes me want to tear their throat out.

Also co-workers who can type a sentence quietly but are unable to proof read without reading it out aloud. It takes all my self restraint not to shout "Can't you read that to yourself in your head you fucking mouth breather!". And that's with people I actually like!
( z0mb13e has a bee in his botnet, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:54, 2 replies)

bhangra

(waxdart hello., Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:51, 3 replies)

I hate the looks I get
When I make out with my sister in public.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:50, 4 replies)