I Hate Hate Haters

( Fat Fred too weird to live, too rare to die, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:25, 1 reply)

A certain age of driver here in the North of Scotland who indicate right and then left when actually travelling ahead at a round-about.
Thats not the way we were taught it (as an older learner driver I passed my test 5 years ago).

The use of "like" as a in "I was like, whatever" "She was like shut your face" "He was like, smack him one".
Its a comparison, so not actually then
(szmytke, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:12, 3 replies)

Clowns..

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Sorry, one last pea. But it does annoy me
When people say "Historia et vitae magistra", when they clearly mean "Historia est vitae magistra".

Oh, and how can people confuse inevitable with inexorable? Grrrr!
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 13:40, 3 replies)

intollerant people...
... and the Dutch.




bindun?
(ScousersPet, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 13:34, 3 replies)

people who think Lynx is a deodorant
it's not, it merely combines your own fetid odour with a cloying powdery stench that makes you smell like a schoolboys gym kit
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 13:22, 3 replies)

Comedians
Who do they think they're kidding?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 13:19, 6 replies)

Working as a designer gives me a unique exposure to this
People who Initial Cap words that Seem to have no relation to the Sentence in question.

Or Even Worse, Those Who Initial Cap Every Word In A Sentence.

I have turned purple and made tutting noises whilst reading through several of these.
(chuckle_h0und You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 13:04, 5 replies)

TWITTER

( mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:59, 2 replies)

Cat owners who refuse to accept that...
1 - Cats are NOT as good as dogs.
2 - They're gay n shit (both cats and their owners).
3 - Other stuff.

I own neither BTW and so I am totally impartial.
( mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:55, 14 replies)

Grown adults who won't eat crusts on sandwiches
Fucking babies.
(mersault, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:35, 3 replies)

Forrins.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:29, 1 reply)

Seems to be more general pet peeves being posted
then irrational hatred.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:25, 1 reply)

Lemurs
What do they think they're staring at?
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:19, 2 replies)

Butter
A friend of mine has what is bordering on a phobia of the stuff. Any sarnie must be on dry bread. Any food that contains butter is shunned. If a beer is in the fridge on the same shelf as the butter, he won't drink it.

Possibly he was scarred at a young age by Last Tango In Paris...?
(tree hugger putting the "semen" in "basement"..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I'll pea this:
Those of you that have to tolerate buzzwords in meetings, I suggest making up your own. Especially as they will have no idea what you mean by them.

Extra points if you can get them using the phrases. I'm going to start the ball rolling with these:

"We need to squeeze the teabag and add the milk"
"the party-baloons are deflating as we speak"
"Apply the cream and see what stings"
"Light the blue-touch paper and retreat"
"We need to see if Cheggers does indeed play pop."

And saving the best until last:
"Blue-bin thinking" (recycling same old trash). You may need to change the blue to whatever colour your recyclables bin is.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:19, 2 replies)

If you're getting the bus
at least have a fucking wash. And a quick spray of Lynx Africa wouldn't go amiss too.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:10, 2 replies)

William the Conqueror
Because he was a twat.
(Big D, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:06, 7 replies)

Polite Notice: You (yes, you there) are a complete Cunt-Slug.

And I'm sorry, but flowers wither and die as you drag your horrid, hag-ridden form past them. No offense meant.

Now, I am entirely aware that the following assemblages of words:
Polite notice.
No offense meant.
I'm sorry, but-
do not automatically denote the person using them as a spiteful little pleb. It is entirely within the realms of possibility that someone might choose to use a 'Polite Notice' to draw attention to a problem without wanting to be rude in a very real, genuine sense. It is irrational to instantly dismiss the user as a spineless weasel of a human and a petty, inefficent bully.

But I can't help it, I'm irrational about it. Just seeing a 'Polite Notice' instantly provokes me into a very impolite response indeed; I can only fume in futility at the growing popularity of such sayings.


Furthermore: Keith. What a horrible name.

No, I don't know why - its just a random noise in the air and I don't really know anyone of that name anyway. But still: Keith. Keithkeithkeith. URGH.


Also, I wish Chelsea FC to lose every match in horrible, glaring embarassment. This, despite the fact that I'd struggle to direct a tourist to Chelsea and that football bores me senseless. I can hardly explain why the ball needs to go in the net, let alone the offside rule. Its just that I guy I loathed used to avidly support Chelsea, so I feel a little tight quiver of glee each time I happen to hear they lose something.

Is this irrational? I know no other Chelsea supporters, so whether they are all tossers is something I cannot say...
(IChewCandlewax, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:05, 5 replies)

Dog owners! not picking up shit?
It's truly vile, and if I ever see you doing it, and not collecting when challenged, I will mash it, still warm, in your face.
( Filthy narwhal titty titty tits tits tits, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, 10 replies)

and also, when people are listing stuff
Take for example, someone describing their must-haves for a new house (probably spewed out on a property program of sorts). Imagine the intonation of the first four notes of 'London's Burning', slow it down and apply it to

'a big kitchennn, light and aaiiirryy, a nice bathrooomm, etc'

Stop it, stop it now. Why do it? What possible meaning are you trying to project with that way of speaking?

"We went swimmmiinngg, sat on the beeeaachh, went shoppiiiinnng, got muuugged.."
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:57, 2 replies)

The hanging so
Ending a sentence with 'so'.

Someone: "And such and such happened, and this was the situation, so...."

"So what?" is my stock reply. It's a sentence in it's own right, adding the 'so' then expects me to mentally supply the punchline.

I've noticed this of people Mrs SLVA knows that she bumps into in shops (whilst I kick my feet, act bored and whine 'can we go now?').
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:56, 7 replies)

i've never seen so much bile on this board,
And I agree with so, so many of you.
My biggest hatred is of hugely obese people that use those mobility scooters because they're too fat to walk about. I don't know why, but nothing else offends me more than seeing them.
( Filthy narwhal titty titty tits tits tits, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, 6 replies)

Cheese
I've used this as a previous QOTW answer in the murky past, but I'm older/wiser/filled withTesco Energy Drink, meaning this answer should be a little clearer.

When I was young, my parents were quite eager to have me eating lots of different foods. I'd try everything: paté, cheese, weird veg - it didn't matter. The problem being that in their own words they often 'forced me to eat things'. And so began my transformation from a cheese lover, into a cheese hater.

For as long as I can remember I've hated cheese. There are half accessible memories of the consistency, but these are fleeting. Whenever I see a block of sliver of cheese, I feel ill. The texture makes me gag, and should I pick up a block of the greasy, yellow muck I'll need to wash my hands afterwards.

Ah but where is the irrational hatred? Well the problem is that I'll happily eat parmasan on pasta, and I really enjoy pizza. But place those same cheeses in front of me on their own and I'll happily smash them into pieces with a hammer.

What started as a dislike for the stuff has turned into a bi-polar campaign of hate. I need to wash worktops that have had cheese on them before I can use them. I can't eat anything that's touched cheese. The thought of even eating it right now is making me taste sour in my mouth.

Then again, I could murder a Dominos.
(chuckle_h0und You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:44, 6 replies)

Bog roll and milk bottles
Having to 'un-do' a new bogroll. This makes me rage hardcore... It's so hard not to tear the fucking thing apart in a rage. Even though it seems to like tearing itself apart anyway. Either that, or the sheets go their separate ways, so then the 2-ply doesn't stick together properly and you're wiping your rusty brown eye with sandpaper-like bogroll.

I also hate opening new bottles of milk. That stupid lid you have to tear off always either:
-breaks. That little tab tears off so then you have to stab it open with your teeth (or knife, if you're well posh, like)
-if the tab doesn't tear off, the lid opening always splats you with a little bit of milk. I hate smelling like milk.
(plecko, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:42, 4 replies)

People who hammer a joke into the ground
long after it's died of natural causes.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)

People who think it's written as 'could of' instead of 'could have'
There's a reason could've and should've ends with 've' otherwise it would be spelt could'f and should'f.

Yes?
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:26, 2 replies)

FFS. People who write 'could of' instead of 'could've'.

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:52, 3 replies)