Ghostbusters
When I was a kid me an my brother were obssesed with ghostbusters, so one xmas our parents got us these ghostbuster backpacks and guns and all. So this Xmas there we were running round the upstairs of my aunts house back packs on, screaming "don't cross the lines!!!"; woe betide any spook attempting to mess with us!

We ended up battling some ghosts in my aunts bedroom one of us on either side of the bed, my aunt had 2 skinny wardrobes built into the wall on either side of the bed so we decided that would be the natural place for ghosts to hide.

As we made our way cautiously towards the doors, they both flew open with a startilng bang, I froze eyes wide and out lept our parents one out of each wardrobe both screaming at the tops of thier voices, in the confusion we rightly shit ourselves, started screaming dropped the guns and ran for our lives. Some ghostbusters huh? (Some parents huh?)
(ShizerKaiser, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 0:59, Reply)

I don't know if it's strictly dark side
But some of the stories my Mum tells about her school children do freak me out a little bit. She's the headteacher of a nursery, and the kids are aged two to four.

One girl used to tell my mum that she used to be a 40-year old man who went fishing in Ireland, including details about all the different rivers and fish. Another boy would refuse to answer to his name, insisting instead that he was a 37 year-old woman named Sue. He would wear a dress and high heels whenever possible. She also taught a boy who, at the age of three, scared her more than almost anyone she'd ever met before. She said he had the blank, dead eyes of an expressionless psychopath, and that she was certain that's what he would grow up to be.

Another teacher friend had a boy of six (normally one of the best behaved in the class) stand up while she was teaching and asking: "Miss, what about the boy?" He was pointing to a table on which sat some soft toys, including a stuffed owl. "What boy?" she said. "He said he wants to kill your owl," the boy replied. Extremely disconcerted, she told him to sit down and carry on, but he was insistent that the boy was still there. In the end she was left quite shaken, and had to practically order him to sit down and be quiet.

Neither me, my mother or my friend really believe in ghosts but kids can be downright creepy sometimes.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 0:39, Reply)

Filipino Vampires
When I was twelve, I read a 'stranger than truth' story about a Filipino vampire with glowing eyes, who floated six inches above the ground, and who could enter a jail cell and attack women who had been locked away for their own safety.

I'm still afraid of dark rooms.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 0:10, Reply)

Spooky little coincidence..
Once I was staying with a friend, and I couldn't've been much older than 12. The house next door was supposed to be haunted, and it had been empty for years, so we decided to go look around.

We, being the foolish things that we were, decided to implore whatever it was that haunted the place to give us a sign that it actually existed. Then we got bored and left.

And then her mother ended up waking us up at about 6 am the next morning after getting a phone call telling her that her brother, the girl's uncle, had died sometime in the early hours of the morning. His heart had stopped, no previous health issues.

Scary, particularly when you're twelve.
(Fodqou, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:50, Reply)

Ultra:
Your story rings a bell. Just saying, like.
( Shrub Rocketeer is a twisted emotional husk, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:34, Reply)

The Manor Arms
I used to work in one of the oldest pubs in the country - parts of the building date back to 1104, though it's been extended and modified over the years. The smoke room was supposed to be haunted for years by an old lady who smoked a pipe, and although I never felt/sensed/saw/heard anything, lots of other people (both patrons and staff) reported being aware of her. Though when it was just me alone closing up, I didn't hang around after I'd turned all the lights off.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:34, Reply)

Ultra:
Your mate's a cunt.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:26, Reply)

Not the dark side as such
Not me, but have heard this from a mate.

In school, he had this god-fearing teacher, went to Church every Sunday, and was a little mousey, timid fellow.

Anyway, my mate and some other chaps decide, that, the next Sunday, they will play a prank on him, while he is in church. So, they wait until he's parked his car and the service has got going, then they all push the car around the side of the church, and write a huge '666' in the gravel where the car was.

The bloke came outside and literally shat himself. He was never the same after that, and turned into a gibbering wreck, never leaving the safety of his own home.
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:21, Reply)

Tempting fate
Every day, I get the bus home from college. Usually it's an enjoyable ride, as I live right on the coast and seeing the beach is a rather pleasant way to end the day.

A few weeks ago though, we could see loads of police cars surrounding the arcade on the seafront. We were joking about it, saying how the filth were crap if they've only just realised the arcade's where to get your gear. I happened to joke that 'I hope it's something exciting, maybe they found a body or something. A drowning would be great!'

Lo and behold, on the news that night, there was news of a body of a 24 year-old man being washed up earleir that day down by the arcade.

Never laughed so loudly out of fear.
(normannomates, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:20, Reply)

To teach him a lesson!
One of my friends (call him Chuck) had a cousin visiting him (call him Scott). Scott showed up drunk, and stayed drunk just about the whole time. We got fed up with him and decided to teach him a lesson and scare him off of booze (though we were all pretty well crocked ourselves, or it wouldn't have seemed like such a good idea).

We took him out to the woods that night and started a campfire. After a few mintues, and him into his second or third beer of the sitting, we launched our plan.

"Well, Scott," Chuck began, "since I moved here I've changed a lot. I've come to understand the lies I've been told my whole life by my parents, by my teachers, and by the minsters. Jesus is a fraud. The only one true way is through Darkness. We have to watch our own backs, nobody can help us. That is why I have turned to Satan."

Scott laughed, but Chuck continued. "I'm serious. Satan understands that you have to fight to keep going in this life. Forget this pussy stuff about forgiveness. If you don't defend yourself, you will be crushed."

Scott started freaking out, and the rest of us saw that this was going too far, but Chuck kept going. We just sat there. Scott started begging and pleading, and finally took off into the woods at top speed, in the pitch dark, smacking full into a tree and vomitting all over himself.

A couple of my friends (not me, though) were self-described Satanists, but they were really just free-style anti-Christians. One is now hopelessly addicted to meth and the other is in jail forever (it's first degree murder if you reload the gun while filling your best friend full of bullets).

Guess we really taught Scott a lesson, huh?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:14, Reply)

scared?
at 9 years of age as a groups of young chaps do we visited the local "ghost tunnels" (1890's military tunnels) and got a little scared I guess, but seeing as how you would have to be A COMPLETE RETARD to believe in any of this ghosts, monsters, living dead shit then I guess none of us were ever really that scared. I mean come on b3tards, we're not so fucking stupid as to believe in all this crap are we?
hearing people scream at 2am - Foxes/cats
ouija boards - somone moving the object (this may be subconsious)
ghosts - trick of the light or somthing you are too stupid to explain

Just read the other stories of people who have played the pranks... you are the idiot who has been fooled if you believe in any of it!

(for those who don't have a cake on me)
( SiX and his hat, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 22:46, Reply)

Nothing actually supernatural...
I was 11 and just started secondary school, and it was my first time getting the bus home. While I was en route, two arses from my class told me we had to change buses, and then jumped back on our bus just after I'd got off and waved at me out of the back window as it pulled away from the stop. I had to wait an hour for the next one, and then went home and told my mum. She told me we'd get even.

The next weekend, I invited one of the bus pranksters to stay over for the night, my mum's idea. I lived in a big, spooky old house, which my mum used to make up ghost stories about. Just before we went to bed she told him a story about a woman who haunted the house, who had thrown herself out of the attic window when her husband didn't come back from the war (it was complete guff, just like the story about the pipe-smoking man which she used to scare me with).

He was sharing my room, and my mum had given me a pencil light to shine at the ceiling when I was in my bed with the lights out. She'd also sent my sister up to the attic to make scraping and banging noises with a slipper ("Holy shit, what's that noise?! The attic's been sealed off since we moved here!". It was actually my sister's bedroom).

It all backfired when he pissed himself and fled downstairs in hysterics, and my mum had to come clean. Worth it, though. Oh, the joys of having a vindictive mother.
(trashbat, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 22:30, Reply)

Putting mouse over the 'Voodoo Master Ivana" advert on the front page
and getting taken to the talk board.
Hmm psychic
( thistle, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 22:14, Reply)

supersam11
oddfellows dartford?

try living at temple hill farm house with a load of lesbians, that´ll shit you up
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 22:07, Reply)

Everyone else has seen more ghosts than me
A weird guy I went to school with used to like to tell everyone his endless ghost stories. He had a huge collection of horror films he simultaneously loved and was terrified of - especially me as he knew I hated anything scary or gory. He had endless 'ghost stories'... how he walked down a path near a battlefield with his dog and there was a ghost down there with no head, about his cousin who was haunted every night by something so hideous he couldn't describe it, the endless ghosts in his house, and then when he moved they miraculously followed, and the ghost that stood watching him in Austria while he was sleeping. He claims to 'attract' them.

The worst one was when he claimed the boy who'd bullied me relentlessly in school, emigrated and been killed in a messy car accident was now his spirit guide and was watching over both of us as we talked. Except he chose not to tell me about it until after he felt the presence. And it won't surprise anyone to learn he loves Most Haunted.

My mum has seen a UFO hovering over our house, but she was with a friend who also saw it so I know it's not her seeing things.

My housemate claims a ghost sat on the end of her bed the other night - she couldn't see it but she felt it sit down. And at my parents' house I often see a black cat-shape out of the corner of my eye, or hear purring. I like to think it's the ghost of my kitty, who died about 3 years ago.

My school was rumoured to be haunted by about five ghosts - one of them was a pupil killed in a car accident, another a teacher who hanged himself, vengeful ex-pupils, etc. We all stayed in the classroom it was sensed in most often (the most moved stuff) one lunchtime and all we got for our trouble was a mass demerit and being forbidden to ever talk about the ghost again on pain of suspension. They knew. They had to, and it was all a cover-up to stop us raising the ghost from the dead or something and having it free-roaming the school. I think as my school wanted to be Hogwarts, or as Hogwarts-y as a day school can be, it would have benefited from a few ghosts flitting about.

EDIT: Almost forgot about this... the earlier point I made about the guy who made my life hell in school? Once he upset me so much that I screamed at him "(name), I hate you and I hope you die as horribly as possible!" Scarily enough two years after he emigrated I got a call fairly late at night to tell me he'd been killed in a car accident near where he now lived. I don't even dare think things like that about people now, just in case it happens again.
( Maladicta, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 22:04, Reply)

Jimmai
that eeire screaming at midnight when there is nobody around or about, its a fucking cat!!!!!
(lankynyack, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 22:02, Reply)

Have never had a supernatural encounter in my life...and feel somehow cheated.
And believe me i've tried. I've deliberately stayed in supposedly 'haunted' hotels, rooms that are 'by legend' haunted in very large and old houses (I know a few toffs), dabbled in the 'black stuff,' and have experienced utterly nothing. Perhaps the spirits are put off by pissed people, who knows...
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 21:45, Reply)

Hello.
I did a Ouija board/met a witch/heard a noise in the attic while my friend/brother/sister insisted that she/it was entirely fake/entirely real. Anyway long story short, we shit ourselves/proved that she/it wasn't real.

Good times.
( Laughing Boy, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 21:32, Reply)

My babysitter was a witch!
I grew up with some really really weird people. Mind you, it was a radical lesbian marxist household, so I suppose that goes with the territory. Some of my "parents'" strange friends would babysit me - there was the lady up the road whose son, although twice my age (I was 4, he was 8) insisted he was my boyfriend. There was the ex policewoman who once peeled apples, threw away the apples and made us eat the peel. The best though, was the white witch.

A vicar's daughter, I'm not sure how she'd become a witch, but she was part of a sisterhood and everything. When I was three, she'd tried to teach me tarot cards, but I was far too interested in the pretty skelleton pictures to pay much attention. She had crystal balls in her room, a really cool pyramidal one (for chanelling energy) and a whole load of strange things.

She was also a fitness freak and a strict vegetarian - her kitchen smelt of the 70s, and we made soup and added ingredients from large jars on shelves stuffed with all kinds of odd labelled things I couldn't read.

One day, many years later, I found out she'd died. Over exertion they said (that's what too much exercise does to the over 60s), and in her will she'd written that she wanted all her friends to come to her house and take a small trinket that reminded them of her. All the rest went to the sisterhood. I was about 9. Entering the room, I saw the crystal balls. 'No', they said 'Those have already been reserved by the sisterhood...' I took a small sheep I used to play with, a coiled sea shell and an old silver brooch I remembered.

After that, I used to use it in exams, hoping it'd bring me luck. It might have made a difference had I revised better - by the time I was 14 I gave up, polished the brooch, and then left the pretty shiny thing in a print tray in my room. Nothing extraordinary happened.
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 21:14, Reply)

would u believe
theres a friendly ghost called casper who keeps trying to cup my balls...nice chap tho
(i_walk_bing_crosbys_dog, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 21:12, Reply)

Garden Ghosts
Picture the scene. My and my best mate (both then aged 7) set up a tent in my garden. It gets to about half eleven at night when strange noises start coming from outside. Naturally, we sat there in our sleeping bags shitting ourselves. Cue the swooshing noise down the side of the tent and the whole thing shaking like crazy. I ran inside screaming, leaving my (now ex-best mate ... and quite rightly so) to spend the night in the tent all by herself.

You can imagine how cheesed off and humiliated I was the next day, when I found that my parents had been kicking footballs so that they brushed against the side of the tent, before running off and hiding behind a tree. They still piss themselves laughing whenever they think back to that fateful night.

Bastards ...

Ginger Hobbit
xxxxxxxxxxxx
(Ginger Hobbit, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 21:10, Reply)

gran-tabulous
I recently used a ouija board after a grandparent passed away, and what do u know, seemingly they were talking to me from the other side,,,and what the most bizzare thing of it was , they said john wayne was evil (no, really) and that was the same night my g/f got twacked wi a hoover that was neatly tucked away....yoooou decide!
(i_walk_bing_crosbys_dog, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:51, Reply)

Nothing,
as I am not stupid enough a cunt to believe in all that ghostly mumbo-jumbo
( Hankster, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:36, Reply)

Has anybody else noticed...
...that the palm of a black person's hand is white, making the back of it the dark side?

More stories of being wanked off by black people, please!
(Keiths Dad, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:32, Reply)

We were doing a ouija board.
Me and my mates, in the local park, when we were about 14. I drew a rough version up of a board on paper, with the relevant numbers, letters and 'yes, no' sections. We proceeded to try and talk to spirits, using a 2p coin as a guide, asking various questions and seeing where the 2p coin moved.

Obviously, nothing happened, we all moved the coin a little, basically it was shit.
"I know, lets tear it up and bury it in the graveyard, and come back in the morning to see if anything has happened to it", said Twaz (not the brightest).

We all agreed that this was the only way to be sure of any 'contact' so we did just that. The next morning we went to the same spot, and removed the pile of earth from on top of our ripped up ouija board....
There were screams of terror, one girl even cried. The paper had magically joined itself together, in fact you would never know that it had been torn in the first place.To this day, they all still mention 'that' morning.

What i didn't tell them was that i had drawn up a new version and swapped it that morning, whilst on my paper round.........
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:09, Reply)

Then the Chupacabra attacked...
Me and my friends have a nice spot we like to call "THE SPOT" (original, I know). It's smack in the middle between a trucker rest area to the south (which is our only entrance and exit point) and an industrial rail yard to the north. To the west there's a some kind of coal packaging plant and to the east theres nothing but hills. The spot is nicely divided by the local river with an abandonned bridge reaching over from the south (trucker area side) bank to the north bank (freight-train yard).

We use our slice of quite undisturbed land for either: a.) taking a girl there for nice lovely debaucheries or b.) getting baked/shit faced under said abandoned bridge.

On one particular occasion, after rounds of "puff puff too stonned," we decide to venture out into the rail yard. We found an abandonned huge shed on the south end of the bridge. The thing was too HUGE to be a simple shed. So, in our fully baked courage we decided to investigate this oddly ginormous shed.

Uppon entering, the place was empty and dark with little light shinning in from the rail yards lights. In the dead center of the one room Huge shed was a burned recliner along with some tires and barb wire and a smashed crate. It was six of us, one of us was diabetic. I did not know this, for him and me had been eating cheap chocolates before venturing out from under the bridge. The place was a spooks paradise. Graffitti and taggings ravaged the tin walls and craked concrete floors.

I felt fear creeping up on me. But it wasn't because of the fact that if a chainsaw weilding maniac ran in from the outside, wanting to gut us open, we'd have no where to run and no one to hear our screams. Nor was it that the place could have been stomping grounds for Satin's Desciples that would unleash an all mighty wanker of a demon on us. It was that the corners where dark. They where "Rockstar Game's Manhunt" dark.

With stoneness comes paranoia. And letmme tell ya, I was shit parnoid of those dark corners. Though I'm not the one to shit his pants or cry and freak out when scared or in the midst of danger, however I was passing my paranoia to those who would piss themselves out of fear.

To calm ourselves down and to keep our heads cool, we passed the peace pipe. Things got peacefull, all was calm and I could hear all of the little insects crawling underground and the soft moans of a woman loosing her virginity a mile away and the blades of grass sliced the wind. Calm, cool, smooth, swell..then......CLANK CLANK CLANKATY MOTHERFOOCKING CLANK!!

Me- WHAT IN THE FUCKS SAKE WAS THAT?!

Mate while laughing uncontrollably- Let go of my hand you homosexual.

Bastard was throwing rocks across the room under our noses while we were mellowed out. The diabetic then blacked out. But that was partly my fault.

Dark Side? well as long as they don't steal anything after I'm done with their bums and norks. Though I have to apologize for the lack of length they're acustomed to.
(The Horizontal Monster Mash Mr. T Pitties Me, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:08, Reply)

Dear pagans...

QUOTE: "One guy thought he was clever (after stupidly staring at us preparing a nice little ritual space) and came up to us saying 'ah, you're those role-player types, aren't you?' My friend just grinned and said "no". The guy boggled and departed rather swiftly."

Dear Pagans,
No one is scared of you. Nor do they hate and wish to persecute you. That pained expression on their face is pity.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:03, Reply)

yrruc dna spihc
P was a Teenage Goth. So was I. We tended to get a bit carried away with the spooky stuff every now and again. I never took it as seriously as he did, mind!

Before I met him, I only knew of him as Dog Fucker. This unfortunate nickname came from a cruel prank in which he was lured out to some woods on the promise that he could be initiated into a Top Sekrit Black Magick Cult. It had to be nipped in the bud when he was convinced to fornicate with a dog to gain acceptance. Opinion is divided when it comes to when exactly he was stopped in his dog hunting tracks...

We had been friends for several months when we met a dodgy older man in a pub. He said he would take us under his wing and teach us the ways of Magick. We readily agreed to this (as you would!). This led to regular meet ups that I'm damn sure our parents would not have approved of. Most of these nights we spent harmlessly, but one night, curiosity got the better of my good friend. He insisted that he be allowed to summon a demon.

The dodgy older man went away, came back with a long list of foreign sounding words, which he gave to P with the instruction to enter the dark, spooky attic and recite them repeatedly until he felt a presence.

We sat outside and listened for about 40 minutes as P solemnly repeated the local Chinese menu backwards. He insisted afterwards that there had been definite demonic interactions.

I have many more stories of this ilk, but I would feel bad about posting them as both P and the dodgy older man of this post are still very close friends of mine!

We tend to just go to the pub these days. And we have better make up.
(axlette, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:00, Reply)

I used to keep chickens...

But then the old rooster died, and his spirit began to haunt the chicken coop.

It was a poultrygeist.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 20:00, Reply)