in South Africa in the 80s
it was illegal to use the phrase 'mix tapes'. You had to call them "Tape Coloureds".
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 18:57, 4 replies)

Many a moon a go
Well, around October 2007, I made my girlfriend a mix tape then transfered it to a CD.

The first track was "Mix Tape" from the musical avenue Q.

You can hear the track here.
( Captain V, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 18:47, Reply)

I made my very own mini mix tape for you all
www.sr.se/P1/src/sing/index.htm?key=ZCS7G7KX
( giant_squid, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 18:38, 8 replies)

Put your hands in the air for the church organ massive
I've only made one in the last ten years. It lives in the car and it's actually a CD (natch). It is played very rarely.

Its sole purpose is so that, when I'm sitting in a traffic jam and a chav in a Corsa draws up alongside with doof-doof-doof-doof coming out of the speakers, I can ram it in the CD player, roll down the windows and roof on my slightly effeminate Citroen convertible (a C3 Pluriel, essentially a 2CV for the 21st century), and put the volume up to maximum.

- Transports de Joie - Messiaen (iTunes linky). Very very heavy music indeed. Very very heavy church organ music, that is.
- Myddyfycys yn Bob Man - MC Mabon (iTunes linky). Happy bouncy Welsh-language rap randomly interpersed with the words "myddyfycys" (not quite pronounced as it looks) and "you son of a bitch".
- Martyn Bennett (mp3 clip). Banging techno. On bagpipes.

There's a bit of the really obscene pre-signing Goldie Lookin Chain on there too, "It's Grim Up North" by the KLF, a lot more organ music, and so on.

What usually happens that the chav puts their windows up - mission accomplished - and mouths the word "weirdo". I can cope with that.

Acknowledgement - I got the idea from a friend who, fed up of seeing chavs drive round and round Cambridge Market Place circa 1992 with doof-doof-doof blaring out, got a tape of Vivaldi's Four Seasons, loaded it into his rather battered old Metro and started doing the same. Very slowly.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 18:15, 4 replies)

.
Did you hear about the black guy who raped a white woman?

yeah it was a mixed RAPE.

hehehe
(Paddy O'Dawes, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 17:32, 4 replies)

someone wrote to me asking for advice
they said "I've just broken up with my girlfriend of 8 years."

I said "that's good, but I'm still not going to recommend you for parole."
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 16:31, Reply)

what do you call it
if someone is into 'scat', and they break up with their partner?

It seems inappropriate to say that they've been dumped.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 16:28, 2 replies)

Everyone knows that a mix tape's not a mix tape
unless it's on an actual tape.

But I say that it's not a mixtape unless you rewind the tape by putting a pencil in one of the holes and whirling it round, because otherwise the batteries on your Walkman will run out.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 16:26, Reply)

have made
a few mix tapes or cd's for friends who've suffered a severe dumping, including songs like "i am the resurrection", "good riddance", "song for the dumped", "how it's gonna be", "makes me wonder", "not ready to make nice", "you'll think of me", "take the long road and walk it", "it's all over but the crying", "go your own way" etc etc. funny how much loud angry music can help, or is that just me?

doing one at the moment for a friend who's just found out her boyfriend is cheating after 7 years, any other suggestions??

also, as everyone else is digressing and i am so hungover that my eyes hurt, i'll bore you with something that happened to me this morning that i thought only ever happened in cartoons. no, i didn't step on a rake, but almost.

after a saints & sinners army party last night (the MALE host was just wearing a red fishnet body stocking and the rest went downhill from there) and a truly shit club in clapham, we crashed home at about 6am. for some random reason my much much taller friend jennifer decided to put the blind up in the kitchen. fuck knows why, but i am not 6' tall and i can't reach to pull it down again. which means i now have a massive victorian sash window looking straight into the kitchen and bedroom windows of the flat across the courtyard.

i stagger up some hours later this morning, can't face getting dressed. where the fuck is dressing gown? ah, there. where the fuck is belt? oh, sod it, everyone's gone home anyway, just wrap it loosely to cover the essentials. drool my way into the kitchen, hair styled by russell brand, every muscle aching. dressing gown is a good move as there are about 10 people having brunch in the flat opposite.

bend down to drinks fridge, retrieve icy cold evian, press it against head, moan with relief. lurch back up, turn away from the fridge, try to walk out of the room... bit of resistance, walk a bit harder... shit shit, am suddenly cold and naked. in front of BIG window full of people in manner of scary dream. only this is real. i scream, you scream, we all scream together...

actually, they looked more horrified than anything else, although i didn't hang around to see the aftershow!

turns out if you shut your unbelted dressing gown in the fridge door and walk away it will unwrap and pool onto the floor behind you... who'd have thought?

edit: just seen the post below. excellent!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 16:15, 10 replies)

The Mix I Made Myself This Morning
I got rejected last night, so I went through my usual deal with it through music way but in the spirit of this QOTW I decided to save the playlist rather than just make it up as I went along so here it is:

Bill's music to get over things by:

It's All Over But The Crying - Garbage
What The Hell Is Love - K's Choice
A Long December - Counting Crows
Special - Garbage
Under The Weather - Feeder
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) - Greenday
Stupid Girl - Garbage
Aeris Theme (Orchestral Version) - Final Fantasy 7 Soundtrack
End Title / The Best Is Yet To Come - Metal Gear Solid Soundtrack
Nice Guys Finish Last - Greenday
As Heaven Is Wide - Garbage
Colorblind - Counting Crows
Leave Me Alone - Natalie Imbruglia
Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
What Can I Do - The Corrs
Every You Every Me - Placebo
Somebody Help Me - Full Blown Rose
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
I Never Loved You Anyway - The Corrs
We Used To Be Friends - The Dandy Warhols
She Caught The Katy - The Blues Brothers
My Favourite Game - The Cardigans
Rest In Peace - Buffy Musical Soundtrack
Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
Save Me - Remy Zero
Dialate - Four Star Mary
Pain - Four Star Mary
Brazen - Skunk Anansie

------------------
Now at about this point I'm tired of feeling Sad, so here the list suddenly changes into some more normal music to try and lift my spirits.
------------------

DJ Lazlow (Intro) - GTA Vice City Soundtrack - "Only sissies cry, real men stand in the rain and listen to this..."
Raining Blood - Slayer
Dangerous Bastard - Love Fist
In The End - Linkin Park
Love Among Freaks - Berserker
It's Been A While - Staind
Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry

------------------
OK, so that didn't work. Time to try getting angry/insulting!
------------------

(515) - Slipknot
Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy
Wait & Bleed - Slipknot
I Ain't Going Out Like That - Cypress Hill
Fuck You And Your Cat - Goldfinger
Sweat Off My Balls - CB4 Soundtrack
Warning - Notorious BIG
Control - Puddle Of Mudd
Lodi Dodi - Snoop Doggy Dogg
I'd Rather Fuck You - NWA

------------------
OK, that didn't work too well either. Let’s try some upbeat tunes instead.
------------------

Makes No Difference - Sum 41
El Capitan - OPM
Emitremmus - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Beat The Boys - LAB
Heaven Is A Halfpipe - OPM
Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
The CFB Song - 20 Minute Crash
Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
Superman - Goldfinger
99 Red Baloons - Goldfinger
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger

So, By This point I'm actually smiling but looking like a complete maniac, bouncing around the house with red rimmed eyes singing at the top of my voice "I'm not sick but I'm not well, and I'm so hot, 'cause I'm in hell" etc.

Length, Media Player says 3.3 hours
(bill, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 16:07, Reply)

Of course mix-tapes get you laid
You just have to make a tape with the following bands:
The Cure
Savage Garden
Oasis
Spandau Ballet
Jimi Hendrix (just in case by the previous few bands she suspects you are gay)
The Smiths
and finally,
a little bit of Joy Division.

Then you go up to her, look really sheepish in a romantic way, and hit her over the head with the tape, knocking her out.
Now you can give her your best!

Try to do this so that there are no witnesses though...
(not in a pub)
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 16:05, Reply)

Why
do people feel the need to express that they are gay on the QOTW so often? This was to do with mix-tapes, yet you somehow managed to post a big random story, culminating in (oh yeah, and im gay) ?

I never had a mix tape. Im straight. That is all.
(steh30, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 15:43, 3 replies)

Because it's never ever going to come up as a real qotw
and because I have had mix tapes made for me, they were lovely but utterly uneventful as no one got into my pants...plus the fact that it'd be a crap qotw as it's so, um, specific:

EUGENICS!

Have you had a brush with the Eugenics movement? Did someone want to breed with you purely so they could perpetuate their own uber-genes? Were they deluded? Or were you the misguided breeder? Have you now in fact got your own small army of evil, superintelligent clones whom you are just about to unleash on the world to cause mayhem, New World Order, and a wailing and a gnashing of teeth?

tell us your story


And so follows the story of how 'I' was cheated out of being born in the 60s as an uber-child.

Many of you I'm sure will have read Aldous Huxley's 1932 novel 'Brave New World'. It depicts a dystopian London of the future where technology has replaced religion and instead of being born, babies are hatched in factory production lines and are bred differently according to social class. Clumsy summary, but then the book is also a little clumsy (blasphemy!) but it can be forgiven - it was 1932, after all. What the book and its legacy hide is an interesting footnote to the wider Huxley family. They were deeply, deeply involved in the Eugenics movement in the UK. With the onset of war and in the postwar period, Eugenics was especially horrifying to the public because of the overtones of Hitler's ubermensch and his systematic extermination of disabled children and inferior races. But the movement carried on quietly, seeking to create a truly superior breeding stock. This, naturally, consisted of the members of the Eugenics society who were the most intelligent and enlightened of society.

Fast forward to the early 60s. My mum has just got her first serious girlfriend - serious to the extent that her girlfriend ran away from her abusive husband with their young daughter to be with her. This was of course, quite distressing for the child, but she soon settled down and they looked forward to having a perfect lesbian relationship based on love and mutual understanding, because only men were ever abusive and they caused all the world's problems (this was the official line of the radical feminist lesbians - it meant that when my mum got trapped in an abusive LESBIAN relationship, no one believed her and she was ostracised). It was therefore, they both agreed, a wonderful time for my mum to have a child of her own. Then the two children could grow up together as sisters (because the child would be a girl, naturally!). And so my mum somehow got mixed up in the Eugenics movement. She didn't believe in it, but it was a good way to find a willing sperm donor in these early days without having to resort to having a one night stand to get pregnant as quite a few did back then. One of the Huxleys was all lined up to be the donor, and my mum would finally get a child.

It was not to be - things started to turn nasty. Outraged that his wife had run off with another woman and taken their daughter, the husband threatened legal action and set a private detective on the couple. He was mainly looking for signs of neglect of the little girl, but he harrassed them, the husband sent threats and they were taken to court. The relationship because increasingly strained, and they eventually broke up. The wife didn't go back to her husband. She remained a liberated lesbian and subsequently was one of the leading lights of the Radical movement.

Fast forward to the 21st Century. A couple of years ago there was a documentary on TV called "Lefties - Angry Wimmin" all about the Radical Feminist movement - and guess what, the former wife, my mum's ex was on it! She began talking about how she chose her surname so that she wouldn't be shackled by her former husband's name.

"Well, my partner and I were hippies at the time..."

My mother indignantly shouts at the telly

"We were NOT!"


(and that ladies and gentlemen, is how I was cheated out of uber status and am now merely a lowly 80's created test tube baby from 100% gay stock - I must take after my father!)

*Edit - because of some cretins, I must point out that this is not me coming out as being gay, because I am a woman, hence if I take after my father (who is gay) it means I LIKE GUYS. Sheesh. Also, the first bit does explain why I've posted a random story. This edit is a little extraneous, but just felt peeved by the "Ooh, why do all you b3tans come out on qotw?! I'm not gay!" End rant.
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 15:04, 1 reply)

It has to be a tape!
A mix tape by its sheer definition surely has to be in 'tape' format? None of this USB pen malarky! As a child of the 70's I have fond memories of my first ever battery operated tape player... playing Shakin'Stevens on a loop, all the way from Essex to Wooky Hole.... oh, how my parents and siblings loved me for that.

Mix Tapes can get you into other people's pants?
What the fuzz?
Can't say I've ever got laid because of one...
(Philishave Muckfuzz is bugger! I missed the Karma QOTW, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 14:33, Reply)

Music Trivia Math Challenge!
or, "How old am I?"

Let's make a basic assumption that most of you have read a few posts from this week and last, and noticed that the most heinous taste and sexual/social faux pas are committed seemingly by adolescent males of a certain age, and that the average age reported by all is actually true.

Then, assume I am male. Which I am. Still. And in line with the basic premise of this QOTW wished to impress a female by agonized-over compilation of mix tape.

Here are the bands thereon, to the best of my recollection and in no particular order:
The Cure, INXS, the Damned, U2, the The, Prince, the Mission, Wall of Voodoo, and I think some more of the Cure probably. There may have been (shame) some Pseudo Echo there also.

Anyone wanting to admit to having worked out how old I am now? (no shame).

Edit: just remembered, may have been some Eurythmics also. Sorry.
(dadadali has hybrid vigour, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 12:58, 8 replies)

Tenuous
.
Well Tourette's did make me mix tape once. It was the Macc Lads plus a local legend called Biff. So, using that as a hook I'll tell you how I met Tourettes and her other half, Davros.

It was a Sunday afternoon a few years ago and I was having a few Sunday afternoon drinks with my then GF. GF was a nice lass when sober but, when pissed (most of the time) she could be downright dangerous. Anyway, so there we were in a wee pub listening to the finger-in-ear folkies play their fiddles and sing incomprehensible songs about how good the old days were.

The place was packed which was usual for a Sunday afternoon but we'd managed to get a seat near the diddly-diddly's as we called them. We were having a good time and many pints were quaffed. Then, a couple of randoms who were sharing our table left and another couple hove into view. With a dog.

Now it's difficult to exactly describe Davros and the Sweary One as they don't fit into any convenient stereotypes. She's kind of Mediterranean with a distinctly mad glint to her eyes and a laugh that can smash glasses. Davros is tall and looks skinny but actually has a beer belly only, for some reason, your mind doesn't register it. He's also the only guy I know who can where a frilly dress shirt without looking either Gay or a cunt.

And so they joined us at our table. GF was well pissed by this time and started slobbering over their dog. The dog's called "Milly" but it's real name is Mildew and is usually referred to as Spakadog by Tourettes. As GF was slobbering over the dog, that kind of broke the ice between us and we were soon chatting away like we'd known each other for ever.And we soon found out that we had something else in common, a love for the sickest, most vile jokes in the world. With us together, it was Sickepedia incarnate.

So the four of us got drunk. Tourettes and Davros told us their First Date story (which is a belter but deserves to be told in it's own QOTW) and we told them how we met. (She was the GF of the best man at my wedding. Don't ask.)

Anyway, after about an hour, GF piped up that they simply must come up to my place up in the sticks and have a night out in my village. We'd do dinner and then we could go out on the piss together. Seeing that we'd only met about an hour a go this invite was a wee bit presumptuous and I could see Tourtettes looking slightly uneasy. But they accepted anyway and mobile numbers and addresses were exchanged and we would meet up the following week. And so the drunken afternoon came to an end.

To cut a long story short (don't want to bore you) Tourettes and Davros eventually made it my place (over two hours late as Tourettes would be late to her own funeral) and we settled thme in with theor sleeping stuff and lashings of beer that they'd kindly brought.

Now what I didn't know at the time (but they told me later) was that Mike had been checking out the living room for things like car-keys in a bowl or any evidence that we were swingers and Tourettes had checked out the fridge for packets of blood or evidence that were vampires.

Yup. After we'd left them the previous week they'd discussed the invite and decided that we were either swingers or vampires.

Still. It all turned out nice in the end and we ended up good mates.

Oh. And Tourettes had a shouty at some bloke in my local. She said:

"Will you keep your fucking eyes off my tits you disgusting pervert!!"


Told he it was a tenuous link to the question...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 10:12, 10 replies)

inappropriate mix tape
When I was at school - many moons ago - It was year 11 I think.. if they still call it that? I dunno..

There was a student teacher that I thought was so hot..
She was pretty short, slim, had jet black hair in a bob, huge blue eyes, really sweet thing about her.. everything was great, her whole demeanor.. the lot - she was called Miss Stubbins


All I cared about was music.. The school had a "recording studio" - none of the teachers knew how to use it, but I did.. So i used to record and mix all the time..
Even tho she was an art teacher, she used to come down to the music bit coz she was pally with the head of music.. who I was also pally with..
I'd always make sure I was mixing down something good whenever she was there.. And we'd often get talking a bit about a few bits and bobs in passing.

Anyways.. the teachers knew about my fondness for young Miss Stubbins - and it got to a point where i'd get really embarrassed around her.. But I took the plunge and decided.. What I gotta do.. Is make her a mixtape - sorta break the ice.. So I mention to her I wanna do it, and she should too.. to share some music -
She agreed - joyfest!

So I went home and went through my CD collection (which was massive btw) and decided that I needed to find a good mix of tunes that represent me, and my shit.. that she might also either like.. or relate to.

I don't remember the tracklist, but, I do remember it contained Aphex, Slayer, Radiohead, Deftones, Brian Eno and Prince.

I gave her the tape, complete with a jazzy tracklisting and notes about the tunes etc.. And she promtly handed over the one she'd done for me.. with less effort, but still, a tape.

Anyways.. This is going on a bit.. Basically, the tape was full of fuckin shit tunes.. and started with a tune by "the longpigs" - who are rubbish. It went on to contain tracks by oasis, super furry animals, embrace, manics etc.. Loads of shit that I stood against quite frankly..
I gotta admit, looking back there was some good stuff on there, like The Jesus and Mary Chain, The Wedding Present etc etc.. But the majority of it was pure gash

It proper turned me off.. I just couldn't see her in the same way after that.. The fuckin Longpigs?
She, on the other hand fuckin loved it.. "i've never heard aphex twin before - I really like THEM" - which annoyed me a bit..
Plus she was feelin the Slayer. Good lass

Fuckin Longpigs tho

I've since tried really hard to find her on Facebook or some shit.. But no luck

Probably married some indie tosser.

Length.. sorry etc - shit at telling stories
(binarymilk Rossz csillag alatt született, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 9:58, Reply)

my Amish friend made me a mixtape.
It took him longer than I expected.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 9:49, Reply)

gran
When I was a nipper my gran gave me money from her pension to buy a Billy Connelly album. I swizzed her and bought some other cut price unknown scottish folk singer comedian shite and bought fags with the rest of the money. The hardest thing was listening to the album together with my gran trying to convince her with hilarious outbursts of lafter that this cunt was even funnier than " The Big Yin" Which he definitley wasnt
Lenght..it was the longest album I ever listened too.
(amy crackpipe firing up Camden, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 9:18, Reply)

a friend made me a mix tape
I listened to it.

Next day I said "Marcel, what is this?"
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 8:42, Reply)

A friend of a friend
had an E180 VHS tape which was compiled entirely from the 5-minute midnight freeviews on The Adult Channel.

Cue lots of 40-something slightly ragged-looking women posing in well-known dogging spots. Playboy Channel, it ain't.
(rogerzilla, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 8:20, Reply)

I made my friend Schrodinger a mix-tape.
I said "did you like it?"

He said "yes and no."
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 7:35, 2 replies)

wow
hours and hours between posts. This is getting more pathetic than originally predicted on page one.

Guess I could post a story that is sort-of on topic.....

I once knew a woman who liked to record all her favorite TV shows on video tapes. Once she had a larger number of episodes, she would then re-record them onto another tape, putting them in order of original air-date, editing out commercials, and editing out parts of the shows that offended her or contained bad language.....and there was a whole lot that offended this fruitcake. High on her list of things to edit out was any kind of sexual reference. You should see what she did to the episode of Seinfeld which was the bet (you know, where they all bet each other who could go the longest without wanking)....I think after her editing, that episode was no more than 3 minutes long.
Now she is taking all the video tapes she mixed (yeah, that was a bit of a reach there) and re-recording them again to DVD.
She does this with crime shows too.....but edits out bad language, sexual references, bloody or gory bits, miscellaneous body parts, or anything else that strikes her as just not right.

nuttier than a fruitcake, I tell you.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sun 10 Feb 2008, 6:16, 8 replies)

Or...
Women Lose Weight by Morcheeba....Wait, no, not that one.
(DeadEvan, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 4:22, Reply)

I was glad to have a mix cd on me at the time...
About four years ago, I walked into the college cafe to see a female friend of mine chatting to a lad. She was in utter hysterics, and I asked what the laughs were about. "God, you gotta hear his song" she replied. Being a fan of comedy music, I was intrigued to find out what this song was.

What followed was a version of Avril Lavigne's Complicated that discussed the matter of constipation, being related to your girlfriend and decapitation. Hopefully, you reading will now realise what this song actually is. It's A Complicated Song by "Weird Al" Yankovic. Nonetheless, I listened to this lad sing his little song. Afterwards, I asked if he had wrote this hilarious masterpiece. He said yes.

Little did he know that in my bag was a mix cd of comedy music that I had done for one of my friends. I asked the person who ran the cafe, a good friend of mine, to put the CD on. Track 6. What followed was Weird Al's version. On realising that the lyrics were exactly the same, the lad blushed and ran out.
(__, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 1:45, 1 reply)

there was a bit of a scandal at my high school
one of the 'popular kids' gave his girlfriend a mix tape, which included Milli Vanilli's then-current hit 'Blame It On the Rain'. He told her that he'd made the tape himself...
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 0:17, Reply)