Originally a reply to TheSnarks post but...
I have dog owners living to my right, and cat owners to my left....and between the fucking barking and the cat shit in my garden Im left wondering why in the name of cosmic blue arse burgers I should put up with the noise and smell because other people want to keep bloody animals in their house?
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:51, 16 replies)

A click
Just for "why in the name of cosmic blue arse burgers"
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:57, closed)

.
Thank you Kindly
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:05, closed)

cat shit in the garden does really piss me off
but apparently it isn't the owner's problem because of the nature of cats.

what makes it worse is that if your garden gets full up of someone else's cat's shit, then you are responsible with environmental health.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:10, closed)

.
I think word is starting to spread amongst the local feline populace, that this particular garden has a man...a man with a hose.....a man with a hose and an aim honed through years of quake, doom, unreal tournament etc to hit a moving target with ease.

I wonder if it will be the owners problem when Tiddles is posted back through their door in pieces?
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:14, closed)

if only I had a hose in my garden, as I have similar skills :-D
I blast a cat with a shotgun-like deluge from a water-filled squeezy ketchup bottle the other day. I was pleased
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:27, closed)

You shouldn't have to put up with it.
The dog never goes out past 9pm just in case he does catch sight of Catsputin and attempts to give him a new face.

Pet owners should keep control of their animals, just as f*ckwits should keep control of their stereos, just as idiots should always use their indoor voices.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:19, closed)

Exactly,
Dont get me wrong, I know there are plenty of responsible pet owners around, its just my bad luck to have the hound of the bloody baskervilles and garfield living next door.
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:21, closed)

Garfield
I would not like to see what that cat produced. I was especially not wish to see it in my garden.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:23, closed)

.
True..You wouldnt :)
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:26, closed)

You will
If you try mowing the lawn after bloody tiddles has left a mouse based coiler of elephantine proportions hidden in the grass
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:45, closed)

Orange Peel
Cats hate the stuff more than life itself - just figure out which bits they like using as a litter tray, or where they come into the garden, and chuck some down, and they'll stay well clear.

Alternatively, a super soaker can do wonders :)
(Mattle, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:28, closed)

I'll have to try that
Fuck knows I've already tried everything else.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:42, closed)

PS
Keeping the grass under about 2 cm seems to do the trick, though it does mean my lawn is now yellow.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:44, closed)

fucking shiteing animals
If one were to release a savage mammal eating carnivore into the British ecology there would be an uproar and prison sentances handed out, we (the taxpayer) are currently spending money on the culling of grey squirrels, american crayfish, mink and other introduced predators...

why then is it ok for people to have a fucking cat!! the cunts!!!!!!

shoot first ask questions later.. dogs should also be shot for shitting in the streets!!

'rant' 'fume' 'venting of splein' etc etc.....
(TROLLING AWAY living under a post ironic bridge, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 17:09, closed)

get yourself one of these:
www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.m-99.co.uk/Air_Guns/Machine_Gun_MINI_MP5/spmmp5.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.m-99.co.uk/Air_Guns/Machine_Gun_MINI_MP5/machine_gun_mini_mp5.html&h=275&w=350&sz=13&tbnid=YPRnRssxrpJjEM:&tbnh=94&tbnw=120&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmp5%2Bbb%2Bgun&usg=__iO2z1xwCaFk3ND0HzZbyhaAaV2Q=&ei=NkXGSu2NBuWhjAev4IU9&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=3&ct=image

worked on the neighbour's yappy dog when it invaded my garden. Not very powerful so it's not going to permanently damage the little fucker.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 19:25, closed)

Now the leaves have started falling and the dogshit is nicely camoflaged
I just know I'm going to get caught out one of these days

Next time I see someone letting their dog shit in my street I'm gout to stuff the shit back up the dog's arse, then stuff the dog up its owner's arse.

Alternatively, I have an air rifle.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 17:32, closed)