A few weeks ago
What I was promised: A night of drinking and good conversation.

What I got: 4 hours of my mates talking about football until I couldent stand another second and went home to play dead space 2 on the x box.

God I hate football.
(Mong goose, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 8:36, 45 replies)

it's the talking about football that I really hate
I concluded recently that I find it more boring than cricket.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:03, closed)

At least football
doesn't have some bizarre convoluted scoring system.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:36, closed)

Football matches usually go like this.
Boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, shoot, miss.
Boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, shoot, miss.
Boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, boot, shoot, miss.

For 90 minutes. At least in rugby there's some excitement and variation.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 20:29, closed)

You know, it is actually OK for people who like football
to talk about football.


You need to make friends with people who are interested in the same things as you, or be more tolerant of your current friends interests.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:07, closed)

talking about any subject for 4 hours would be boring
I'm massively enthusiastic about some things, so are my mates. Doesn't mean we talk about them non-stop.

It's particularly bad when it's football because 90% of the conversation is speculation or posturing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:10, closed)

Try a week of talking about the same subject then.
*looks around*


...oh...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:11, closed)

I agree.
The crux of the conversation is as follows:

"Did you watch the match last night?"

"Yes/No."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, particularly that bit/No the team I supported lost."

All the rest is just so much chest-beating blow-hard nonsense spoken by neaderthals who shouldn't have a vote.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:22, closed)

Seems to me
That you can apply that logic to anything.

"Did you enjoy that book?"

"Yes I like the part with the plot/No I didn't like the part with the plot"

Also I disagree with the fact that the majority of football conversation is chest-beating nonsense. I love the game but am repeatedly pigeon holed with those racist violent pricks.
(morbi5, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:35, closed)

yes, but with most subjects that is where the conversation ends
I don't agree with the chest-beating bit, a bunch of my good friends love football and none of them are that type, but you can't deny that the majority of the conversation is speculation.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:38, closed)

It depends, half speculation, half analysis (if it can indeed be called that sometimes). The latter is more interesting and usually takes place during the match.

In fairness, I can see why it gets on peoples tits, especially on nights when its not actually being played which is when the endless speculation is, I hated football till I was about 16 and I understand the pain.
(morbi5, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:43, closed)

you are correct about the analysis, which isn't so bad
I don't mind watching football, occasionally, but I think the thing is none of my family like it at all, and as such have no vested interest as someone who supports a team does.

I find the same with most sports though. I can watch them for displays of skill, but really don't care who wins.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:47, closed)

Rubbish.
Football is all about chest-beating. That's it's purpose - so that one bunch of monkeys can go "Ner ner ner our team's better than your team!" to another bunch of monkeys.

Contrary to what the papers tell you, it's not about haircuts.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:00, closed)

^

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:19, closed)

Nope football is fucking boring.

(waxdart hello., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:17, closed)

Bet they talked about you as soon as you left.

you might like this from links
b3ta.com/links/Bees_1_0_Football
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:12, closed)

I have a similar problem
The conversation in my office is dominated by Glee, The Only Way is Essex and other ratings big-hitters.

I don't have a TV license (I have a TV, but reception is rubbish where I live. The internet provides, and a PS3 fills the gaps), so this is even more dull to me than to most.

I wish I could walk out of work when I had had enough of the conversation, and go home and play Red Dead Redemption. At least they pay me to be here, I guess.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:13, closed)

Work & Pals
As others have mentioned; if your mates / workmates bore the shit out of you, change them!

Some mates you're stuck with, but you'll be much happier I'm sure
( elgordo, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:32, closed)

True
I will give some consideration to how much I need the money this weekend. Perhaps it is time for a change.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:49, closed)

BBC
British = pay for it!!!

Hope they find you and use sharp gavels.
(Suck it and Sea, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 22:43, closed)

Bit of an overreaction?
He didn't even say he watched the TV!
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 10:41, closed)

Ok, this got a bigger response then expected.

To aswer scrape, I do know it's ok for people who like football to talk about football, I accept that most of my mates like football and dont mind them chatting about it. They do, however, have outer interests that we do share, and we talk about that and have a good time.

I did expect football talk, just not in that volume.

Usually conversation has a flow, if we talk about videogames it would flow to something like films, then books, then childhood and so on, football never seems to change.

At least big brother is no longer on television so I don't need to listen to chat about that!
(Mong goose, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:48, closed)

I've had
the off-side rule explained to me too many times, and I still have no idea what it is. This becomes a bit of a predicament at the pub when someone turns to me and asks/tells/nearly shouts "that was well off-side innit".
My first thought being "oh, bollocks."
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:49, closed)

I wouldn't worry.
The fact that he is asking you means he himself doesn't know...or he's just taken a shine to you and is trying to bond in that manly, shirt swapping, arse patting, showering together, taking a picture of your cock in another passed out mans mouth but it's not gay because it's just a joke that you don't understand cause your not 'one of the lads', way.
(Bushcricket, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:58, closed)

I was the same until my brother explained it thusly:
"It's there to stop goal hogging. If you had a player that spent the whole match loitering, alone, around the opposition goal and waiting for a long pass, it would be shit and a little gay. So they declare such players to be 'offside'. You cannot pass to them, for they are offside cunts. If the ball is passed to them, the whistle goes.

The moment an opposition player (besides the keeper) gets between the hogger and the goal, said hogger is no longer offside and the ball can be passed to him again."

Clear? Probably not. Ahh well.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:39, closed)

FINALLY
I get it. Cheers! It was probably everyone else talking in "Footy technical" terms.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:33, closed)

me too now

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:59, closed)

Glad to be of service
My brother's good at explaining stuff like that. Taught me to fish, shoot, control a skidding car etc.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 14:13, closed)

I wish
it were actually that simple.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 15:17, closed)

I found that with that basic principle understood
the wikipedia article made a lot more sense, and cleared up all the details.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 15:27, closed)

So what you're saying is...
Allies can't camp the Axis flag room and then sneak in when the defender is respawning, unless there's another Axis player nearer the entrance?
(gordonjcp, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 16:05, closed)

Precisely.
Also, no rockets.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 16:40, closed)

Football
The fact that football is bollocks in and of itself is not even enough to make conversations with football fans intolerable. You have to have followed football for at least ten years to have any idea what they're talking about, because they'll spend thirty seconds discussing the current match and three hours discussing the form of such-and-such a player in the Blah-Blah Derby in 2003 and how he's the spiritual successor to Thingummy, who reached his peak during the crucial win in the Whatsit Cup Final 1994, until you just want to defenestrate yourself onto the spiked railings outside.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:01, closed)

Excellent use of 'defenestrate'.
Have a cookie.
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:51, closed)

Sports annoy me too
I get the football problem as well, although thankfully most of my mates hate it too.

However, the sport that gets my goat is ROWING. Anyone who rows immediately starts talking about that and nothing else, comparing times, stroke rates, muscle sizes, that time they almost fell in, all in some sort of barely-disguised one-upmanship bragging match. Not being a fan, I can appreciate there are at least some strategies and teamwork to football/rugby/ball-in-goal sports, but going from point A to point B in a boat faster than another person/team in another boat in mind-numbing synchrony for hours? The subsequent conversations match the depth of the sport.
(zeppelin boy, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:17, closed)

Cos there is no team work in rowing at all, obviously.
You know, it's not people that hate sports that piss me off. That's fine, I understand, I'm not too keen on golf, myself, just don't see the point. But each to their own.

It's people that piss all over people who do like sports. They can fuck off. I'm not going to come round your house and tell you you are a moron/thug/obese twat because you like soap operas/punk music/fucking about on your arse playing with photoshop all day.

Whatever happened to live and let live for fucks sake?


Edit: Sorry Zeppelin Boy, not actually directed at you personally.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:28, closed)

That's the difference, though.
The vast majority of football fans have never played competitive football in their lives, and are thus not familiar with the advanced mechanics of the game, the training strategies or the physical demands it puts on the players. Rowing fans, on the other hand, are almost invariably ex-rowers; as an ex-rower myself, whenever my team-mates and I get together to watch the Boat Race, we inevitably end up talking about ergs and split times and feathering blades and stroke rates and pushes and all the rest of it. I've never had a conversation about rowing with someone who's never been in an eights boat.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:35, closed)

Again with the generalisations
1) You'd be surprised how many football fans have played football. Or how many rowing fans have never rowed, for that matter.

2) And anyway, not having done something precludes you from talking about it and having an opinion does it?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:40, closed)

Not at all.
It's what the internet was invented for. Like everyone else, I just love to hold opinions on things I know nothing about. This is generally in regards to music and films, and I like to make condescending, disparaging remarks about bands or fims I don't approve of, despite never having heard or seen the art being discussed.

For example, try telling a fantatic you've just seen the remake of The Wicker Man - they'll tell you it's shit, whether or not they've seen it.

This attitude is prevalent across the board - politics, food, sport - you name it, enthusiasts will have an opinion on it, whether or not they're well-versed in the point under discussion.

It's fun - especially when engaging the overly-sincere or worthy.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:50, closed)

I call bullshit
The internet was not invented for that. It was invented so the shamed could wank without talking to a shopkeeper.

The rest is just happy accident.

Wait..what was your point again?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:54, closed)

what point?
I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:00, closed)

Nothing to see here.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:05, closed)

I'd noticed you do this a lot.

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:57, closed)

Me and ...
everyone else in the whole world.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:59, closed)

Ever!

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:11, closed)

If so, you'll have a laugh a minute on Wordpress .

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 20:40, closed)