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This is a question Not having sex

Our pal Freddie Woo says: Climbing into the back seat of the car, she sat on a fortnight-old bag of food shopping I had completely forgotten about. The stench of a bag of bean sprouts popping open is a real passion-killer, I can tell you for nothing. Tell us about the shag you didn't have because you blew it.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 22 May 2014, 14:01)
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One way to guarantee not having any sex...
is to take your intended to a cheap hotel miles away in the middle of Germany. I won't bore you with the details other than the name of the hotel so you can look for yourself! To cut a long story short... Ibis in Mayen South.
(I helped save b3ta! browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 27 May 2014, 18:18, 18 replies)
Genuine Train LOLs.
Fellow commuters now think I'm weird (er).
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 27 May 2014, 18:44, closed)
^ easily amused

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 27 May 2014, 20:16, closed)
Oh god.
I BET YOU WEAR A SIMPSONS TIE AND SOCKS AND A TOM BAKER SCARF IN THE WINTER AND A TOWEL ON THAT DOUGLAS ADAMS THING DAY AND NO TROUSERS ON THAT OTHER DAY AND A BADGE SAYING "IT DOESN'T HELP TO BE MENTAL BUT I WORK HERE" AND YOU ARE ONE WEIRD MOTHERFUCKING WEIRDO LOL EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI
(SlantedScience, Thu 29 May 2014, 3:15, closed)
you are a terrible person

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 27 May 2014, 19:42, closed)
Clicked.
But, you really need to flesh out the back-story. Really build it up so as to increase the anticipation and expectation of what is inevitably sure to come.
Then, just as the reader is about to walk away in disgust - BAM!
Right in the pisser!
(mankwhistle, Tue 27 May 2014, 20:35, closed)
oh well played.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 27 May 2014, 21:34, closed)
Well played.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 May 2014, 21:43, closed)
You horror

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 27 May 2014, 22:15, closed)
I have clicked
I will now, of course, have to hunt you down.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 27 May 2014, 22:52, closed)
Hold still while I throw bratwurst at you.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Wed 28 May 2014, 1:34, closed)
PHWOAR

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 28 May 2014, 1:54, closed)
Git.
*enclickens*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 28 May 2014, 7:53, closed)
Ha ha
Have a click
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Wed 28 May 2014, 9:08, closed)
I thought it was an Albert Marshmallow parody with the mention of Ibis Hotels and then BAM,
I got it. Rather like that time in the bath, long story.
(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 28 May 2014, 9:25, closed)
Nicely done :D

(I helped save b3ta! Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 28 May 2014, 13:03, closed)
Can I be the dissenting voice, and point out that this is shit?
Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 28 May 2014, 13:19, closed)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:17, closed)
Holiday Inn's internal directory utilises a five letter code (3 letters for country, 2 for town).
Minden in Germany's entry was notable.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Wed 28 May 2014, 15:12, closed)

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