I've just dreamed of my perfect pub, it was amazing, so cool. Or I donno if perfect pub, but a really really cool pub...... I WANT TO MAKE IT REAL.
The place is decked out in faux thearatical victorian fassion, with loads of little nooks'n'cranies. And there are hidden buttons everywhere that do things, like...

- You pull a tiny little pin out of a wall, and a trap-door behind you open ups and your chair moves backwards and you're in a hexagonal chamber (in your chair), there is a black'n'white TV on the top that shows something like a 15 seconds of [someone winnning a gameshow, an old classic movie, yourself in the chamber, someone in another chamber etc]the hexigan-room then turns around 180 degrees, and then the chair lifts up and it slides you outside the pub thinking 'wtf'.

- Sometimes a hidden button on a table will make a little notepad and pencil fall from behind a pannel, and the notepad have an emotion and a emoticon face on it. The idea being that you think up a character for a book/film and its a sovineeer.

- Sometimes a button will make a one-way-mirror defrost so you can see the kitchens, except projected onto it is a murder scene.

- There were loads and loads of hidden buttons, pins-to-pull, weight-thinggys. I can't remember them all.

Think of it as a fun-house, with a faux-victorian theme, designed to get the imagination going with a SAW/Adam's Family like element to it. Only with booze. SOMEONE MAKE THIS PUB.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 May 2013, 7:09, 9 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck this shit, I'm back from Peterborough.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 26 May 2013, 19:10, 13 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck this shit, I'm off to Peterborough.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 26 May 2013, 9:35, 6 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck this shit, I'm back from Portugaul.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 25 May 2013, 21:24, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

GOOD MORNING YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
Today's my last day of work until the 6th of June. What joy is in your life on this, most wonderful of days?

Alt: suck a dick or something
( Theoban What of it, Sat 25 May 2013, 9:37, 32 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

who remembers rob brydons annually retentive?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 24 May 2013, 22:28, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Aigh?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 May 2013, 18:23, 16 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You want to know who's a cunt? That Lee 'Riggers' Rigby.
What a fucking cunt.

Who else is a cunt?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 13:38, 257 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sorry that I had to do that, but Theoban was being too upsetting.
How have the Irish upset you today?

Alt: Why do you care if something gets deleted off the internet?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 12:34, 107 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well it’s my wife’s birthday on Monday
After a 2 week wait she finally got to see the dentist yesterday, after an X-ray, they told her that the pain seems to be from an infection of the nerve; as such they have put her on a course of antibiotics
The full course lasts a week and she cannot drink alcohol during this time*
I have bought her a selection of Bols Including Peach Schnapps, Crème de cacao, Maraschino, Sloe gin and two lucky dip ones with a view to try my hand at making cocktails this weekend.
When did you last buy a present and got it wrong?

Alt: looks like it’s going to be a long Friday at this rate, I’m actually looking forward to my meeting this afternoon I may hold it over a pub lunch, what can you get away with at work?

Alt:alt: What you got on this weekend?

*Both the dentist and the chemist strongly warned that alcohol intake could end up with hospitalisation
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:05, 215 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'd like a moment of your time, please.
Today, internet 'character', 'gamer', microbrewer and micropenis owner, King of the Redlands, MK Ultra, the hardest working man in showbusiness, Psychochomp is 30 years old*.

Post your Chompy-related good wishes and congratulations here.
Share your memories of the man like Chomp-Dogg and how he has touched your life. Or your missus.

*I think this is right
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 8:24, 86 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Tell me about your vegetable woes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 May 2013, 7:20, 33 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

now that we are all certain that our monty is definitely not upset and that frank
is definitely missing the good old days
can we move on to discuss what we had/are having for our dinner? i did pasta.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 23 May 2013, 20:58, 94 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

seriously though
isn't b3ta just a pale travesty of what it once was and aren't you just breathing life into the corpse?
(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 19:32, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

(◉‿◉)
(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 19:31, Reply)

what's the weather like where you are?

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 19:31, Reply)

Please try to grow up at some point. You act like stupid kids.

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 19:29, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

FISRT hahaha like on qotw

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 19:29, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

I just stood on one leg for like AGES

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 19:27, Reply)

what do you suppose you'll be having for dinner this time next week

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 19:25, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

when was the last time you weren't upset?

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 18:58, 33 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It appears my desire to be a passenger in one of the remaining two seater Spitfires will remain unfulfilled.
I was going to treat myself for my 40th, but apparently none are currently insured to take civilian passengers. Gutted.

When did you last treat yourself?*

*apart from the wank you had this morning in the shower.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 May 2013, 18:30, 25 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

UMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNGUMNG

(_Battered_, Thu 23 May 2013, 17:12, 14 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

you know when you have a shave but you miss a bit and it's kind of annoying, what's all that about eh

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 16:47, 10 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well I have asked the lovely stuj for good weather this weekend
But I think I need to invest in a new BBQ
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/features/the-10-best-barbecues-8619798.html
I would build my own if I had the room, any tips or advice on BBQ’s?

Alt: what’s the best thing to cook on a BBQ?

Alt:alt: Share something that happened to you at a BBQ
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:32, 167 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Money Saving Expert
Poor old AA's got himself into deep shit with an eye-watering £7.80 of debt. Help him out with some handy hints on how to drag himself back from the precipice of payday loans, East End leg-breakers and ultimately debtors' prison and the hangman's noose. Pass on your best scrimping tips - and also advise against certain measures which just don't work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:39, 153 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

BOOM!
My holidays have been OK-ed so I'm heading to the delights of Centerparcs in Penrith. I've fixed a problem that was hanging round like a bad smell for 4 months and I've had red leicester buns and BACON Discos. My old shitty wardrobes that I was given for free sold for £60 on eBay and my parents bought me some paint

When did life get so fucking good for you?

Alt:
BAD for you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:06, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

TV link
m.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/may/22/channel-4-french-drama-subtitled

What do you think of subtitled dramas? I like them. Although Borgen was a pain in the arse to watch because if you turned away from the screen for a second you'd miss loads.

I linked this because of this quote ""It used to be that people would say they don't watch TV but they love The Wire or the West Wing.Now it's all about the Swedish Wallander, the Bridge and Borgen. It's the new snobbery for people who claim they don't watch television."

Alt: Lunch
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 11:36, 119 replies, latest was 12 years ago)