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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Money Saving ExpertPoor old AA's got himself into deep shit with an eye-watering £7.80 of debt. Help him out with some handy hints on how to drag himself back from the precipice of payday loans, East End leg-breakers and ultimately debtors' prison and the hangman's noose. Pass on your best scrimping tips - and also advise against certain measures which just don't work.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:39,
153 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Don't buy crackers from the bargain shelf.They're all broken :o(
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
Don't waste money on prophylacticsbe a nerdy fat internet shut in and never get laid.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
They just launched the ultimate birth control thing a couple of days ago.It's called the 'Ex Box' or something?
Guaranteed, no chance of impregnating a woman ever.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:44,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/cunningplans/post1667121
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:44,
Reply)
I *think* he might know that wheeze already(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:45,
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Is this like one of them advice things for a friend of a friend thingsI've got your number Mr Boyce
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:46,
Reply)
Like when you tell your mum you're just looking after that bag of jazzmags 'for a friend'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:46,
Reply)
EGGSACTLY THAT(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:49,
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b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1972707
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:50,
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Or hiding that child's mutilated body in your loft and having nightly sex with it 'for a friend'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
used teabags can be used as refreshing sanitary towelsjust wring out a couple of old earl grey and stick them in your gusset
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:47,
Reply)
even easiertake whole newspaper, fold double, trace round sanitary towel, cut round through all layers, sellotape to gusset.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
I'm sure he could even find used ones for free, and carefully handwash them back to an acceptable state(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
Bit of bleach, they come up like new(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:55,
Reply)
and just how much is bleach?No wonder you are skint
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:56,
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Nah I get for free from the bogs of pubs - that and so much more besides(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
and once they're done they pop a pound coin in and everyone is happy(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:02,
Reply)
Become a rent boy and you might be able to pay more that just your rent
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:50,
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You're even more of a deviant than I'd thought.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1946018
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
He ought to consolidate all his problems into one easy-to-manage package.Can I recommend heroin?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:52,
Reply)
Come on, Tangers. This is serious.
We are talking about around £900!
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Oh that's easy, he just needs to put aside a tenner a dayFor a nice bag of brown.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:55,
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He should kill himself.That way he won't need to spend money on food, rent, clothes, gadgets, prostitutes, cigarettes or anything else.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
It's like he don't even care about AA(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:05,
Reply)
Large dog shits squashed and reshaped make convincing beefburgers(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
Getting bored of dog shit burgers?Try cat shit instead for a bit of variety.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:55,
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We need more finanical details of his current repayments(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:55,
Reply)
He's got an arranged overdraft and a single credit card.THE FEES ARE HOLDING HIM DOWN!
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:57, Reply)
If only you could balance transfer a credit card to a 0% oneor even take out a £1,000 loan over 2 years
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
That's what I'd do. £1,200 would be 50 quid a month. Cancel the ability to go overdrawn and give the card to your Mam.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:59, Reply)
You mean he should bury it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:00,
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is his mum a womble?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:04,
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If 'womble' is another word for 'corpse' then yes, yes she is.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:11,
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join the french foreign legion you say?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:04,
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You dont fucking need one!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:06,
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Everything was in my name at my old houseMeaning that every missed payment hit me, and helping to completely bugger my credit rating. Otherwise, I'd go for something like this.
That, plus a gym lying to me (said I had a 2 month cooling off period, contract only offered one, should have read it properly), means that most places won't look at me.
Aware that this could have all been avoided in advance by my not being a spastic.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:18,
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Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.Also, an empty cigar tube with a couple of wasps in makes an inexpensive vibrator.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Don't "waste" money going on a date. Get your Mum to dress up in her sauciest knicks and make your Dad watch while you pole her little pink sixpence.
Hey presto!
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)
hahahaWho amongst us can honestly say they've not done this?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:04,
Reply)
There are 2 London Bashes this weekend and some of you fuckers are signed up for them. (, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Least difficult of all the counties(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:07,
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Instead of throwing out vegetable peels, why not make them into a nourishing soup your vegan friends will ADORE(
Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:00,
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When shall I come over?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:01,
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Seriously man you're welcome any timeI know up to and including one vegetarian recipe
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Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:01,
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Cool.I'll bring Trivial Pursuit.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:03,
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have you ever tried cooked potato?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:05,
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I did once but the potato was accidentally a sausage and then oh no :((
Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:05,
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Instead of chucking out the afterbirth, take it home and dry it out to make a dog toy your hound will ADORE(
Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:01,
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Instead of using bum paper, simply steal post-its from work and use them instead. The sticky material will hoover up your bum eggs in a manner you will ADORE(
Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:03,
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You're the only one taking this seriously(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:04,
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I dunno why they all hate AAI just want to see people out of debt
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Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:05,
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AND YET YOU SPEAK OF LONDON B4SHES AND NOT OF AIDHeartless, just heartless
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Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:08,
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I am tutting like a demon here(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:09,
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One of the bashes is a benefit gig for AA.There's even a bring and buy sale.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:10,
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ANOTHER SECRET BRING AND BUY SALE I'M NOT INVITED TO(
Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:11,
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It's not personal T'ban, it's just no one ever wants to buy any of your interestingly shaped potatoes.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:13,
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DIS BE A P'TATO DAT BE SHAPED LIKE JESUSagh I can't even do oirish in text, fuck's sake
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Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:15,
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It's no joking matter yet these wags insist on mockery(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:07,
Reply)
What's the best way to buy a car.
I want a Diesel Focus Estate, but the dealerships are too expensive. Where do I get decent used cars from?
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)
I've just looked on the website, it appears I don't have to subscribe to be able to search for things.(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
How do you do that?Do I have to book the AA to come and look at it?
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Yep. They charge more if you are not a member. Always a good idea to be a member if you have the cash. You have kids right? Membership is the person, not the car.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Is that how he is supplementing his income to pay off his debts?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:12,
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one of my dad's mates runs a really good dealershipbut it's up north. does it have to be local?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:07,
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i'm guessing notbut i can ask. that and if he has any focuses in at the moment.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:12,
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Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I'd buy an vehicle I haven't seen, even if he's your dads mate and he's well kosher and shit.(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:13, Reply)
well that's why i asked if it had to be localonly a total fuckwit would do that.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:17,
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So your question was merely a clever ruse to see if I would out myself as a total fuckwit?(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:20, Reply)
you've got dad's mate's dealership spunk written all over your face. (, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
"Very low mingage"(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
steal a part a day(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:08,
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Get a copy of 'Fascinating Monthy'The car ads are usually just after the shaving section.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:08,
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IF NOT, I SHOULD BE - BECAUSE I'M A RIGHT IDIOT!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:11,
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^ HAHAH - *YOU'RE* ACTUALLY THE IDIOT!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:14,
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If only it were that easyDealership-expensive, but can go back if it goes wrong.
Everything else, buyer beware, and take a friend in the know with you if you aren't.
Ex-motability cars are good value if you can find one, although they tend to be base spec.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:10, Reply)
This is the problem. I know fuck all about carsand I don't know anyone who does. So I'm really loathe to go somewhere I can't take the car back and shout at someone if it breaks down.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Oh Kroney does.But he's rather shy when it comes to talking about it. Not for Kroney the interminable posts about tyre brands and steering wheel types. No no - he's more the taciturn, brooding French type.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:17,
Reply)
Try Arnold Clark websitedo ex-fleet and motability etc, will also get cars from other branches delivered to your local one iirc.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:26, Reply)
1) The AA do a car check for about £80 full ins and outs2) I answered this in the previous thread cockweasle
3) autotrader is your friend
4) lots of dirty diesel focuses on there from a few hundred quid
5) lists get fucking annoying after a while
6) set your budget and get the lowest mileage car you can
7) with reference to 6 age isn't as important
8) if it looks poorly taken care of avoid
9) don't buy a car in the rain as the water makes them look shiny
10) lists are still fucking annoying
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Durr your parents buy cars for youThat's how it works right?
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Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:11,
Reply)
I let my cock dangle low and stick on a red mopHappy now?
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Theoban What of it, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:17,
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i had to buy my own carbloody selfish dad
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:15,
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Motor auctions. If you can find out where your local police l/bailiffs auction off impounded cars, and when, you can get a fucking bargain.
Also, take someone who knows cars, most motor auctions give you some time to take the car out and still return it with no charge. My local one gives you an hour. Got my brother a proper bargain.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 14:14,
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Fuck(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:15,
Reply)
Look at ex-forces vehicle auctions Not only will they be low millage but will have full service history and have a wide range of ex-police/fire/hospital and military veicles and also they normally go very cheap.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:15,
Reply)
There's one going in Woolwich(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
Typical lying northerner FFS(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:19,
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Course it has.Yeah I've got 4' of snow and a gold rainbow here.
Oh it's stopped now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:33,
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Just been accepted to run the Great North RunTime for some training I think
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:22,
Reply)
You could team up with Battered if he is still doing it(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:24,
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Not any more, I dont think(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
Pay attentionHe's been working on a long-winded lie about 'breaking his foot' for ages now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
Well I think we have managed to help out AA hereCOME AND JOIN MY BRAND NEW SHINEY THREAD
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:33,
Reply)
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