I wasn't paying attention this morning and got on the wrong bus
when has your lack of attention to detail got you into trouble? Or are you super organised and on top of everything at all times?

alt: tell us about your collection of "comedy" t-shirts

altalt: Decent manly salad recipes for this hot weather please
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:02, 101 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

How do you stay calm when someone has pissed you off?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 14:46, 137 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Have you ever punched a horse in the face as hard as you can?
Alt: did Monty (blessings of the prophet be upon him) ever tell you about The Treworgey Tree Fayre of 1989?
( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 13:00, 156 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Bacon amd cheese on toast.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:59, 12 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hi I'm new
Can someone tell me how I can get hold of my very own 'step' hammer? I have heard a lot about them and would like one of my own. I can't see anything in the FAQ about it, and help would be appreciated!

Cheers.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:24, 179 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Are you a QOTWer?
Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then you, gentle poster, are a fucking tosser.
( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 10:05, 120 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So my surprise trip to London, turns out it was a surprise trip to Florence.
Which is nice. What was the last surprise you got/gave? My mum loves surprises by the way.

Alt: Wednesday? Midweek misery, or home straight?

Altalt : chicken or fish?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jul 2013, 7:19, 169 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So why do some foods taste better when they get cooked for a second time?
Curry
Lasagne
Chilli con carne

Not had a recipe thread for a bit.

Suggest some new things.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 19:37, 128 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hahahahaha yeah monty hahahaha

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 18:52, Reply)

Desparate attempt at a post-5pm thread:
I'm taking my penny farthing along to this in a bit: lcc.org.uk/articles/lcc-organises-second-protest-ride-after-third-cyclist-killed-in-three-weeks-on-street-without-dedicated-space-for-cycling
Leaving aside the knee-jerk hatred for cyclists, do you recon this kind of protest does any good? I have my doubts but what the hell it's local.

Alt: is this place full of placids? it seems to dies at 5 o'clock, actually more like 4:30, does any one actually work?

AltAlt: post your favourite memory of Monty, poor dead Monty.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 16 Jul 2013, 17:10, 94 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Monty has been stepped.
Reason unknown. According to the text he's just sent me.

Welcome to the club Boyce!
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 13:41, 176 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've had an interview, tell me your interview horror stories. Are you good under pressure or do you mumble and stare at your shoes?
alt: a parcel has arrived at reception for me, I have no idea what it might be, INTERNET SHOPPING WOES!?!

altalt: Harter's mum
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 11:38, 173 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

so more surgeons are having their stats published
would you be concerned if your proposed surgeon had a higher death rate, or would you want more research/factors than a sensationalist daily mail graph?

alt: do you do your research when you buy anything, or do you leap right on in there and buy it because it looks good/costs the right amount?

altalt: i see some poor sod has been bitten in half by a shark, just a few metres from the beach. not a good way to go. do what you want with this.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 10:19, 143 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hodor

(how long does it take to delete an account anyway? Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail F, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 9:18, 55 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Don't use words you have to explain..
While driving with my 13 year old daughter, we heard an advert on the radio inviting listeners to call in for a chance to win tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. My daughter (bless her) made retching sounds at the idea. I agreed that the Beeb was a wanker. As we live in Canada, daughter didn't know what that was and asked me. Reluctantly, I explained the meaning of the word. She exclaimed "Daddy, you're HORRIBLE! - but he probably does!".
(Smudge the Demon, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 2:06, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 23:02, Reply)

Thread killer like a gorilla, maybe perhaps sold me a guerilla y'all
Soz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 21:02, 45 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Apparently AlfonsoBongo69 is a sexual deviant with an unhealthy interest in 4 year old thai boys.
Edit: he rapes them you know.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 18:45, 116 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Plus size models.
Making great leaps in sexual and body acceptance and female empowerment or encouraging obesity? You tell me.

Alt; YM. fat or thin?

Altalt: I dunno. Politics or food
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 15 Jul 2013, 16:46, 80 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Ain't had a music thread in a while.
My latest earworm is Alice Russell, nice bit of R&B/Soul/Funk, really good for this weather.

www.youtube.com/user/alicerussellrocks?feature=watch

Include some YouTube links in your recomendations please.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 12:25, 98 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Are you a risk taker or a the sensible type?
Would you jump off the cliff into the sea first or cower while you waited to see if it was safe? Do you gamble or invest your money or leave it languishing in a low rate savings account?

alt: What unusual attraction do you like, that others may not know about?

altalt: really?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 11:18, 65 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Moving on...
So people have come and gone from this site and it all seems fairly quiet.
Do you think, circumstances allowing, you will continue to post here or do you foresee a time when you will realise that you are a middle aged man who really ought to grow up a bit?

Alt: What are you too old for?
Altalt: What do you think you are still too young for?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 11:17, 17 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning all
Good weekend? Do tell.

What is going on in the week ahead? My daughter is five today

Alt: what the fuck is it with kids today and stabbing each other?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 7:04, 82 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck that shit, it's Sunday, it's glorious out and the cricket's on.
Go outside or sutin.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 14 Jul 2013, 11:16, 14 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's a lovely sunny day, likely to stay that way too!
There's loads of events on and we have the weather to actually enjoy them. So, gentle* B3TANs, what are your plans? Will you be dancing round a maypole? Watching dog displays? Having your car vandalised by pikeys?
Fill us all in.
Alt: Best way to stop your nads (shaven to a glisten) sticking to your thigh?

*Meant in the maggoty sense, clearly
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 9:26, 22 replies, latest was 12 years ago)