It appears that Jason will be out of a job soon.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-31616523

What do you think people here should do for a living, based on the fleeting assumptions over their abilities and personalities that you have gathered online?

Alt: Holiday plans
Altalt: tits
( Muns, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 16:04, 6 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

alright
If you had to have sex with a member of Five, which one would it be?

You can't say Hitler.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 13:20, 68 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Love this
www.lbc.co.uk/the-perfect-way-to-deal-with-cold-callers-105468

When a cold-caller calls, say "Hello, I'm DCI Watson with the Enfield Special Investigations Unit, can I have your name and number? We're investigating a murder at this residence and wish to follow up this line of enqiruery; when was the last time you were in contact with Gonz?.... The event in question happened approxmatly 36 hours ago, which is plenty of time to return to New Deli".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 12:34, 52 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

it's the Brit awards tonight.
I may watch it as they've finally got rid of James Corden as a host. what a horrid cunt he is.
Lineup is a bit drab. Madge is having a go but apart from that it's a sea of beige with the likes of Sam Smith and Ed Sheeran.
Where's all the fun, eh? Where's the shameless pop acts and Jarvis getting his arse out?
Can you believe it's 18 years since that iconic Spice Girl performance and Geris tits falling out?
What are YOU doing tonight?
what's been your fave nip slip?
what where you up to 18 years ago?

BYE!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 11:57, 52 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Trying new things
I spied upon some sourdough bread in Sainsburys last night and realised I'd never eaten it. This has now been rectified. Are you a trier of new things or a "I won't like that" type of mong?

Last new thing you tried? (YM optional)

Alt:
Disasters on the way home
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:42, 117 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Anyone ever met a witch?
This is possibly the biggest load of old tosh I've read in a long time.

www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/24/witch-symbol-feminist-power-azealia-banks

alt: is it too early to call lunch?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:41, 4 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

BUMHOLES

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 8:17, 11 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Microsoft pop ups
When you search for something in either Word or Excel there is a pop up message "Microsoft Excel/Word cannot find the data you're searching for'. Is there a way to change it to 'Microsoft Excel/Word cannot find the droids you're looking for'?
Every time I get that message I want so badly to read that.
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 4:18, 16 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

up yer bum

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 24 Feb 2015, 17:45, 122 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

So work extending the sportsgaff starts on Monday
What traumatic events are you looking forward to?

Terrible fast food? I've just "enjoyed" a Greggs steak and cheese roll, which is as bad as it sounds

Alt:
....and thats when it all went wrong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Feb 2015, 13:32, 175 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

In before Boyce deletes that thread.
Worrying news for Dozer here : www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-31588671

What's worrying news for you?

Alt : the album THIS features on is 20 years old. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZJTM03UByU
How is YOUT youth receding even further?

Altalt: cunts
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 24 Feb 2015, 10:17, 142 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

lonely midnight dozer thread

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 24 Feb 2015, 0:13, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 18:12, 37 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I vote #DillAppeal for #TwentyFifteen 's #ChiveAlive

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 15:09, 125 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

How have you broken your worktime rules?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-31589202
Pulled a sickie, nicked a pen, fiddled expenses, spent time on a peurile digital art website, or worse?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 13:02, 69 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

"I'm not a racist, I just don't like black people"
Haha those cheeky UKIP scamps! What are they like, eh?
Why are you 'not racist, but...'?

Alt: Other piss poor excuses you have made or heard?

Altalt: Something about crisp flavours, that usually gets people posting.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:49, 142 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

morning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 7:52, 36 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

lazy Sunday evening plans?
crying into a cup-a-soup and hoping the boss doesn't comment on you not fitting into the extra large tabard in the morning?

I'm going to paddle to the pub and drink four or five Lakeland Pale before passing out around half nine
(old man river possible lesbian, Sun 22 Feb 2015, 17:48, 29 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 21 Feb 2015, 13:55, 45 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Anyone seen Montz? If so, pass this onto him please.
www.unilad.co.uk/video/group-of-lads-run-round-south-africa-cutting-off-top-knots/


Disclaimer: It's funny because Assault and The Law have a completely different understanding in Siff Efrikah than over here.

Disclaimer 2: Iroiny with that facial hair.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 21 Feb 2015, 10:47, 4 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Can someone please tell windy pig, or whatever the fuck his stupid prick name is
that he's a fucking cretin and ask him what his fucking problem is mate
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Sat 21 Feb 2015, 9:02, 9 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Friday night shut in thread!!!!!!!
How are you all? Any crazy plans? I'm just going to play computer games for a bit and drink some fizzy beer. Payday is a week away so it's going to be a tight week.

Alt: I'm really pumped up after playing a gig this week, can't wait to get back to practice and get some new songs done. Didn't realise how much I'd missed being in a band until the gig.

Altalt: fuck you
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 20 Feb 2015, 20:07, 115 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I've been on a lake
Some dillwads say "meh meh meh it's not a lake there's only one lake in the lake district meh mehmemeh" but then they drown and everybody laughs.

Alpaca or llama?
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Feb 2015, 20:03, 4 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

So I just screwed up I think by making pizza dough with self raising rather than bread flour.
Worth redoing or just see what happens?

What are your biggest fuck ups this year?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Feb 2015, 15:18, 196 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

what are your thoughts for the Blomkamp led Alien film?
personally Im excited. I rather liked District 9 and his concept art is epic.
What are you excited for?

alt. Last thing you watched/read/listenedto and rate it please.
or dont.

altalt. Lunchies!!

*rolleyes*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Feb 2015, 13:29, 86 replies, latest was 10 years ago)