did you skip down the street with the bags in your hand like Annie?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:02, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

No I did not
I nearly punched a feckless WH Smith's shop girl for charging me a GOD DAMN FORTUNE for some poxy cards and wrapping paper.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:04, Reply)

ooh la-di-da Mr I Shop In WHSmiths
what's wrong with The Works eh?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I didn't think
I then went by the Pound Shop (the posher Stratford residents hate that we now have one) and had a mini internal rage when I saw the wrapping goodies I could have had for much less.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I was aghast to be told that Winchester has one now.
There are two housing estates for the peasantry though, I suppose, but still...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I love The Works
3 books for a fiver? You can't go wrong.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Unless they're shit books.
Then it's not really worth it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:11, Reply)

well yeah but that's the risk you take
last time I played book roulette with my friend in Waterstones I got Hunter S Thompson, but he got a fiction with a baby shoe on the front about some woman's struggle with a still born or something dreadful like that. He refused to buy it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I got the missus an excellent Jewish cookbook from there once for £3.
The irony that it was (a) bought as a Christmas present, and (b) about £27 cheaper than it should have been is not lost on me...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Unless...
you can build a fort out of them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

that's true of anything though really

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:26, Reply)

True enough
though books - particularly hardbacks - tend to make better building materials than, say, cats.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Unless you glue the cats together first.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Ah, nobody mentioned adhesives!
For 'twas with the advent of Araldite that cat and glue did take the place of the artful skill of building a solid dry-book wall.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Never heard of it - I was talking about a pound shop.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:13, Reply)

oh whoops, I missed Labs' interjection and thought you were replying to me.
You'd hate The Works too though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Oh I dunno.
You can get some half decent looking Nazi reference porn in there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:23, Reply)

*gets on train to impoverished north*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:29, Reply)

They have them in the south, too I think.
Save your train fare. You'll never get through due to all the snow anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:31, Reply)

The uptight locals here are always whinging about something that threatens to 'destroy' Stratford
First it was the lap dancing club (you wouldn't know it was one until you got inside), then the sex shop (again, tastefully done, but it didn't last long as the council kept upping the fees) and now they rag on about the Pound Shop.
It doesn't help that about 1/5 of the shop spaces are empty because the rent is far too high for small independent shops.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:11, Reply)

MK doesn't.
we're a bit too upmarket.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:44, Reply)

maybe The Works took one look and was all "well fuck that"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:46, Reply)

^ this
In fact, I'm too cheap to even do that. No one is getting a card or a wrapped present. I'm saving the environment, innit?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:06, Reply)

My mum gets sadface if I don't get her a card
I can't do that to me ma on Christmas.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:07, Reply)

my mum's taken to sending me e-cards
because she knows I don't like real cards. But the bastard website tells her when I've opened it, what is this, 1984?!?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:11, Reply)

This morning I got two Amazon gift certificates from my nice aunts and uncles
Less to open Christmas Day, but a good gift nonetheless.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:14, Reply)

wrap up an empty box with AMAZONG VOUCHERS written on the side

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Effort
I have idly thought about making a boxing-glove-on-a-spring-in-a-box for my sister, but it'd have to be a heavy duty wooden box in order to be able to use a spring powerful enough to knock her out.

Bought her and her fella Dexter Season 4 instead.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:18, Reply)

just punch her when she opens it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Printing this out so you're to blame

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:22, Reply)

yeah I'm sure "the internet told me to do it" will hold up

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Make her one
Macaroni christmas tree on the front and covered in glitter.

She'll fucking love it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:11, Reply)

She probably would
But glitter is the herpes of the craft world, that shit gets EVERYWHERE.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:12, Reply)

^this
When my little sister did projects for school she would cover it in glitter and as I was usually helping her I would be finding glitter in the strangest places for weeks after.
( girlinthehole, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Oh yes, it transfers easily, but never fully goes away
I remember in my late teens when girls started to wear glittery makeup when going to the Battle of the Bands in town. You could always tell which guys had pulled the next day.
(It was never me)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:20, Reply)

one of my friends was dressed as Medusa for Halloween so her face was all green
her bloke had red fake blood all round his mouth, but by the end of the night they both looked like Christmas had vomited on them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Oh God! body glitter.
She was mad on that for a while too.

Pfft! I bet you make up for in now though : )
( girlinthehole, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

*swaggers, shoots Fonzy finger pistols, winks*
No, not really.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:22, Reply)

tru dat
you can't even shower that shit off, a bit like shame.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:17, Reply)

^ this

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I went one better
no one gets a present. I'm unemployed so I have an excuse hehe
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I went to Primark
And got my sister a nice harem jumpsuit and a lovely cut-out polka dot top for £3. She won't know this, so I look like a wonderful person, especially as everyone knows how skinted I am at the moment.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:13, Reply)

they've sold out of the pyjama onesies,
THIS IS DEVASTATING
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Devastating because this means that lots of people are wearing pj-onesies, right?
I was talking about these with my friend yesterday. I said "I mean, what a way to signal that you've completely given up on being alluring at all". Which is when she told me that her partner had asked for some for christmas :/
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I wanted the cow print one :(

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:22, Reply)

You'd probably be able to pull it off
I assume.

He, on the other hand, is 32 and has spent the past five years acting about 60. He wears long-johns ffs.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Is it Monty?
Oh, thought you said 52.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:28, Reply)

*narrows eyes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:30, Reply)

You should put your glasses on old timer.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Are you the nice man from the Post Office?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Yes, now just give me your chequebook.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Do they even still use them at the Post Office?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:52, Reply)

He's a good friend
But I have no idea why she puts up with him being such a boring fucker. I would kill myself if my life were as boring as hers.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I have heated cow boots as well
Wiggy says they're the least sexy thing he's ever seen me in
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Some people can look good in anything.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 9:23, Reply)