Proof that Northeners are dirty feckers
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1346296/Why-men-North-need-a-hand-hygiene.html

What's the most pointless rivalry/feud you are aware of?

Alt Q: How long should a grudge be held for?

Edit - yes I'm aware it's a Daily Mail article.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:01, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I just posted a lol story on talk about the north.
My mate was changing trains in Newcastle. On seeing a woman come up to him and starting to talk to him in a strong Geordie accent he waved his hands in front of her and said "I haven't got any money" when she was asking when the next train was.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Hahaha
Thats funny because people talk differently.....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I don't get it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:11, Reply)

My response or Chompy's post?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

He assumed she was a beggar because she had a geordie accent.
It's funny because of his predjudice.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I got it really
It's not funny
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

It's the way I tell them.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

No doubt
Your mate sounds like a dick
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

double this

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

He's actually not
which is probably why I find it funny but you lot don't.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Yeah but I imagine you see everything in a very clinical way and humour/character/delivery/
aren't taken into account. If it's technically amusing it would probably win you over. Basically I'm calling you a soulless robot. With aids.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Comedy is a lot more technical than you'd think.
One of the oldest jokes ever recorded still works today.

Man walks into a barbers and the barber says "how would you like your hair cut" the man says "in silence"

It's all about give expectation A, provide answer B
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I understand the technical nature of comedy however it is not the most important part.
For example bad jokes told by an excellent comedian will get more laughs than good jokes told by a robot. It's about SOUL Chompy, it's all about soul.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I appreciate you know him and we don't
hence my saying he SOUNDS like a dick, based entirely on that anecdote. You could point out to him that whilst his prejudice is absolutely hilarious when said to a woman, if he'd said the same thing to a bloke he'd still be in hospital now. Which makes it even sadder
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

oh dear.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Nah.
You on the other hand...
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:44, Reply)

of his prejudice it's true
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:46, Reply)

I always enjoy giving small change to students who are sitting in the street
because they're scruffy cunts. It always annoys them.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Steve Blackman and Ken Shamrock, circa 2003 I think
Why did Blackman start on Shamrock with a Kendo stick in the first place? Usually these things at least have a bit of a backstory, however soap opera it may be
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I remember this
Blackman got out of the crowd didn't he in some WWE super stunt.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Basically, yeah
All the way through his walk towards the ring I was thinking "what the fuck is he doing there?"

All it amounted to was the WWE wanting to pair off arguably the two hardest men - if you met them in real life - on their roster, and Blackman had zero personality so they couldn't get him to do a rant to camera about it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I kind of stopped watching when the Legion of Doom got to about 80!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I now know how people feel when I talk about WoW

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

ahahahahahahahah
Chompy you can't feel!!! POTD.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

It won't be the last time
that a 'blackman' acts in an unprovoked and violent manner, I'll wager.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Oh Monty what are we going to do with you?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)

You could always gaz the mods?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

No way. I love it really.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Monty, my dear
I would like to give my opinion on your previous thread but it's so long I'll do it here.
My favourite disney film as a kid was 101 Dalmatians, the one with all of the dogs and none of the Princesses. It makes me cringe when girls my age are still into shit like that.
Me and my sister had barbies at that age, but we were never really interested. There's not a lot you can do with them really and the train sets, tool kits and duplo were always a hell of a lot more interesting. Plus my parents put more emphasis on books, and playing outside. By the age of about eight, I was reading Agatha Christie.
You can't force her interests, but just make sure she has more interesting, stimulating stuff available to her as well as shitty plastic stick figures, and I bet she'll lose interest in the dolls pretty fast.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

^this
I'll throw my opinion in too. Disney princesses and Barbies are supremely shite. My sister's 6, and she hates all that stuff, being more into dinosaurs and space (as was I). However, her grandma insists on buying her 'girls toys', like pretend kitchens and stuff. It makes me want to cunt-punch her.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Steve Blackman was solid,
Ken Shamrock just used to scream and beat his chest.

Those were the glory days of WWFE
(TheColonel, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Steve Blackman vs Shane McMahon was superb, especially the end of the match
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMrCFqJwXbI
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Far earlier, about 1999 that.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Agreed
I forget timsecales but when Triple H and Rock were locking horns as leaders of D-Generation X and The Nation, that was fucking boss
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:35, Reply)

About 97-98 I think that was.
I still watch it now, after a break of about 5 years, fucking love it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I haven't seen it for ages
and consequently have lost track of practically everyone. Am stunned to see that the 'Taker is still inspiring epic fear after all this time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

He's got a year left in him, maybe
But after that, he's gone. HBK is gone, Triple H is nearly gone, Rock went years back, same with Stone Cold, there's pretty much none left that I grew up watching!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

TNA seems to have more recognisable faces than the WWE nowadays

(TheColonel, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

But they're pretty much all either too old, or on drugs
Kevin Nash, Sting, Hulk Hogan, Rick Flair, etc
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:56, Reply)

That's just sad
Ric Flair hasn't looked like a wrestler for years. I remember him having a match against Vince McMahon a few years back and Vinnie Mac was twice the size of him.

HBK's return a few years ago was a bit sad, watching the likes of Jericho and the mighty Triple H lose to a burnt-out shell of a former legend was frankly laughable
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I've no idea who he is, but I'll bet Kendo Nagasaki would have him.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

HBK won match of the year for several years after he came back, according to wikipedia they were
PWI Match of the Year (2004) vs. Chris Benoit and Triple H at WrestleMania XX
PWI Match of the Year (2005) vs. Kurt Angle at WrestleMania 21
PWI Match of the Year (2006) vs. Vince McMahon in a No Holds Barred match at WrestleMania 22
PWI Match of the Year (2007) vs. John Cena on Raw on April 23
PWI Match of the Year (2008) vs. Ric Flair at WrestleMania XXIV
PWI Match of the Year (2009) vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXV

I've seen most of these matches, and they were superb.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 13:13, Reply)

The feuding churches that control the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem
'Men of god' battering seven shades of shite out of each other over someone moving a deckchair a few feet. It's quite funny really except that the place is falling into disrepair because they can't agree on anything.

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/is-nothing-sacred-483526.html

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_Holy_Sepulchre#Status_quo
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Pointless rivalry you say?
Probably the English and the Welsh, or the English and the Scots, or the English and other English people. Damn English! *shakes fist at reflection*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:22, Reply)

You forgot the French.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Good old France
it's the country you just can't stay mad at
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

The English and the Australians has enormous weight behind right now though
cos we're better than them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

temporarily.
I think they are about to beat us at playschool cricket, for a start. Unless this Woakes chap is some secret weapon.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:36, Reply)

He's got two first-class centuries
although I realise this means nowt in this "format". Ordinarily I wouldn't give a shit, with the Ashes and three innings victories in the bag, but as the T20 World Champions you know the Aussies will crow if they manage to beat us

EDIT: Woakes has just clattered Shaun Tait - Shaun Tait, mind you - off his second ball, and Bres is batting well. There's hope
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

kiss of death there Darth old chap.
Still, 13 off 10 is possible as long as no more stumps clatter.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Yeah I noticed that a little too late
Swanny's a slugger so that necessary boundary is still gettable #mockers

EDIT: FUCKING, FUCKING HELL
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Swann, you total cock.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Christ
Scores level with one ball left. What the FUCK am I doing posting on B3ta?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

NO CRICKET TALK ON MY POST!
*Sulks*
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Woo!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I could probably care less about cricket
i'm just not sure how
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Being fair
the first two are grudges the Welsh and Scottish hold with the English, not the other way round. The English don't, in general, care either way.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:35, Reply)

It's as if England is their much taller brother, holding them at arm's length and chuckling
as they try to swing their fists at it, getting more and more frustrated all the time.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I like this

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I was mis-quoting Groundskeeper Willie
because I don't have an original thought in my head
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Alt: Depends on the reason behind the grudge, and the person against whom you intend to hold it.
So do tell.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

although it's virtually impossible to really upset/offend me, i am guilty SOMETIMES of the girly thing
that girls do, where little things annoy me but i don't say anything, however underneath the surface each one builds up into a tiny bit of resentment. then one big thing happens that blows it up into a mass of seething fury. i will then rant onto a friend all about that has happened and how i never want to see or speak to that person again EVER, they are cast out, excommunicated, doomed, finished, dismissed, finito benito.

2 days later, best of friends. ok not so much now i'm not 13 any more, but very occasionally...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:27, Reply)

First time I've seen anyone here try and use the Daily Mail as proof of anything
top comedy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

"It's serious stuff"
Bullshit. We can't live in a completely clean and antimicrobial environment, its impossible, not to mention bad for you.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

It's dull and not really news but after the debate yesterday I thought it might be a bit of fun.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Not to mention
"...comes from a study of the hygiene of more than 300 men passing through train stations around the country."

There are so many things wrong with that you wonder how anyone had the gall to make an article of it in the first place.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE MAIL DON'T HAVE VERY HIGH JOURNOLISTIC STANDARDS!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I NO RITE?!?!?
Sorry if it appears to be getting under my bonnet unduly, but they do have a famously bad track record for extrapolating wildly from tentative studies - making mountains of medical molehills, as it were. So really, I shouldn't be surprised by this article.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:42, Reply)

300 people isn't a bad sample size
it's just getting from there to the assumptions made in that article is wrong.
You could as easily say, Birmingham is the cleanest station.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Not when that 300 is spread over several stations.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

That's not really the issue.
It's more that this is a field investigation and the other variables haven't (I assume, mail never links it's sources) properly been accounted for. Loads of excellent studies have been done with smaller sample sizes.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

You can only use small sample sizes
(and this is a small sample size) for a very definite single or dual-conclusion study. And even then it depends upon the statistical relevance. If you studied 300 people, 150 southern and 150 northern, and said that 57% of the northerners didn't wash their hands whereas only 43% of the southerners did, you're talking about an actual difference of 10 washers/non washers in each case. Statistically as good as useless.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

From what I can tell they checked for multiple germs on each subject
that would give me a big enough data set to do some statistical analysis.

The analysis would be useless though, because they haven't chosen the subjects specifically enough or randomly enough.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I would love to see the journal/report they took this from.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

It'll be key a stage 2 science survey

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Worse, it'll be a study for a soap manufacturer.
Bet you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I think this may be the truth.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

yes it is.
In this situation, it's little better than throwing some papers with random conclusions in the air and then catching one blindfold
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Well, exactly.
That, and major train statons are always going to be filthy. It's not the sample size I take issue with in this case, it's - as you rightly point out - all the assumptions that have to be made to get anywhere near that conclusion. Particularly the way they take a tenuous shred of evidence to declare a brand new North/South divide.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I didn't even want to think about that bit

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

because it's the fucking Mail, who are subhuman sensationalist scum?
I mean, I know you knew that, but I felt I should emphasise
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I think people should all be on antibiotics all the time
that way they won't get sick.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

A lad had his hands down his trackies, then went to hand me his card
I refused to take it and just held the scanner and scowled at him.
I was assuming he was a local, as it's a known phenomenon - but generally only with local scallies and not your average scouse bloke or student.
BUT HE WAS SOUTHERN! Now I'm not using this to say "See, Southerners are dirty too." because I don;t want to get into all that, and besides, I've never seen it happen anywhere but here. I can only assume he's either learnt this behaviour, or it was a contrived effort to fit in with the locals, the lowest locals of all, because decent men don't do it.
Walking around with your hand on your bare knob then going to hand me money? Fuck off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)

*shudders*
Do people actually do that? I've seen scallies/chavs/knuckle-draggers walking round openly cupping themselves, but at least their hands were outside their PE kit. Who decided it was a good look to walk around with your hand in your pants? Is it suddenly fashionable to give the appearance of openly masturbating in public?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

it's not sudden in Liverpool, but I must stress that it is really only stinky scallies
Sometimes you see them having a surreptitious sniff afterwards. They really fiddle down there.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

*facepalms, but at least he knows where said hand has been*
WHY? What, in the name of all that is sacred and profane, do they think that does for other people's perception of them?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

They don't care, do they.
Their peers are usually next to them doing the same.
So when your mate is passing you a ciggy, you're touching flakes of his knob, you gayer.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Fools.
Don't they realise GAY is contagious?

Edit: 'Flakes' is probably the right word. If that article's to be believed then they aren't washing enough and so they probably have pubic dandruff.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Pubic dandruff would be the cleanest thing down there
I'd be more concerned about cheesey smegma flakes, if I were you.
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

You say it though I were likely to go near their genitalia
I can assure you I attract a much cleaner clientele on Clapham Common. And if there is any doubt I at least make them wipe it on the grass.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Very sensible
You can't be too careful, after all.
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Dirty little fuckers

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

And now I've got all caught up in scally-bashing
But it doesn't explain why this otherwise normal student boy 'not from round ere' was doing it.
i'm genuinely puzzled.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

How Southern was he?
We have plenty of PE-kit-wearing chavs round these parts gripping their...erm...parts. If he sounded like a Popped-Collar-Rupert then that would be far harder to understand.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

He had Generic Southern Student Accent (TM)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:07, Reply)

See, that can vary a lot as well
Is that Generic Southern Laahndan Student Accent or Generic Southern 'Gap Yah' Student Accent?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

He was somewhere between
"Too bloody raaaaight, rude not to!" and "Yeah we-uwl aahv got vees bukz raait..."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:11, Reply)

He was somewhere between
"Too bloody raaaaight, rude not to!" and "Yeah we-uwl aahv got vees bukz raait..." They all sound the same to me.

Racist!
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

AND they all look the same.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Oh. OH.
*shudders further*
Generic Southern Student-Pretending-To-Be-An-Essex-Wideboy Accent (TM).

Just thinking about it sends a shiver of horror down my spine. Roota, you have my sympathies. For future reference: if in doubt, cut their throats.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

My mate is engaged to some internet freak with a mockney accent
and he never stops going on about his family daahn saaaf.

Guess where he's from...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

No doubt, the richest end of Essex
in which people tend to be quite well spoken, but feel the need to disguise this by speaking like Jamie 'Ooh what a fucking big tongue I've got' Oliver.

I realise I'm coming across as a dreadful snob here, but when they put it on like that it just looks so fucking pretentious.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Cheltenham.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Oh for fucking fuck's sake.
He could at least have the decency to admit he sounds a bit West Country and have done with it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

And here's the best bit...
He's lived up North for 17 years.
I think he worked in London for a few months once.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

woah woah
no such thing! was he West Country, Cornish? Janner? Cockney?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

There is such a thing
We have alot of wishy-washy accents going round.
People don't stay in their own parish any more Bob.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

*Reads*
Spoke properly.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

You pack that in

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Sorry.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Oh gawd
that's put me right of my Dairylea Dunkers
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Was he crying and screaming the lord's prayer at the same time

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:48, Reply)

He had his hands down his trousers??
So how come he gets away with it and I get banned from working as a Lollypop man?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I like this.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Well that's what I said at the time
"not appropriate behaviour" apparently
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Political Correctness
gone mad.
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I was certainly the victim of a PC gone mad
when I was taken down the station for a kicking in the cells
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

WHY do people do this?
Are they worried it's going to fall off? Does it comfort them? Are they worried about leg-crossing abrasions?

I don't understand. I am comfortable enough in having a nob that I don't feel the need to fucking cradle it.
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Plus yours is so small your fingers can't even get a purchase on it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Have you been hanging around in my bushes again?

( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

So 'hand down trousers' is unacceptable,
but getting your micropenis out in public - so that it could be seen by someone in the bushes - is OK?

You sicken me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Listen.
If I want to walk around with my admittedly tiny penis out in public, that is a matter between me and the Police.

Simply because a man walks around with his nob out is not sufficient justification for you to hide in bushes and watch, you utter pervert.
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

es
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

es
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

es

EDIT: Jeff you genius cunt
(TheColonel, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

es
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:58, Reply)

It gets lonely.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Rivalries and feuds are fucking brilliant.
They're up there with grudges. The more pointless the better, I say.

The England/France thing is a source of great, great pleasure to me, it's like a hobby.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yeah, but you often wish the Israelis and Palestinians
would just GET OVER IT already.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

In honest truth, I wish they would annihilate each other
in sickening, bloody combat. Bunch of barbaric, medieval cunts. In a bad way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Not in a decent way, like those jolly good Viking hordes we used to get round these parts
Oh, rape and pillage you they would, but at least they did the job properly...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

And they loved their mums.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

They was good lads really.
You knew where ya stood wiv 'em.
*sheds Cockney faux-sentimental tear*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

That seems like a sensible approach
They really are behaving terribly childishly.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Boys will be boys
It's the parents, I blame.
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Them and 'asylum seekers'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

What about the darkies?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Ugh. Don't get me started.
They've ruined house prices round my way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

And the Jews!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I think the reference to 'Israelis' covers them, you witless Deacon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

witless Deacon
got an office lol. Well done.
( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:07, Reply)

that was meant to be the joke! I am so misunderstood (and fat)

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Sorry.
I just thought you were being a Deacon. Based on previous posts you can't blame me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

witless-Deacon lols.
*Does the mong clap, where the hands are incapable of meeting to make any noise*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Did you
have the old 'bet you can't lick your elbow' trick to get someone to act like a spastic, at your school. Fucking classic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Yeap.
Or the counting 'game'

Joe-A
Joe-B
Joe-C
Joe-D
JOEY!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:11, Reply)

*dons rose-tinted monocle*
Oh for those simpler, happier times....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Did you ever give the token wheel-chair user in your school a dead-arm?
Just so you could watch them go round in circles until the pain subsided?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:15, Reply)

They didn't allow flids at my school.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

there are people who can do it though.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlSxF4klHms
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I know someone who can do it
she's a freak.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Is she by any chance a 'scoper'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

She probably spends most of her time in 'the unit'
With the other Remmy-cases.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Ah, the 'remmies'.
We had a teacher who'd say 'don't give me a hard time, boys, I've just spent an hour with 'the zoo'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

*Pisses 'self laughing*
The remmies only joined the main-streams for art and PE, so in addition to being thick, a couple of times a week, they'd either get drawn on, or attacked by some rugby loving lunatic.

I wonder what became of them?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

They became 'Bobby Pires' and joined B3ta.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

He is doing a remedial degree, after all.

( Kroney, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

They're probably on here somewhere.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:23, Reply)

nah just very skinny and bendy

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

That's brilliant. Wish I had known it.
Almost as good as telling someone they have something stuck to the heel of their shoe. When they lift up their heel and look over their shoulder, say "HELLO SAILOR!"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I have just lolled. Quite loudly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Good job you're in charge
if anyone looks up just tell them to get back to work. Perhaps call them a "minion".
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Of course the most pointless grudge ever
Is the People's Front of Judea v the Romans.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

FACK OFF!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

SPLITTERS!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Right I'm off to have my locks removed.
Bye bye folks.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

*Goes unequipped*
Returns with Bobs drum kit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Just leave me the tama.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Alt: If it's a good one: FOR EVER.
You can't beat a good grudge, especially if nobody can even remember what it started over.
'Ning autisms, you flailing spastic mong shitcunts.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Saying 'ning' is fucking bent, Stuj.
It's also inaccurate as it is afternoon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

He's in the Falklands though.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Only half nine AM here in The SUPERIOR South Monty.
*Bums*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I still hate gorgonzola cheese.
This is a feud started at the age of 6 when some gorgonzola "accidentally" found it's way onto my pizza.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Me and mushrooms have 'issues'.
I will destroy them.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Have you tried talking about it?
Don't ignore each other. Life's too short.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I would rather lick my hands clean than wash them in railway station facilities.
Those places ming to the nth.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 12 Jan 2011, 15:34, Reply)