Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread.Once again you can ask me anything you like. I will deign to answer truthfully or sort out your problems.
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girlinthehole, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:04,
219 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
If you mean mutton dressed as lamb then no.I did once own a pair of lace fingerless gloves, many many years ago.
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girlinthehole, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:08,
Reply)
I prefer the far superior insult that was used on fergie"pork dressed as mutton"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:11,
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I think there might be fergie confusion, here.Are you thinking of her off of the Black Eyed Peas?
I was referring to Lady Sarah Ferguson, erstwhile wife of Prince Andrew, who I hope for your sake hasn't sullied your shores. If so, my humble apologies on behalf of the whole country.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:15,
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Oh, indeed.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:28,
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I actually did think of bep fergieI don't think Sarah Ferguson is ugly, tbh
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:35,
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+the fallen+with the big boobies
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:09,
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I like thisI also like big boobies
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:10,
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What size rubber sheet shall I bring?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:08,
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*orders from specialist retailer*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:12,
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If I'm still allowed to your bash, do I have to only wear grey?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:10,
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You can come to my bash if you promise to stop making crappy jokes at my expense.Only top notch humour is allowed.
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girlinthehole, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:13,
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I rarely make crap jokes at your expense!But I shall behave.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:14,
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Just be happy that I can't be arsed to find the links.(
girlinthehole, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:20,
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Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:10,
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Fascists(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:11,
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It was the same person who put theram In the rama lama ding dong
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:46,
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Monty keeps telling me I'm bent.I think that means he fancies me. What should I do?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:10,
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Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:10,
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Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:11,
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Who was that man?I'd like to shake his hand.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:12,
Reply)
Big-girl's-blouseIt says so at the bottom of her post - look, just there
*points*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:23,
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How do you like your eggs in the morning?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:12,
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what shall we do with the drunken sailor?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:12,
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You REALLY don't help yourself at times(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:24,
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Well, Karen did insist on throwing her food away...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:15,
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Most excellent post sir!I nominate this for pun of the day
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:20,
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Because she is covered in avian mating pheremones.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:21,
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It should really be fishThen the carp-enter
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:28,
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like my womenground-up and kept in the freezer.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:16,
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*buzzes*What was Diana taken to hospital in?
(I'm doing this Jeopardy! style.)
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:30,
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Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set And Go Out And Do Something Less Boring Instead?(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)
Do you believe humans have a mind that is separate from the body (dualism)?Or do you believe that mind and body are one entity (monism)?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:15,
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A sort of quantum existence of mind and bodyWhere they are simultaneously both separate and one?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:19,
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*Googles*Fucking nice one mate! *shakes hand*
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:23,
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Hehe. Thanks. *meta-physical fist bumps*As sportscow points out correctly below, somewhere I've got a Kula Shaker CD from years ago, and the intro has I think Mark Radcliffe quizzing the poshboy Mills about what the track Tattva's actually all about. Crispian, bless him, waffles a bit, setting Radcliffe up for a bullet of a question something like "But I just thought it meant the simultaneous inconceivable difference and non-difference of reality?".
I've got a very odd associative memory sometimes ...
(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:36, Reply)
I'm impressed dudeLess impressed now I realise you were a Kula Shaker fan, rather than a secret Hindu guru/professor of philosophy, but still kudos and respect is definitely due!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:40,
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how many dates should you have before sex?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:16,
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Around 5836. (i,e, 16 years)Realistically, if you like the guy, I'd say 3. If you're not intending on calling him again, do it the first night, then kick him out.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:17,
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I'm sorry, I just don't see thisthey're still practically a stranger
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:23,
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i've always said 8 dates minimumi have broken it once or twice, but then it has made for pretty awkward, shit sex. but then if you wait 8 dates, which can be up to 2 months if you're both busy, you can get in the "friend" zone and stop finding them sexy. argh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:31,
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I'm obviously not one to talk tbhI don't think I've ever been on a proper date. I've got with girlfriends in a far more relaxed way.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:39,
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I've only ever been on two dates and neither were successful.(
girlinthehole, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:42,
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i've been on bloody loadsmostly i end up just really liking them but not fancying them.
although i made a new female friend on fri night. she told our mutual friend that she felt as if she was "on a date" and forgot to look for hot boys because she was having so much fun with me. i might have to change my mobile number.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:47,
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i thought she was coolbut it turns out she is good fun but a known psychopath who is just obsessed with men.
she'll be ok so long as i don't introduce her to the Potential!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:52,
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What a great name that is for someone 'The Potential'I've got a mate called 'Previous' on account on his record.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:53,
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you totally just jinxed yourself.now they're going to end up MARRIED.
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:55,
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not the kind of fun i usually like to have on dates, kristine!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:52,
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and how many dates do you wait to give a blow job?(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:56,
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Has anyone ever told you, you're magnificent?NOTE: Not a come on, simply impressed with your bluntness.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:57,
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some peoplebut it's never enough, frankly!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:58,
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Five - any more and you'll be bloated.Perhaps start with raisins or mini figs and work your way up?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:20,
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I've heard you're into figging(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:21,
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I thought we ALL liked some figgy pudding.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:50,
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*shakes head*awful punnery
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:21,
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any more than one packet and you'll be shitting yourself inside out before you get half-way to the bedroom(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:20,
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Depends on how drunk I am, how drunk she isand most importantly of all, how hot she is.
Of course, since i'm now 30 and my boyish charm is givin way to old man creepiness, the amount of Rohypnol I have to hand is playing a larger role.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:39,
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oh yaythe "hotness" criteria.
for every use of the word "hot", the % of shallowness rises. or decreases, whichever.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:55,
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I hope so!She gives me the feckin horn!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:22,
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Which is more admirablethe ostrich or the penguin?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:18,
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Alright Amberl!Penguin, definitely.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:22,
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Alright Labsthis answer also makes me do a sadface
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:22,
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I took 'admirable' to mean you admire them for overcoming hardships etcAnd there's no 'March of the Ostriches' film.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:25,
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Oh I can't stand ostrichesbut it was a coded question
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:26,
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Clearly I am no enigma machine(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:28,
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I'm good at itWhen I twig that I'm supposed to be thinking laterally, rather than answering an odd but twee question.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:29,
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Perhaps what she's trying to ask is"Is it better to bury one's head in the sand than to waddle around in a large group making "Auk! Auk!" noises?"
(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:32, Reply)
This is very closeI was asking if it's better to bury my head in the sand than march grimly and slowly on
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:33,
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Ah, with you now.And in that case, I'm afraid my answer may also be penguin. (As I am learning quite rapidly at the moment)
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Except, according to QI, ostriches don't bury their heads in the sandThey just lower them so they can scan the horizon.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:36,
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I think laterally half the timeit would be more convenient all of the time.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:32,
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who are you to wave your finger?you must have been out of your head
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:19,
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Eye hole deep in muddy waters.You practically raised the dead
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:20,
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you must have been so high(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:27,
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*highfives*(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:28,
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*reciprocates*I like the next lines
foot in mouth and head up asshole, whatcha talkin' 'bout?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:30,
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Brilliant wordplay all throughout the song IMHO(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:37,
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it's just a brilliant album really(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:39,
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Oh Beeg'b, why can I never find the enterance to Filroy? I've tasted the unreal world and now what I perceieved to be viberant colourful place is bland.I wish to go on adventures with the Chatwins, and find the world between the walls, the floating forrest and harper the watcherwomen's mishaps.
I feel like my life is the Mystery of Edwin Drood.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:22,
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You know when you'e just enchanted by a book? I currently am Beeg'b, absolutly enchanted. I haven't been like this over a book in well over a year or twoIt's called "The Magicians" by "Lev Grossman"
That mystery of Edwin Drood is a wicked expresion they came up with in the book, which you literary types should know about ,)
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:26,
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Think of harry potter, at uni, with sex/drugs/rape/rivealy/general teenagerness.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:34,
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Is this existentialismor should you just be doing some work instead of being on b3ta?
(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:31, Reply)
You either have a divinely-mandated purpose you are yet to fillOr you just haven't died yet for all manner of reasons (luck being a major component).
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:42,
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executive power derives from a mandate from the massesnot from some moistened bint distributing swords in some farcical aquatic ceremony"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:58,
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Bravo!(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 16:00,
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Is it better to be hated for who you are, or loved for what you're not?(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I've experienced both. Ignore your conscience, and the loved one is fine!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:29,
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I'd rather be who I am and be hated for itthan change who I am to be loved.
(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)
I agree. Too many people are willing to change their principles for other people.It should be stopped.
(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)
Unless your principlesare changing your principles
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:45,
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What if you're a fucking annoying selfish arsehole?If a respected friend or partner pointed this out to you, are you saying that you are happy to continue being a fucking selfish annoying arsehole to the detriment of those around you because heh that's who you are?
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:56,
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This is a good pointwe all modify our behaviour around others no matter how much we think we're just being ourselves
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 16:00,
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You do make a valid point.Revised statement: I think that as long as your views don't harm anyone, whether intentionally or through ignorance, then you shouldn't change them.
(, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Wicked, everyone passes the test and can touch my winky(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 16:07,
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Rockin', rock'n'roll radio?Let's go.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:38,
Reply)
Have you ever seen a real-live naked woman?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:46,
Reply)
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:48,
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Joey, do you like it when Scraps grabs your leg and rubs up and down?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:52,
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CopypastaI support you in your health kick, and as such, I'm going to bring up the topic of Graze Boxs
www.graze.com/ , if you all use this code, you can get a free box delivered straight to your desk..... VRJQXLX
Timberlake maybe bringing sexy back, but I'm bringing Grazebox back.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:42,
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hahaDonno who that is, but I got the point.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:47,
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That's a homosexual, innit? You can tell by the way she's eyeing my willy.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:48,
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It's the sly "ohhh yes, I would" look he's got in his eyeI bet he's not short of a packet of Werther's
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:49,
Reply)
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