Lies, damned lies and QOTW
Just catching up with today's interesting threads and seeing who won this QOTW.
Interesting stuff.

So...lies - are they alright for QOTW then? Or do we have to keep to the utter truth?

Here's the rub....if /board are allowed to use Photoshop to create something then surely we ought to be able to use our imagination and some interesting WORDS.

Or should /board and the Image Challenge just stick to photographs because that's REAL and the TRUTH.

Alternative question - how long?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 16:52, 68 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Not as long as your significant other, I hear.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

He does have a very large chicken

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

And what better lady to choke it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Some of us are just lucky.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

This questions sounds like a lie to me.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I don't lie
I do sometimes 'improve' the truth though.

It helps me to get onto the Best page of qotw.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:11, Reply)

I care more about quality than accuracy
but there is an extra something that comes from a personal honest annecdote.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:01, Reply)

And you can tell the difference then?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Not always
but more often than not it's obvious.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

It's not so much that it might not be true
it's more the ones that clearly aren't true but they are pretending it actually happened.

I think the funniest stories are the one where you can picture yourself in that situation.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

And surely then the funniest stories are the ones which are well written?
I really couldn't give a bugger if the story is the Truth or not - I read qotw for a funny story and often life isn't neat, tidy and funny. More often than not we remember the brilliant come back after the event.

And if we're going to be all philosophical (*looks around for Enzyme*) then who's to say what the truth actually is? No two people remember events in the same way...
Experience is subjective.
Life is subjective.
Some people write funny stories some people write a load of old crap.
*shrugs*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Mathmaticians tell you what truth is.
I think all answers should be peer reviewed formulars.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

And spell-checked, preferably.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:13, Reply)

So only mathematicians ought to post on qotw then.
Erm....wasn't Edmund a mathematician?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:15, Reply)

no he was a fighter pilot-medic-arctic explorer-accountant

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Oh, my mistake.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:18, Reply)

It's easily done
I thought he only had one wife for a while LOLZ
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

You see, I can get all of those ..
apart from accountant? who pretends to add up shit to be cool?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Colonal Dracula.
He's really a lavatory attendant with an iPhone and severe delusions.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

It doesn't matter.
Nobody believed me about the time I took acid and the ice cream van left a cup of tea on a troll with down syndrome who had headphones.

And that was just the teachers!
(TheColonel, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:03, Reply)

That was their first mistake.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Needless to say I had the last laugh.

(TheColonel, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Alt: Has this been going on?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Well, your friends with their fancy persuasions
Don't admit that it's part of a scheme....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Sorry, I don't know anything but those first two lines
I think that song is older than me...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Quite possibly older than both of us....Ahem...
I googled it.
These old arthritic fingers can still type things into google.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Yes on all accounts
Apart from the second Tuesday of each third month in the lunar calendar
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:07, Reply)

The fact of the matter is that other people's photographs are usually fucking boring.
Photoshopping is a good way to make them interesting or amusing.

Similarly, other people's stories are often fucking boring. In these cases it's better not sharing them at all. Embellishment and exaggeration are expected, but if the story isn't interesting in the first place then lying won't help. And as for outright made-up tosh, well, as long as it's amusing and original then it's got to beat another long-winded story in which the protagonist turns out to be Luke Skywalker.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I like the cut of your jib, young man
Precisely my thinking too.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

I fucking HATE those.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

To be honest, most of the time I've no idea what they're on about
the same with the crappy LOTR type stories.

HoHo! My precious!

Fuck off with your precious. Fuck off back to New Fucking Zealand.

Evenin' Monty *waves*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Alright gorgeous?
Where's my drinking arrangement?

EH?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:21, Reply)

We do need to arrange that...and soon
Especially as the evenings are getting lighter and here in the sticks we're coming out of hibernation.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:23, Reply)

I shall keep one folorn and longing eye out
for the bat chicken symbol in the sky.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:25, Reply)

All the stories are shit, written by cunts and should ideally fuck right off.
Apart from mine.

Alt: I've punctured my share of lungs over the years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

by not seeing that toothpick in the cocaine?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:20, Reply)

That made me Laugh Out Loud. Honestly.
Okay, it was a snigger.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:21, Reply)

No, by
PUNCHING PEOPLE WHO GIVE ME LIP SO FUCKING HARD THEIR CHESTS IMPLODE.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Meh. after a lifetime of MASSIVE drugs your bones are made of balsa wood and dust, Monty
you couldn't punch your way out of a paper bag, I'll wager.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Utter shit.
In my capacity as a fucking VIKING, I am still as strong as an ox, you cheeky wee shite.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:32, Reply)

haha, that's the first time anyone has called me "wee"
nicely done, if hideously inaccurate.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:33, Reply)

I was referring to your aroma, not your stature.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Ow, zing.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Well, no, because /QOTW and /board aren't the same thing.
QOTW lies are only annoying when they aren't funny, or are done to give the protagonist "all this" as the hard/cool/funny man, but overall when the person writing it carries on with the pointless pretence that it isn't a lie despite all other evidence suggesting otherwise.

Or, to put it another way, if people lie, they shouldn't get arsey if they get called for it. That would be their first mistake.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:26, Reply)

I dunno really, it annoyed me when reading some of Legless' stories back in the day.
But I didn't get b3ta then really. It doesn't affect me irl so I am not too fussed no.

Alt, not long enough.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:29, Reply)

But does it *affect* you?

Suffer the little children, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I think your flat is safe Monts.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Is it balls. I have nailed everything so far.
Alright Jeff?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I find it incredible
that entry-level literacy and general knowledge are not considered essentials for educators in this woebegone age.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:48, Reply)

Where is this exhibition you're going to being held?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:54, Reply)

It was a simple mistake, Like I have said several bajillion times before
I'm not fussed about being grammatically correct on here, it's far too much effort.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:55, Reply)

bajillion isn't even a number
*single tear for the future of our great country*
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Stop being so literal you soulless clunge monkey.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)

here's a post Monty can moan as NOT CARING ABOUT
I was talking about how MotoGP riders are supistitious and often keep their numbers, as well as all the promo items that go with it, Rossi never chose to ride with the number 1 yadda yadda and Lorenzo has switched from 99 to 1. Fucking arrogant cocksock.

/random motor wibble
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:43, Reply)

I recognise some of them as English words*,
but that's as far as it goes for me, I'm afraid.


*not 'supistitious', though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:46, Reply)

That's a special Samword

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Ah, I see.
It looks suspiciously like a special Paulword from where I'm sitting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

All my QOTW stories have been true
except for the one about Rocky, my prize fighting whelk.

OT is full of old-school QOTWers today. Nice. I feel at all cosy and at home.

Alt: in proportion and very effective.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:09, Reply)

alt: 36"
is the depth of the snow I have just had to shovel to get my car out
boo
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:12, Reply)

that's a lot of snow

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 19:02, Reply)

I've been learning Spanish. Wooo!
Or should I say el Woooo!
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:12, Reply)

if it were french, would it be le wooo?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:16, Reply)

Yup!

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)

And if you were learning to speak like an owl?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:24, Reply)

TWIT....twooooooo

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)

I find teh lies annoying
I skim over them and have never clicked "like" for one. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be there, cos lots of people obviously enjoy them. "Believable" lies however are another matter...I'm sure lots of the best genuine-seeming QOTW replies are utter bullshit, but that doesn't stop them being massively entertaining.

For the record though, all of mine are true, even the one about the tampon *cries*
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Are you bashing madam fluff?
It would be spiffing to see you again.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Jan 2011, 22:48, Reply)