Doggy-Style
It knackers out my legs because my wife's thighs are longer than mine so I sort of have to push her down and I can never get the angle quite right.
Plus I sometimes catch a faint hint of anal musk. Do anyone B3tans actually enjoy it? Perhaps someone has a useful tip...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:52, 58 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Cut her knees off or something
you're asking the wrong place anyway we're all internet people.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:54, Reply)

=/

( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:55, Reply)

don't post it on here??
otherwise get her to lie on her front rather than kneeling and possibly push a pillow under her hips and then you can-

so yeah, don't post it on here.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:56, Reply)

1. Yes, I enjoy it, thank you for asking
2. Yes: don't be such a fucking midget
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:57, Reply)

See this is where shagging your younger (shorter) sister pays dividends

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Doggy-Style you say?
I wouldn't know anything about that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Your wife is the right height for most of us

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Well, she was to start with.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Is she 4 foot tall, with a flat head and no teeth?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Yep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Perfect woman, even got a place to rest my pint.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

+pie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:05, Reply)

I seem to have walked into a Dear Deirdre column by mistake.

( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

walked wanked
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Get her to move her knees a little further back, then push her back down a little
If it's still shit, whip her knees out from under her, and go in from above. It's a bit like rape, only without the crying, whining, etc.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Thank you Agnostic Antichrist
Your advice shall be put into effect at approximately 10pm this evening.
The rest of you are cynical swine! My wife's hygiene is beyond reproach. Even if you clean an anus with bleach it still has a sort of unique tang.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Stop shoving your fucking nose up it then
You'll have Jeff behind you in no time if you bahave like a Yorkshire Terrier
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:17, Reply)

What the fuck is wrong with you?
You clean your wife's arse with bleach? Even for here that's far too much information, and also pretty sick.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Oh, she doesn't mind.
She's been dead for six months anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Also, tell the grubby bitch to wipe her arse properly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Sorry, I can't help liking it dirty

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Quite a few of the lads up the dogging hotspot
were complaining of 'sweetcorn in the foreskin' after last time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

But what about his wife?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

She gobbled them up

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Second officelol in an hour
disguised as a sneeze, this time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I'm chuckling away in the corner of our office
like I'm having some kind of seizure at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

There have been some glorious moments
amongst the 'what kind of sandwich are you having' posts today.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

I maintain that whoever did the
My Name is Luca thing years ago is the funniest thing I've ever read when it went:

If you hear some kind of trouble
Thats me upstairs, raping cats
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Does that count as one of your five a day?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

No, wrong end
Neither does a cucumber up the arse so you can stop this "health" kick too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:11, Reply)

The only logical conclusion
is that she's half skunk and doesn't appreciate being rogered by a man with inadequate thigh length.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

get one of those fake pine tree air fresheners and tape it to her coccyx.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

POTD!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Oh I just noticed your username isn't happybra
This has made me sad
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

*SADBRA FACE*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:13, Reply)

hahahhahaha

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Tell her to stop using her hand to wipe her arsehole, you might have to splash the cash and purchase something called 'toilet tissue paper'

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

...
...right.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

WTF @ this thread.

( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Something about you and anal sex

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Why did I remind you of this.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Try only having one knee on the bed...
...and the other leg raised so your foot is 'standing' on the bed.
Wear a fake 'tache and smile at yourself in the mirror for added 'Ron Jeremy' lols.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:13, Reply)

+ eats lots

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:16, Reply)

During or before?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:21, Reply)

AVOID SWEETCORN, THOUGH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Actually that's not a bad idea
minus the porn cliches. I'm going to put on some R Kelly, put the Krystal on ice and light some fiiine candles. Tonight the magic's coming in from 180 degrees; friendly fire at six o'clock... Oooh, baby!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Do you mean Cristal?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:39, Reply)

I ...don't know.
I was getting into 'freaky' character. I'm really more of a Louis Roederer man...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Don't waste your money.
Get some Pomagne and soap and tell her to wash her swampy-arse.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Pomagne is cider!
This really isn't my sister we're talking about, you know...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Meth?
I hope so.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:51, Reply)

I suspect that you should buy your good lady this
Safe For Work
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Viz's funniest thing ever.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Everyone's upset now.
I bloody well hope you're happy, Bara.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I'm very, very pleased
with myself. What more could an attention-seeking pervert ask for?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Sex with his (LONG LOST HALF) sister?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Buy her this for valentines day
www.nothingrelevant.com/wp-content/uploads/brush.gif

(it does look like it originated here)
(dchurch bah, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:54, Reply)