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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hey! It's a magical night
and you have a transporter that means you can turn up in the bedroom of any famous person/B3TAN and the police won't hassle you.

Where are you going first?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:09, 136 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
If it was a magical night Crunchy
I'd be getting ready to go out. As it is, I'm not.

I'll give some thought to the question.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:13, Reply)
it's only magical in that you can transport anywhere
and not get in trouble
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Is this question which series of famous people would you like to rape?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:14, Reply)
kind of
but only if you are the rapey sort of person
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:16, Reply)
I'll give everything a shot once
I suppose I'd start off with Linda Hamilton in her 20's, give her some guff that my names Kyle Reece and that I've been sent from the future to save her; see if she falls for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:22, Reply)
Urgh! she's a bit square jawed.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:31, Reply)
She'll do, every holes a goal

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:53, Reply)
Pffft, like I'm telling you.
Nice try, PC Plod.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:15, Reply)
FOILED AGAIN!
I thought that would be a watertight plan
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:16, Reply)
Michelle Rodriguez's house.
then Monty's for a big joint and a chance to meet the bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:17, Reply)
You and Monty in bed smoking a cone.
You'll be like the new Morecambe and Wise.

Bob: Give us a toke on your pipe Monts!
Monty: No, and get out of my bed.


(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:23, Reply)
hahahahah!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:24, Reply)
Ha, I like this.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:33, Reply)
I think you two make a great couple
but I see you more like Steptoe and Son.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:37, Reply)
or terry and june

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:42, Reply)
I've changed my mind
they are Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. I can just see Bert losing it and declaring something to be "fucking shit".
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Bert and Ernie are a gay couple.
Fact!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
Are they a couple?
I thought it was just the one.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:08, Reply)
Biggest worst kept secret in America.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:09, Reply)
me and my colleague got likened to them today
but it was quickly ammended to Beavis and Butthead
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:53, Reply)
Jeff of course.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:19, Reply)
which one?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Guess.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:20, Reply)
jeffry off of rainbow?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:21, Reply)
Bridges you fool!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:27, Reply)
gandalf?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:28, Reply)
You'd think they would all know by now.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:29, Reply)
GORDON!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:27, Reply)
*gophers*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:28, Reply)
I read that as "who are you going to fist"
I'm going to see David Denman. I had a dream about him last night. I didn't want to wake up.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:19, Reply)
and who will you fist?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:20, Reply)
no one!
unless he wants me to, but that better be after lots of making out and heavy petting
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:23, Reply)
He has a face like a pie.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:38, Reply)
and I want to eat it

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Cupid seems to have posted
on the other boards but not here - perhaps he's taken all the tales of supermodels and honda accords as true
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Wut?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:43, Reply)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10332390

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Hahaha!
*waits for gaz*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:53, Reply)
that's the problem
now there are loads of places for valentines messages not to come from
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:01, Reply)
Well Cupid isn't doing me any favours these days.
Clearly I've annoyed the arrow lobbing cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:43, Reply)
what happened to that girl you were texting/sexting
?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
No idea.
She remains very good at sending replies, but doesn't excel in sending messages in the first instance, so we'll have to wait and see, but I'm not doing all the running.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:53, Reply)
She's not good enough for you Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:54, Reply)
she might just be shy

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:57, Reply)
also
*there there*
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:00, Reply)
be bold Jeff
do the running. Then she'll have to show her cards and you'll know the story.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:07, Reply)
maybe you should stop calling him an arrow lobbing cunt

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
yeah
you have to be nice to godlets otherwise they fuck you up
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:52, Reply)
Well how else could you possibly describe Cupid?
Without using the words 'arrow lobbing cunt'?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:54, Reply)
mr arrow lobbing cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:57, Reply)
Pint-sized, hamster-cheeked, curly-haired shitshack?

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:58, Reply)
you win

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 20:59, Reply)
don't forget, he flies
and is the son of Venus
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:02, Reply)
an dvenus rhymes with penis

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:02, Reply)
fuck yeah penis

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:05, Reply)
man
I think I need to get me some pretty soon
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:30, Reply)
My birthday is next friday.
I better get some next weekend.
Or at least make out, damnit.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:32, Reply)
don't drink too much
or you won't remember you did
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:34, Reply)
I have never not remembered sex.
Once I did black out drunk, and didn't remember about 3 hours prior to sex. But definitely remembered the sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:40, Reply)
how do you know that you don't remember?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:43, Reply)
How could I forget?
/smooth
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Is that because you woke up with a sore bottom?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:44, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:54, Reply)
he used enough lube, then?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:55, Reply)

-_-
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Fiona Bruce.
The things I'd do to her would make a porn star blush. Next up- Ronni Ancona.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:08, Reply)
And I thought I was the one with wierd tastes in the opposite sex.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:10, Reply)
What's weird about wanting to have animal sex with Fiona Bruce?
She is gorgeous, intelligent, classy and posh.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:12, Reply)
Ok I give you that to some degree but Ronni Ancona?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:15, Reply)
Evening BGB.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:16, Reply)
Evening Al.
Sorted out your windscreen?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:16, Reply)
They ought to be replacing it tomorrow
weather permitting.

I got a speeding ticket today, I have just discovered that a transit connect has a lower speed limit on dual carriageways and single track roads. Bit of a shit way of finding out sadly.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:18, Reply)
*sadface*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Just would.
Over and over again. Like a monkey with a miniature cymbal.

I just love brunettes.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:17, Reply)
I don't think she'd share your sense of humour.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:19, Reply)
What sense of humour?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:20, Reply)
What about the wicky wicky?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:22, Reply)
Fiona Bruce loves hip hop.
Her favourite rapper is Kool Moe Dee.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:22, Reply)
And where did you find that out?
MR STALKER.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:25, Reply)
I sent her hundreds of hip hop CDs.
Kool Moe Dee was the only one that I didn't find in her bins.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:30, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:32, Reply)
I'm not joking.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Well she's a woman of taste.
I applaud your obsession.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:34, Reply)
Antiques Roadshow is in town on July 28th.
The one time that the court order doesn't apply, as she will have travelled near me, rather than me travelling to London to raid her bins and throw cherry stones at her windows.

I win.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Good luck with that Dozer.
I mean it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:49, Reply)
Watch this Bruce obsessed space.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:53, Reply)
Clearly never watched the Sketch Show then
mind you Karen Taylor's funbags were nicer.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0295819
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 6:55, Reply)
I've heard she likes to play the Crimewatch theme as she reaches the vinegar strokes.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:16, Reply)
She likes to think about Jill Dando

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:19, Reply)
So do I.
Which is lucky really.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:19, Reply)
*Will have nightmares*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Ooh, a nice slice of David Tennant
or possibly Jake Gyllenhaal. B3tans...well, that'd be telling.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:11, Reply)
It would be Monty wouldn't it.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:15, Reply)
He does have a nice smile
but no. I fear I would bore him terribly and Lusty could probably break me like a twig.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Monty, earlier:

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:17, Reply)
hitler was a bad bad bad man
but that looks like so much fun
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:02, Reply)
If he'd done this more often
maybe he'd have been less of a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:22, Reply)
is it someone people would think you'd like?
I think I like a load of b3tans.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:23, Reply)
By and large they are a surprisingly good looking bunch
the ones I've met, at least.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:27, Reply)
I've only met a couple. They were pretty much what I expected a b3tan to be.
But through the magics of the internets I have seen a fair bit of them, and some are easy on the eyes
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:31, Reply)
Yup
an unexpected bonus.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Name one of your crushes.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:35, Reply)
On here?
I don't think I want to start any gossip!
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:37, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post970925
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:37, Reply)
woooHoooo

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:38, Reply)
No.

(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:39, Reply)
too late!
you admited it ON THE INTERNETS
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:41, Reply)
I was admitting a preference for a specific type of cheap confectionery
nothing more.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:43, Reply)
yeah yeah yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:44, Reply)
What annoys you most berk?
The fact the internet believes you can give yourself oral pleasure, or this Chomp debate?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:45, Reply)
I wouldn't say I was annoyed about either
I know what I said, it's just other people taking it out of context...
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:48, Reply)
haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:40, Reply)
I have been saving that for aaaaaages

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:43, Reply)
nice work, lighty

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:44, Reply)
I think you should

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:38, Reply)
I think we should all name one.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:38, Reply)
a crush or a suggestion for Berk's crush?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:42, Reply)
our own crush

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:44, Reply)
I am naming nothing and no-one
if you wish to speculate, go right ahead.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Woo!
Green light given!

Let the speculation commence!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:47, Reply)
It's my wife
She spent a long time having a D&M with her after Tayyabs.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:50, Reply)
I'd rather her than you.

(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:51, Reply)
Ooof!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:56, Reply)
I was surprised by the lack of hideous freaks

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:35, Reply)
Harsh, but well....yeah, I guess.

(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:36, Reply)
I suppose it depends on your definition.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:36, Reply)
I think they keep their uglyness on the insides

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:37, Reply)
and then they speak

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:38, Reply)
A typical b3tan, earlier:

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:37, Reply)
WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT?!

(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:37, Reply)
I have recently discovered
dashing.livejournal.com

which is full of awesome pictures.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:44, Reply)
STOP POSTING MY PHOTO

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:38, Reply)
I think it has just spotted cake

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:51, Reply)
That's only because my face made the camera lens commit suicide.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:37, Reply)
is that you above, then?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 21:56, Reply)
No.*
* Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:05, Reply)

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