people are not as shit as the shitty royal mail
WHY is the royal mail SO SHIT?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:07, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

One of my birthday cards arrived last year.
Those kind people at Royal Mail had thoughtfully pre-opened it for me. Thus saving me time and effort.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

They also saved you the hassle of spending the tenner that was in it, innit.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

No money in that one, unfortunately.
They would have been perfectly justified in taking it in return for their helpful pre-opening of the envelope. Just think, I could have spend ages looking for my letter-opener before finally giving up in disgust, attempting to open it with a finger and giving myself a vicious paper cut.

I can't thank them enough.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I bet they took the trouble to spend the enclosed money, too
They're a model of efficiency
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Dunno but I wish people would
check their items BEFORE signing the bit of paper TNT give them saying it's in good condition so when they call me saying "oh it's all broken" I can say "did you sign the bit of paper that said it was in good condition because if you did you fucking moron then really I can just say you broke it and no, no you cannot have a new one this is a harsh lesson in life you stupid bint and oh is that your children in the background? I don't think you should be passing on all that stupid, yeah, yeah I do have your address right here, what's that you did break it and you're sorry? Good."
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Stupid bint?
I'm glad you realise that only a woman would make such a mistake.

Runs for cover
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Hi Jeff (4'2")

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Hi, My Mate Billy (post rake) (5' 4")
(Too obscure?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Haha not in the slightest.
It did look like a snake, I suppose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)

This one was a woman.
I have had many men go "you sent me a tap and waste and no levers for the pop up, my waste is broken!" and I say "it's a click clack, you just need to push it manually" then hear the tell tale "click" in the background and a mumbled "oh yeah fancy that kthnxbye"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Hahahaha this is what my staff have to deal with all day fucking long.
That and 'they can't have attempted delivery today - I was in all day. Ah oh apart from two fucking school runs, lunch and a trip to the shops. Oh and my doorbell doesn't work and the postcode I gave you is wrong'

TNT are utter fucking wankers though. They won't wait whilst people check their goods before signing, and they tell people 'unchecked' is OK when it isn't.

/talk shop
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

So what, they just leave before they get their slip signed?

( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

They just tell people to sign anyway and it will be fine.
They are liars.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I'll watch out for this, then.
Cheers for the pro tip.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

TNT are better than shittylink though who are incapable of delivering anything

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

DPD are good - they give hour delivery slots in advance by email.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

are they expensive?
We send a lot of heavy things
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Not really,
Max weight per carton 30kg for a standard rate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Ohhh this^
Your parcel has not been delivered and you now:

a. Have to wait 3 years for it to be returned to our "district office"
b. The district office is in Peru and its opening hours are Mondays (when it is a full moon) from 9.01am to 9.02am
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

haha
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Very near the truth I feel

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Are you still waiting for your first valentines day card?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

+ever

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Because it is not a private business.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

You should
have a look at the record of the Dutch company that proposes to take some of it (domestic deliveries) on.

Thay are worse in Holland than Royal Mail are here.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)

My partner Schteve works for them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)