New thread,
It's a bbc news link www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3418516/Tatt-mad-Deon-27-has-skull-for-a-face.html
This is why people are shit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:54, 185 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Looks like he already had a few facial tattoos
A tribal around his eye socket ala Tyson, and what looks like lettering over his upper lip, plus some shitty little bits in other places.

The guy's a retard, no question about it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

He's both a Layabout and workshy.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Yet can afford to get tattoos
Maybe the Daily Mail picked up on that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Shit tattoos are cheap though
Good ones cost money
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Don't I know it
But yes, I'd be amazed if he paid more than £20 an hour for his 'work'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

You got some shit ones then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I have a couple of inexpensive ones, but not scratcher-level
And one very expensive one.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I'm really wanting to get a tattoo!
Mrs Cow will most likely disembowel me though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

MTFU and get one!
If you're certain what you'd like, or at least the style, start researching good artists who specialise in the style you want.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

OK, deal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

For inspiration
Start here and work backwards through the pages. Also picking up a copy of Skin Deep or Total Tattoo magazine can't hurt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Try and go half way with her.
Tell her you'll have it somewhere covered and you'll pass the design by her.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Good plan - I like it!
Thanks both of you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I was really fucking brave with mine
by getting it before I met Ms Foxtrot. None since.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I got tattoos knowing not a lot of men like women with tattoos.
Fuck em!
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Quite right, tattoos are for you
The real reason I've only got the one is because I haven't thought of any others I want yet, and if I settled on something I really liked I'd have it done regardless. In theory.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

The thumb of judgement
hangs over both of us
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

It's like the Sword of Damocles
but wielding the incomparable power of SEXBAN
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

*fears*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

i know I'd be unlikely to
pick something which I wouldn't hate within a couple of years, but I like the idea that it is something about oneself which you chose, all other bits of bodies are what gets picked for you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Like hookers.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

True
And both can be removed with lasers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Is this the best you can do from all the news that's out there?

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I was going to link about Libya
but I don't really want to hear peoples shit opinions about the situation.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Ok here's an interesting article
www.nytimes.com/2011/02/22/world/africa/22tunisia.html
You can highlight any word on it and get a definition, I don't know if that's really patronising or really useful.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

The former.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

It's for americans though.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Ah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

That was interesting.
Thank you.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I can't think of a harder task than writing a constitution which will stick with a country for the next 100-200 years.
I'd just copy the others around the world.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I don't think the worse bit is ousting a dictator but the aftermath.
Isn't Tunisia mostly Muslim?

Wiki said yes. Then I hope that the country doesn't turn further reliously extreme.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I think the worst thing about ousting
would be the chemical smell of roses left behind

/inappropiate and childish
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Tat-mad Deon (27, 5'10" IQ 89)

( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

"But if your bad mindset and senseless passion compel you, wicked man, to so great a crime,
as to assault our head with your snares,
ah!, then you will suffer by a terrible fate,
when, with feet bound, radishes and mullets will run you through your gaping gate."

Classics, kids. It's fun.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

If that Ah! was an Aieee!
I would have had that down as Greek.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Or an oi moi.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

So...
you want radishes up your gaping gate? Sounds a bit painful
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Ginger is more common
Figginglolz
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Tasty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

With spines on.
The poem's "You want to fuck my boyfriend. If you do, I'm going to ass rape you."
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

best of all the rapes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I'm assuming with a fish, rather than a hair style

( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Apparently mullets are lightly barbed.
Ouch.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Also, perms are poisonous.

( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

nice

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Specfuckingtacular
Men like him give hope to the likes of me. Possibly he was old before his time anyway but that makes him look 40-odd.

What the fuck was the tattooist thinking? Could he not at least have said "are you SURE?"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

If I were a tattooist
I would make customers sign a waiver to say they are sober and want the work done. Old star face from a while back wouldn't be sueing me because she no longer wants to look like a fucking moron. No sir.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Quite a few do that
Decent tattoo artists won't do necks, faces or hands unless the person is already covered. According to the article, this guy has a lot of tattoos, and looks like he also had some facial tatts already.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

As you said though, decent tatts cost money
and I'm guessing he didn't go to Xed le Hed for this tatt. Maybe the person responsible doesn't turn down work, however preposterous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

my friend got a drunk tatto
it was only a big "VII", so we asked him why he was so embarrassed by it. Turns out it was because he'd played so much Final Fantasy VII
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

It's massively irresponsible of any tattooist to do ink whilst the subject is drunk
How can you expect someone to make a lifelong decision if they're unable to decide which nightclub to go to later?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

That is the gayest thing I have ever heard
(apart from 'I AM MARTIN, 32, A BOTTOM INSPECTOR FROM THETFORD')
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

before he parted your buttocks?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

"Monty, you are the
weakest sphincter"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I applaud him for his choice of game
But would mock him for getting a tattoo of it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I like the Roman numerals style of tattoo
but wouldn't know what number to get!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I'd probably end up with 'MCMLXXXVIII', as I was born that year
I'm also mildly proud I just remembered that (numerals, not my year of birth
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

You nicked this off Kitty

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I did not.
Stop lying.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Did too!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

fightfightfightfightfightfightfight!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Shut your whore mouth and acknowledge how witty it was for me to say BBC news link and then link to the sun which no one has noticed.
How was the rest of the night?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

has noticed cared
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

No-one clicked on it., that's why.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

^ this ^
it's banned here as "adult/inappropriate".

ironic, since nobody who is adult enough to have the capacity to read, reads "the sun".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Shan't
Was good.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Liar it was downhill from the moment I left.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

we just sat there
moping about wishing you'd stayed
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I'm going to belive this because it flatters my ego.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Actually I posted about it last week, so it's glass cock anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

The Sun? Fucking hell Chompy, I thought you had a functioning brain?
I've decided where I want my first tattoo, this is a good start.

Sadly, I'm not fully decided on what I want, but I also know I need to grow the weedy little fucking things I call arms first.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Damn you, Thalidomide!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Would read again 10/10

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Best post of all time ******
Paul Ross, News of the World
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Christ, what a fat, useless cunt.
I'm still fucking angry at him.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

If you take the The News of the World
you deserve everything you get. I haven't seen Paul Ross anywhere else for years.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I don't read NOTW

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I don't even read QOTW

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I didn't pay any attention to it whatsoever last week
First time I've ever done that, I think
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I haven't done for probably a year.
It's just too fucking tedious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Are you getting him confused with Littlejohn?
Or are you just a perpetually burning ball of gaseous hate?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I hate the fat fucking cunt
Because he loudly announced the ending to The Usual Suspects, as I was halfway through watching it. (He was on TV as we'd paused it)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Argh!
Prick! I love this film
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I turned it off, I was fucking furious
Still not watched it
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

It is still good to watch even when you know

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Aye, I've heard that more than once

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I knew who Keyser Soze was in the first 5 minutes, are you some sort of simpleton?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

That is absolutely inexcusable
Especially for a so-called "film critic". Regardless of how obvious the ending you should at least be allowed to work it out for yourself
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Did he go in dry?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

POTD

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Penis Ouch Too Dry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Spit on it then

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

....as you said to the Ross

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

he looks a right cunt

( zulu eh?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

He was on Jeremy Kyle last week, he cheered when he was booed
Extermination is the only answer for these people
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Or exhibition
Round his sort up and put them in some sort of Zoo of Cautionary Tales. Although if this happens Kyle will claim it was his idea and set himself up as a pioneer and visionary.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Jeremy Kyle is a total fucking cunt.
And his programme is a circus.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

He is a highly qualified counciller who saves LIVES with his take no shit attitude

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Well that's me off into town at lunchtime
for a new sarcasmograph
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Try Robert Dyas
JML have an amazing one that doubles as a rollneck jumper
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Sold

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Which council is he on?
With all that counselling he does I'm surprised he has the time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Oh do piss off!
I have a music question for you but I think gaz might be more appropriate
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Yes, this is true
Derby looks like a holding pen for his show
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

add sheffield to that
well, the scummy bits
( zulu eh?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Let's keep this simple
The North look like a holding pen for The Jeremy Kyle show
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

The North look like a holding pen?
Yessum boss, dey shore doo
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Feel free to add these to my posts as an when they are needed
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

*stores on desk*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Let's make it even more so.
The 'working' class looks like a.....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

work?
that rules out the north then, they're all on welfare aren't they?
( zulu eh?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

They are indeed.
The phrase 'working class' is one of the biggest misnomers of all time - since 'Barry White'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Value Added Tax?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

This is funny because it means "Tax added to value of goods"
but it looks like "Value added to tax"

/chompy
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

or "everyone who isn't Monty..."?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

that's just like the one I was going to have done
but it wouldn't be original any more
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I can't even imagine the amount of drink I'd need to imbibe to think this would be a good idea
And Hello all
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Morning!
(only just)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Just in time for lunch

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Woop!
I'm fucking starving - intake today has been 100% coffee
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

sigh
coffee cock and man fat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

If someone didn't do this, I was going to strikethrough my own post
Still hungry though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I just ate some glue off my finger thinking that it was dead skin...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Shit in any bags so far today?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Nah, went at the wife's work!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Good work that man

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

which woul dhave been better?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Yeah, hungry for cock and manfat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

You know it darling

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Coffee and two slices of (slightly burnt) toast

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I'm going with the random flavoured noodles from my drawer
*fears*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

The last time I picked up some noodles while shopping
I ended up with ten packets of "Chicken Flavour". I did not like.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

The last packet
tasted like "extremely spicy unknown seafood"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

rnt) toast ttered ass
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Just scrape off the lumpy bits and bob's yer uncle

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

FUCK OFF BERT

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I gather from lurking the correct response is....
FUCK OFF YERSELF
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

And no, I don't know who bert is

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

You haven't lived

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

most people on here haven't

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

lurking myself being Bert

(sorry, it was just too obvious)(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)

How long of denying I'm not bert
will it be before it's accepted that I'm not him?
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)

It's until someone new turns up
Oh, FUCK OFF BERT!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I suggest making
a second account which can take the flack
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Can't be arsed, I'll take my punishment
until I'm killed or you find someone better
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

or you go mad and
start posting pictures of toilets with poo on and squid porn
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Someone nicked the hard drive with that stuff on it

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)

hai bert!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

How do you know?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

I think these days it's just safer to yell "FUCK OFF BERT" first and then ask questions later.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

So bert not liked much, any particular reason?

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:21, Reply)

We shall let Monty answer this I think

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

The fuck off bert meme is shit
Just like 99% of all b3ta memes
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I wasn't surprised to be sweared at immediately coming here, it's just like my local

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:32, Reply)

If they swear at you down 'the local' it's either shit or they hate you

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)

people are not as shit as the shitty royal mail
WHY is the royal mail SO SHIT?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

One of my birthday cards arrived last year.
Those kind people at Royal Mail had thoughtfully pre-opened it for me. Thus saving me time and effort.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

They also saved you the hassle of spending the tenner that was in it, innit.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

No money in that one, unfortunately.
They would have been perfectly justified in taking it in return for their helpful pre-opening of the envelope. Just think, I could have spend ages looking for my letter-opener before finally giving up in disgust, attempting to open it with a finger and giving myself a vicious paper cut.

I can't thank them enough.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I bet they took the trouble to spend the enclosed money, too
They're a model of efficiency
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Dunno but I wish people would
check their items BEFORE signing the bit of paper TNT give them saying it's in good condition so when they call me saying "oh it's all broken" I can say "did you sign the bit of paper that said it was in good condition because if you did you fucking moron then really I can just say you broke it and no, no you cannot have a new one this is a harsh lesson in life you stupid bint and oh is that your children in the background? I don't think you should be passing on all that stupid, yeah, yeah I do have your address right here, what's that you did break it and you're sorry? Good."
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Stupid bint?
I'm glad you realise that only a woman would make such a mistake.

Runs for cover
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Hi Jeff (4'2")

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Hi, My Mate Billy (post rake) (5' 4")
(Too obscure?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Haha not in the slightest.
It did look like a snake, I suppose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)

This one was a woman.
I have had many men go "you sent me a tap and waste and no levers for the pop up, my waste is broken!" and I say "it's a click clack, you just need to push it manually" then hear the tell tale "click" in the background and a mumbled "oh yeah fancy that kthnxbye"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Hahahaha this is what my staff have to deal with all day fucking long.
That and 'they can't have attempted delivery today - I was in all day. Ah oh apart from two fucking school runs, lunch and a trip to the shops. Oh and my doorbell doesn't work and the postcode I gave you is wrong'

TNT are utter fucking wankers though. They won't wait whilst people check their goods before signing, and they tell people 'unchecked' is OK when it isn't.

/talk shop
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

So what, they just leave before they get their slip signed?

( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

They just tell people to sign anyway and it will be fine.
They are liars.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I'll watch out for this, then.
Cheers for the pro tip.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

TNT are better than shittylink though who are incapable of delivering anything

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

DPD are good - they give hour delivery slots in advance by email.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

are they expensive?
We send a lot of heavy things
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Not really,
Max weight per carton 30kg for a standard rate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Ohhh this^
Your parcel has not been delivered and you now:

a. Have to wait 3 years for it to be returned to our "district office"
b. The district office is in Peru and its opening hours are Mondays (when it is a full moon) from 9.01am to 9.02am
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

haha
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Very near the truth I feel

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Are you still waiting for your first valentines day card?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

+ever

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Because it is not a private business.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

You should
have a look at the record of the Dutch company that proposes to take some of it (domestic deliveries) on.

Thay are worse in Holland than Royal Mail are here.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)

My partner Schteve works for them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)

On both that link and the mail link
They mention that he is "Jobless" or "Workshy" but don't say he claims benefits or anything. My uncle is workshy, he's also fucking loaded and if he wanted to tattoo his face it would be his choice. No-one seems to give this guy shit for his tats
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 14:04, Reply)