Ironic punishments for criminals/people that have pissed you off
For example: rapists are locked in a cell with Chompy, Bruce Forsyth has people tap dance on him until he becomes mush on the floor or we declare on Tony Blair to steal the oil from his aga.

Alt: What is your favourite bread, I am torn between granary and sour dough.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:15, 158 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

DF to be sung to death by Dido.
And then haunted by her voice for all eternity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)

POTD
It was worth the threadstomp for this
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Fuck the fuck off you fucking fuck
I can't believe I apologised for calling you a prick yesterday
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Tell him you'd like to see him locked in a room full of chocolate money

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Hahaha
Well played
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

YEAH!
Tell me that DF, it'd be REALLY FUNNY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Hit a nerve did she?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Not in the slightest.
I see why a money jibe would be amusing - but that particular one simply isn't.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

nommy nommy money

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I think I found it funny
Because I wouldn't have considered mocking you for being utterly shit with money, too below the belt for me. Considering you likened me to James Corden makes me more forgiving than Jesus.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

You can eat the chocolate money then, chubnut.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

*sighs*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

'sighs extra extra large'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I <3 this

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

you "nutsack" it?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

You fart at this?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

it also isn't ironic

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Precisely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Yes it is
I am Alanis Morrissette AICMFP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I would like to see Jeremy Clarkson be turned into petrol
And used to power a very crap car.

Alt: Foccacia.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Foccacia is a type of car right?
From one of those far east companies.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Half right, it's Eastern European
Like everything in the former USSR, it runs on bread.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I'm not even on here and I get called a rapist
ffs.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

You are on here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

We thought you weren't on here because you were off raping

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Verbal water torture for Chompy
He gets told shit jokes by Michael McIntyre, who then takes the time to explain why the joke is funny, even though it patently isn't. Forever.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

or just make him buy and drink herbal vitamin water three times a day
it's not ironic, but he would really hate it. esp when he had no money left over for beer and cigarettes after the first 3 days.

mmm. vitamin water. might go and get one now, actually.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I'd like to kick the ears off the person who kicked my wing mirror off
alt: salt and pepper crust tiger bread, or turkish bread.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Jamie Oliver to be drowned in olive oil
Freud to be raped to death by his son
Steve Irwin killed by a 'cute little blighter'. Hang on, are stingrays cute?
David 'Call Me Dave' Cameron and Vipros to have a Smug-off, TO THE DEATH!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I'm not smug enough to kill anyone with it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

AA for using the cringing tabloid phrase 'call me Dave'
to be buried upto his neck in the commons and drowned in MP cum
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I stole it off Chompy
...hang on, that's no better, is it?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Just a note on the woman who inspired this
Her husband paid for the wedding. The benefits she was claiming were a result of her failing to say she was living with her husband - hence being caught out by wedding pictures.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

how the fuck did she manage to get a husband who could afford that
she mings.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Rich people are generally very, very crap in bed
:-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I'm choosing to read that as a veiled insult to Swipey

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

You're wrong there
It wasn't remotely veiled
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

i'm not rich
you are rich when you stop noticing what day of the month is payday. i either need to earn a LOT more or to spend a LOT less to reach this stage!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

so...
what you are saying is that you are shit in bed?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

you might think so
or you might think you never knew what sex was like before that night of whitehot passion.

but i think the former will make it easier to live your pallid little life in the aching bitter knowledge that you'll never get to find out, so let's agree on that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I'll have to make do with the great sex I regularly get from the woman I love then
what a shame.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

it IS a shame
but i think you'll come to terms with it. eventually. in 2018 or so.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

and you'll be waiting?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

oh god yes
i've had a widow's walk built and everything!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

nice
I'll bear that in mind
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I disagree
I ceased noticing post my foray into quizland, although I'll probably have to pay attention again next month, and what I won is probably less than your take-home
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

after tax
i take home about £11,500 per month i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

That makes you rich by anyone's standards
Apart from those whose first name is "Sheikh"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

it would be fucking lovely
if it were anything like the truth
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I wasn't expecting anyone to actually believe you there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

what would that be anyway...
£138,000 after tax, so about £200,000 per annum?

and to think partners in city firms earn three times that. blimey.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Are you saying rswipe is very, very crap in bed?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

that is my understanding
it's also the subject of quite a lot of graffiti
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

...on motorway underpasses, in 8' high letters

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Are we basically doing the opposite of 'Internet White Knighting'?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

'Bullying, online'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Makes a change from others bullying me, I'm fine with this

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

It's ok, I'm bullying you up there ^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Ahh, just seen it

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

and I'm bullying you down the page
If that is any help
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Sorry, didn't actually notice that
Ah well, it was fun while it lasted
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

how very dare you
lie back and i'll show you just how amazing my blow-

oh, that was what you wanted ALL ALONG, wasn't it? devious fuckstrot, more like.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

This is back to the "99.9% of men should be hit with a spade" thing, isn't it?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Some of us belong in that 0.1%!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I have made my list.
Further to the earlier list, I am adding Andrew Garfield and Henry Cavill.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

So, it's basically anyone who has played a hero in a film you've liked over the last few years?
And then anyone who is soon to play a superhero? If that's the case, why no Chris Pine?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Nah mate
I'm on the list
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

That too
Darth will not be spaded.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

*smugs*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

*pats Darth on the head*
You get one day of me being really nice while your rat's poorly. Make the most of it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

*catches train*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

I wouldn't bother
I'm making the most of my half day off. I didn't even get changed out of my PJs to go feed my cousin's cat.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

No, it's not
If it was, it would include James Van Der Beek, since he is the hero (of sorts) in my FAVOURITE FILM EVER, and it doesn't, does it?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Doesn't he play a complete bastard?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Hence the qualifying "(of sorts)"
If there is a hero in the film, it's him.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Bit like Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Yes

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Fucking superb character

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Not a SUPERhero though
Unless his superpower is astonishingly inept drug dealing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Hey, that scene at Rupert's with Mitchell more than makes up for the inept-ness
That is fucking awesome. And probably entitles him to be a superhero.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

weird use of the inclusive in that sentence

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

We call them 'Afro-caribbean gentlemen' these day. Tsk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

men +people
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

You're probably right
I'm having another misandric day though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Misanthropy's so much easier, you don't have to waste energy discriminating.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I suppose so
I'm a convert.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Nice use of the politically-correct-strikethrough there

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I'm just a politically correct ionclusive hater
Everyone gets their chance
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Especially THOSE gays.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

haha
I'm still mortified about that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

You must be positively humiliated.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

what isn't??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

death by a thousand paper cuts
For my examiner please

Alt: I'm not really very keen on bread. I had some nice onion stuff once
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Ant 'n' Dec taken to the jungle,
and bummed by various Australian animals. Kangaroos, koalas etc.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

People who don't indicate when I'm about to cross the road to be locked in a room with one of those people who works at an airport waving flashy things at planes
Alt: the chilli garlic keema naan I had on Saturday night at Joy Raj in Bristol
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I am confused.
Why should people indicate when you're about to cross the road?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Because he is the a queen
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Forgive my lack of specificity
They should indicate if they are about to turn into the road I am crossing, as otherwise I have no way of knowing that they intend to do so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

they indicate the "bums against the wall lads!" sign

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

People who are driving cars which don't seem to have indicators
tend not to indicate when turning off etc and then act all funny when you nearly step out in front of them due to not being able to read their minds and realise that they were about to turn off.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Alanis Morrisette
to be poked to death with 10,000 spoons whilst someone repeatedly screams the definition of irony in her face.
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

hahahha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I think they should play that fucking song to her a thousand times
Each time having someone different point out the fundamental flaws in her lyrics
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

As long as she's being poked to death with spoons at the same time, it's fine.

EDIT - oh and I do live in Birmingham if you end up here for training, gimme a shout and we'll go for a pint or something.
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Fucking right I will

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

If you can put up with Blackpool, you can manage Birmingham
it's not so bad.
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I believe you
Especially since I won't really have to see Birmingham, unlike Blackpool
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Me too!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

^ This
Possibly inspired by Ed Byrne's rather good rant on this subject?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I've never seen any Ed Byrne, surprisingly
apart from a few episodes of Mock the Week. it's entirely possible I have subconsciously stolen it from somewhere though.
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Don't know if you can get youtube at work
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT1TVSTkAXg - but this is very, very funny.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Since I am currently slumped in the dark in the microscope room
I shall give it a listen.

EDIT - snigger.
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I just want Kanye West's funeral to be interrupted by Taylor Swift.
Alt: Anything my dad makes. It's invariably delicious.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Haha, that's fantastic!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Joke around the time of Kanye going to Farrah Fawcett's funeral "Michael Jackson had the best death of all time" etc etc etc

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

It wouldn't shock me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

POTD
That is genius
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

NakedApe being stomped to death by a thread.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Hahaha

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

You know this thread is better

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Bono - bleed to death - on a Sunday.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Excellent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

It was that or having lemons shoved up his arse.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Or getting lost in an umarked town doomed to wander forever unable to find his way out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Shot by Martin Luther King's grandchild.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Right off to the gym, shall I doing running or lifting?
And shall I listen to The Misfits or lamb of God?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

+ shirt

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

and 'Dido' for the iPod.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

running
lamb of god
ambulance
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

It's ok I'm not a fatty
Cheeky lunchtime 10k isn't an issue
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I'd think that running at LoG speed would be enough to cause damage to anyone

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Fair comment, but it works for me, maybe every other beat is the answer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Carcass would be more fun, methinks

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

No one cares.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Lamb Of God have only done one good song
And I know 2 good songs by Misfits, so I'll say Misfits.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

James Corden - Starvation - in a box - at McDonalds - burgers made of loved ones etc...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Monty to be arrested for possession of MDs
Being unable to post bail due to be a gargantuan fuckwit with money, he gets locked up (complete with prison haircut) until trial, during which time word filters through that he's up on nonce charges and gets beaten by the gangs of Muslim inmates that the Daily Mail harp on about.

His Jewish defense lawyer, having seen the Nazi memorabilia in Monty's flat (which is later broken into by Shoreditch hipster cunts who nick all his vinyl and scratch the shit out of them at their ironic disco wankfests), 'accidentally' lets slip to the jury about Monty's various nefarious exploits and preference for pre-pubescent boys, thus guaranteeing a 15 year stretch inside.

He loses the meagre child visitation rights he had, and never sees his daughter again. She grows up with the psycho ex and soon becomes an ASBO-accruing illiterate benefits fraud, who marries a black wannabe gangster called 'Daryl' and spawns numerous rugrats with charming names like 'Shakeee$ha' and 'Fo-Quee-Quee'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Modern day Shakespere

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

'Modern day Shakespere, mean mean strides'
Private joke is private.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)

*Shakespeare
*nods knowingly at private joke*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I was using one of the seven spelling variants know to have been used by the man.
*does smartarse Oliver Hardy face whilst wobbling head and twiddling bow tie*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

As an epilogue
Your pathetic life story will be made into a straight-to-DVD film by Guy Ritchie. You will be played by a 70 year old Julian Clary.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Now you go too far, sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

JAMES FUCKING CORDEN

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Are you a 101 years early for this joke?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Wrong album, smartypants.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Hahahahaha I wish I'd never pointed out how fat you are now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I must have missed Monty pissing on your chips this morning.
Harsh.
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

He likened me to James Corden
And keeps banging on about me being fat.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

sorry...
about being like a kettle drum because I'm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Mecha-lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

He likened you to James Corden?!
I think you were quite mild in that case.
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

You sure he's not only said it once?
And your blubber is simply echoing the words back into your ears again and again?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Hahaha!
It's more funny coming from you because you're actually fat!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Not anymore, chubby!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

AHAHAHA!
Oh this is brilliant!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Very well played.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)