Everyone's about to start nuking each other
You can take ten people in your bunker, and use them to repopulate when it's safe to come out. Who's allowed in?

Alt: My cats arrive today! Tell me about your pets.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:18, 139 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Jeff Bridges and 9 Jeff Bridges look-a-likes.

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:20, Reply)

But then all your children would be brothers and sisters.
Your new world would look like Cornwall.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Hahahaha
(genuine amusement, not sycophantic laughter)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Some of the Jeff Bridges look-a-likes can be women.

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I don't like this idea.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Oi I'm Cornish and I never fucked a relative!
They're all ugly.
( Peej, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Hmm wooks, clenders, lusty and lab (so he can make us drinks)
The room I saved on people would be filled with a pool table.

No repopulating afterwards, people just ruin things
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:25, Reply)

You're having cats for lunch?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Lol, lol and thrice lol.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Titter ye not.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

A friend of mine was taught to ride a bicycle by Frankie Howerd.
FACT-BOMB!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

That is the most unusual euphemism for bumsex I've ever heard

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:30, Reply)

You are the expert in these matters

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I would not recommend
that you 'bow to his expertise'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

:(
I changed it because lunch is boring, and I am excited about cats.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I thought you already had a cat?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)

She ran away in October
But soon I will have Sancho and Jemima :D


(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Can you make that a bit bigger for me? Thanks.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I don't know how these things work
You fix it if you're so bothered.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

<img src="http://i787.photobucket.com/albums/yy155/belladonnaanodyne/cats.jpg" height="360" width="270">
That's the code
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I think you accidentally added some 0s on those dimensions

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Ta

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)

I've tried seeing it from FUCKING SPACE but I just can't make it out.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

What happened to those magic eye pictures that were popular for 10 minutes?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Monty destroyed them all
along with Furbies and those keyring things with pets in you had to clean their shit up and stuff
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

It's true - I did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)

What did you do with naked tyre man?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)

And 'flash his bum' car toy man?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)

And 'Billy Bass' the signing fish.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

REMEMBER WHEN HE GOT POSSESSED??

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I wouldn't fucking bother.
/emosexual


Alt: the briny tears of a man on the brink IE ME
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:27, Reply)

that seems like an odd pet

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I don't know, the feed is cheap and the fucker doesn't need walking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)

that has amused me more than it should

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Alt: my cat moved to the country because I couldn't look after him properly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Sounds like a right pantomime.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Only if it wore boots

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I have a fish
He is called Neil. He swims
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Mine would be
These two: 3.bp.blogspot.com/_lVsR7e8VsvM/S_q0ZY5NyFI/AAAAAAAAERs/iz4-zy2o0xQ/s400/y-tu-mama-tambien_l.jpg

My friend Lucy, because she's very intelligent, so eugenics says she's coming.

Also: Jake Gyllenhaal, Paolo Nutini, Conor Oberst, Stella Creasy, Michaela Conlin, Regina Spektor.

Because I'm still being extra-super-nice to Darth while Eric is ill, he gets a spot too.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Are they not like, 12?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

My panic stricken search of IMDB says not.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I'm 32 actually
you flatterer
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

What do you do for a living?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

And where was it again you live?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

men

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

TELLING COMMIES HOW TO ANAL-FIST

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

That's quite good
Maybe it was wrong of me to write you off as a purveyor of tired, tragicly outdated jokes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I did a small lol at this
lol - just like that
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

UR Tommy Cooper AICM on-stage heart attack

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)

In Sunderland I believe
*waves hands out at front*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Paolo Nutini
is quite possible the biggest cunt ever to walk the earth.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Aren't you supposed to stick up for your own?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

That wanker is not even one of my own species.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

The similarities are remarkable
Scottish - check
Claims to be able to play guitar despite lack of evidence to support this - check
Purveyor of tired old shit everyone's heard before - check
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I don't care.
He is extremely fuckable.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

able ing annoying.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Are you sulking because you didn't get a spot?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I'm afraid not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:59, Reply)

He should get with TGB then
Match made in heaven
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)

he is a massive gurning belmer.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Kriss Akabusi.
Just him. I don't reckon he'd get annoying after a while, at all. Not Kriss.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)

You just want him to pat you on the cock and whisper awooga

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I think the "wonderful" Jenny Eclair
would also not lead me to smashing her fucking stupid face flat with a shovel after 5 mins. Comedy gold she is
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Hang about
Is Jenny Eclair a comedienne?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Cow says no

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

So does everyone else in the world

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Yeah she really is fucking great.
So is Ranet Reet Rowtaaaargh. I like her a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)

+mounted on my wall to allow me to open beer bottles with her "teeth"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

beer bottles safes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Hahahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I knew you'd like that one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Let me see...
My best friends Jamie and Nicola, who serves a dual purpose as she is great company and eminently shaggable
I'd better nominate a couple of B3tans, so Disasterprone for conversation and Bella to run the country once we establish a new government, and blowjobs
I ought to name a vaguely good-looking man to ensure attractiveness in my new country, but bollocks am I saving hot girls who won't shag me, so the rest goes on my harem;

Eva Green
Alyson Hannigan
Kristina Rihanoff
Scarlett Johansson
and Ms Foxtrot

I absolutely did not nearly forget her
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I'm looking forward to the end of the world now.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Dibs

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles, Nicki Aycox, Eliza Dushku.
One male and one female of each of the following
Two hot, mega smart scientists/doctors
Two hot, artistic/literary geniuses
Two hot chefs.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)

May I nominate Ben Goldacre for the first category?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

*googles*
No.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Brian Cox then.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

No.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Don't fancy yours much

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

nice!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

choose me
I fit in all of your last 3 categories
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I don't see a 'beardy gaylord' category.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)

I fucking hate you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Apart from the "hot" part

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1095084
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

My lad's called Tigger and he looks like a little girl.
He has a tiny face and I sometimes call him Kitteny Spears.
He hides like Kato and ambushes me. He can turn violent in a flash, but we have nice snogs.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I really hoped you were going to write
"OBVIOUSLY I'D SAVE MY FIANCE OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T BE ENGAGED"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)

I was saving that for when someone replied, but you've ruined it now.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I like ruining things
GLESS
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

*sax solo*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Are you in The Zutons?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Nope, I'm this fella:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0JLH7M4Dg4
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Bob Holness?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I was going to say that
but thought better of it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Nope, Raphael Ravenscroft

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

i think i'd divide the characteristics that i wanted to preserve and then choose appropriately
sort of like noah's ark but for different abilities.

and i wouldn't let the races mix, so we'd end up with lots of goodlooking children in one place, lots of clever ones in another...

i don't have any pets because i live in a second floor flat in kensington and pets don't really appreciate the local bars and shops. or me being in them until 2am every night. but my brother bought a budgie which we keep at my dad's, it's very tame and quite sweet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

you are proposing apartheid?
Blimey Swipe.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

as you wouldn't be around to see it
i don't think you need to worry about it.

go back to bumming little boys in your lonely echoing thread above...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

My my.
Who has pissed on your cornflakes?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

"we said meh.
m. e. h.

meh."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

looks like I am back in Swipola's bad books.
Lucky me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)

EDIT: Sorry, I'm genuinely interested in why you wouldn't let races mix.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)

or nazi

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

ha
i was just being v silly. but i didn't mean races as in nationality, colour, religion. i meant my new ability-races as in "looks", "brains", "sporting ability" etc.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I'd only take people I could have a conversation with. If I took a super hot celebrity then I'd just sit there drooling and incapable of forming coherent sentences.
So, probably a few b3tans, probably a few friends.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

You could take N Dubz with you.
Go on. Please. Take N Dubz.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I've been listening to n-dubz everyday since Christmas

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)

wot about the dog??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

you can reproduce with the dog all you like

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)

mmmmmm
licky
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

And upset Jeff?
for shame
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I think it should be encouraged.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall & Nigella Lawson for MAKING food, you pedantic bastard.
Eliza Dushku, Gabrielle Union, Christina Hendricks, Alyson Hannigan and Alexa Davalos for perving on.
Only 2 b3tans, Taz44 & WallyEllySue
and Dylan Moran to keep me amused.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I wouldn't eat Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Duly changed, better?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Bagsie the Nigella rump

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

His dad was The Who's publicity chap.
FACT-BOMB!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I went to the same school as the Archbishop who presided over the wedding of Jug-Ears and Dashboard-Face
FACT-BOMB!!!!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

I live in the same country as the Queen
FACT-BOMB!!!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I am in love with Monty.
FACT BOMB!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)

you are the Arsebishop of Cunterbury
FACT-BOMB!!!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)

*applauds*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

FACT-BOMBS
Are fucking bent!!!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)

*names an Australian band*
Jeff you utter bender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I suspect in a post-apocalyptic world
you'd probably want someone like Ray Mears or something, but I wouldn't have sex with him even if I was using someone elses vagina.
I second Applebite in saying: doctors, cooks/forage-y, farmer-y types and people who can do DIY/fix things. Preferably obscenely cute and incredibly smart. Although that of course would make them a lot less likely to want to reproduce with me.

I have a cat called Poirot, although she doesn't live with me. She has a moustache.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

My friend has a cat called Adolf
as it has a fantastic black tuft of fur just at the 'tache level. He was most entertained to find Adolf is a girl
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)

My cunt stepbrother wanted to call her Adolph
before we knew she was a girl. He then persisted in trying to call her Hercules instead. No. The cat is called Poirot. (I admit this sounds totally ridiculous when calling her in to be fed, so we trained her to come when we whistle instead)
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

I like your friend.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

He is a good chap

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

*ctrl+F..... G o n z......* Oh, fine, fair enough =(
/ac
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I had a fantastic lunch
Got my haircut which included a head massage from a girl with fantastic norks, I like norks, it is beautifully sunny, I had a delicious risotto and I'm out for a big and free night out tonight.

Today is good.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

All this may indeed be true
but you are still a fucking spastic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:58, Reply)

You old charmer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I have two cats called Gilbert and George and they are just as mental as their namesakes.
But not as talented.
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Are they benders, too?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Might be. *shrugs*
But as they've been neutered, we'll never know.
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:15, Reply)

ten to repopulate the world with?
Fiona Bruce
Swipe
Harley Davis
Sian Williams

Actually, I'll just have that lot.

Don't want to bite off more than I can chew.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:20, Reply)