Who wants a fucking fight then.
Eh? EH? You fucking want some do ya?

*puts up dukes*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:02, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*headbutts*
Have a bit of that son.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Right, outside..
We'll sort this out on the cobbles. All in or a straightener?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)

This is no time to be thinking about your hair

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Would any of us here assembled actually fancy ourselves as tidy?
I reckon I'd do alright in a proper fight as long as my opponent had no experience of martial arts, boxing or, y'know, actual fighting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

I reckon I could take you.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I reckon he'd let you.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Correct

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

+up the arse

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I reckon he'd let her

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Not so much

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Yes, well, you have an advantage
In that I wouldn't hit you. I would attempt to end the fight by picking you up and putting you in a bin, which I imagine would be entirely doable
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Oh sadface.
You wouldn't really put me in a bin, would you?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Stick to your guns Darth
They'll give you the sad eyes and when you hesitate they'll kick you in the shins.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Yes. Shins.
Nowhere else.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

I fucking would if you were clearly intent on hurting me, yes
My usual recourse with fighty girls would be to trip them up and sit on them but I fear you would snap like a twig
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

But bins are icky.
Plus, I probably wouldn't try *that* hard to hurt you.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Depending on how much effort you put into hurting me I could maybe offer you a recyclng bin full of card an' that
go for the bollocks or the eyes and it's straight in the compost, however
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)

*makes notes*
What about kidney-punches?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)

If you can hurt any part of my stomach then you are strong enough to run away from

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)

What if she came at you with a bottle? Or knew Karate?
(see In Bruges for why this is fucking hilarious)
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

If it's a deadly weapon then all bets are off
(seen it, awesome)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Of course not, I'm on the internet.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

This is why I ask
If someone with actual real life physical attributes is lurking amongst us we must vanquish them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I have size on my side but am soft as shite.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)

This
I'm big enough that I don't generally get bothered. If I did, I doubt I'd win.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I'm surprisingly strong but lack any kind of technique
The only way to get good at fighting is to do it a lot, so if I was started on by someone who does that sort of thing a lot I'd probably get my arse kicked.

Again.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I've been involved in half a dozen or so disagreements at the football.
I won none of them.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)