Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Jeez Louise! Someone start a new thread already.Talk about anything you like apart from romance.
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:59,
180 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Who wants a fucking fight then.Eh? EH? You fucking want some do ya?
*puts up dukes*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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Right, outside..We'll sort this out on the cobbles. All in or a straightener?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:04,
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This is no time to be thinking about your hair(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:07,
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Would any of us here assembled actually fancy ourselves as tidy?I reckon I'd do alright in a proper fight as long as my opponent had no experience of martial arts, boxing or, y'know, actual fighting
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)
I reckon he'd let her(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14,
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Yes, well, you have an advantageIn that I wouldn't hit you. I would attempt to end the fight by picking you up and putting you in a bin, which I imagine would be entirely doable
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)
Stick to your guns DarthThey'll give you the sad eyes and when you hesitate they'll kick you in the shins.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17,
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I fucking would if you were clearly intent on hurting me, yesMy usual recourse with fighty girls would be to trip them up and sit on them but I fear you would snap like a twig
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)
But bins are icky.Plus, I probably wouldn't try *that* hard to hurt you.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)
Depending on how much effort you put into hurting me I could maybe offer you a recyclng bin full of card an' thatgo for the bollocks or the eyes and it's straight in the compost, however
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)
If you can hurt any part of my stomach then you are strong enough to run away from (, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)
What if she came at you with a bottle? Or knew Karate?(see In Bruges for why this is fucking hilarious)
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)
This is why I askIf someone with actual real life physical attributes is lurking amongst us we must vanquish them
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)
I have size on my side but am soft as shite.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:18,
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ThisI'm big enough that I don't generally get bothered. If I did, I doubt I'd win.
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Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:21,
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I'm surprisingly strong but lack any kind of techniqueThe only way to get good at fighting is to do it a lot, so if I was started on by someone who does that sort of thing a lot I'd probably get my arse kicked.
Again.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I've been involved in half a dozen or so disagreements at the football.I won none of them.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)
I'm sat in eyeline of my bossHe's in an important meeting, and the client is sat with his back to me. I'm surrounded by bubble wrap, and I'm not allowed to pop any of it at all.
Am I in hell?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:04,
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Best therapy known to man.Popping bubble wrap. I get through reels of the stuff.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:05,
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The feeling you get when you pop bubblewrap is the same feeling I get when I pull my hair out.(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:09,
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Give us Bubble Wrap.www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzevl0Hw79g
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:07,
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Gimme Yopwww.youtube.com/watch?v=O8n0ebXUphk
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:10,
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Put this on your toast.www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9CH1n9tNV0
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:12,
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I seem to be one of the only people my age to remember that advert(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14,
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I am worried my cats are more intelligent than I originally gave them credit for.If I don't post again, they've killed me in my sleep and taken over the house.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:09, Reply)
You're absolutely correctIt's up to you to decide whether you'd rather be killed by your cats or offered sex is a slightly camp manner
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)
HmmI'll see how I get on with the cats for the time being.
Of course, this is massive internet lies. How are you feeling anyway?
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Massively unproductive and unmotivatedThank you for asking. You're really very sweet. I won't tell anyone. Apart from those reading this. Which is likely no-one. Not even you.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)
I haven't had a call about him which is good newsMs Foxtrot is at home today so if the worst had happened she'd have called me. Appreciate the hugs :-)
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:38, Reply)
*more hugs*The Pub Husband just texted me. Apparently I am the conversation topic du jour at the pub :(
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)
Want me to come up there and duff the rotters up?I'm sure talking like that in Bradford will garner me enormous amounts of deference and respect
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:49, Reply)
Ha, they're just being cuntsIt's all to do with me kicking someone out the other day. I need to get out of this place, too much gossip.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:53, Reply)
You might want to look for jobs in Brighton after this weekend*ducks and covers*
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Don't, thoughI'm thoroughly enjoying the niceness. And I'll make it worth your while. Eventually.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
The only jokey reference to periods that has ever amused me is referring to Jam roly poly as 'period pie'(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:23,
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Gross. I only say "period" and "pad"My cousin says "raggin'" and it makes me want to puke.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:27,
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Riding the cotton pony is one that sickened me recently...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:32,
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No.I can't spend that much on a bag no matter how much I try to justify it.
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:12,
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have you found the perfect accessories for your new blouse?(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:14,
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It's too awesome for accessories.I'm just going to let the blouse do the talking.
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:15,
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You really have got to stop referring to yourself in the 3rd personMakes you sound extremely conceited.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:16,
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What?(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:11,
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Ah okWell she said she wanted a huge pizza, so buy her a huge dildo.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:13,
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A diamond.-Beyonces-
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20,
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I am going to eat pancakes til I rupture tomorrowwhat should I have on them?
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)
Sugar and lemonAnything else is heresy
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:15,
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lime juice or orange juice squeezed directly from an orange onto your pancake are also acceptable.(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)
I acknowledge I've never tried thisBut I'm in no hurry to either, as I don't think it could beat the lemon
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20,
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Pure and simpleOr was that Hear'say?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:18,
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Jeff is rightPure and Simple was by Hear'Say. He is gayer than you.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)
The Lightning Seeds did one called Purewww.youtube.com/watch?v=NRyvkdjoxWU
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)
Meh, I was closeI'm sure the lyric is 'pure and simple every time' so I thought that was the song title as well.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)
never even heard of someone doing thatbut sounds lovely
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:19,
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It's fantastic, there's nothing better(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20,
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cheese and chillis(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:15,
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ok savoury pancakes are acceptablebut for sweet ones:
sugar
lemon juice
NOTHING ELSE!
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17,
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I agree(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17,
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Really?but why? I had an amazing one with orange juice, Cointreau and clotted cream a few years ago.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)
lemon juicesugar
NOTHING ELSE
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:16,
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Start off with bananananananananas and ice cream (or peanut butter and ice cream if like me you can't eat bananananananas)then have nutella, then one with jam, then a lemon juice and sugar for traditions sake, then another nutella one, then another lemon juice and suagr.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)
Oooo, Golden Syrup, fucking lushalso Freshly Made Beef Gravy. I fucking love gravy and cooked batter in any form.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Good question.*Checks the Def Leppard book of pancakes to see what they say*
'Pour some sugar on me', is apparently the answer.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:22,
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But not sticky enough for the drummer to stick his arm back on.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:25,
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Sugar syrup is not recommended in place of surgery, no(it does make an excellent base for fake blood though, but you shouldn't forget that you've left a container of it in a plastic bag for 4 months because it ferments. I speak from extremely messy and traumatic experience.)
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)
I'm not sure I want to ask, but I will.berk, why do you need fake blood?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:33,
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It was for hallowe'en.it was much better than the stuff you get in shops.
I found it last weekend. It was...not good.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:35, Reply)
Golden syrup.Maple syrup is only acceptable on fluffy american ones.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:25,
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That reminds me of this songwww.youtube.com/watch?v=PEKGkxuHuHM
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:16,
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I love itI like singing it on my way to work
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:21,
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Can we talk about the film Romancing the Stone?I think it's a great film.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)
I can't remember what happened in that onebut I remember Jewel of the Nile
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)
It's where the stone is inside a clay gnome thingand I think it has the rich bloke with the massive 4x4 that's the girls biggest fan.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Oh and it finishes with him turning up in New York with a massive boat on the back of a truckand wearing aligator boots.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)
Is someone going to hide in Lab's chin?0 points if you get the shit reference.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:21,
Reply)
It's not the worst film I've seen but I'm in no hirry to re-watch it.In my mind it's in 'Crocodile Dundee' territory ie I'd watch it on C5 on a Sunday but wouldn't order the DVD.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:25,
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I'm listening to Althea and Donna at the moment.I might 'Pass the Dutchie' in a minute, but I probably won't.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:20,
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You'll both be singing it in your heads for the rest of the afternoon now.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:26,
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Love is all I bring in me khaki suit and ting. OW!Edit - I think this is one of the very few songs I would sing at Kareoke.
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:26,
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It's really usefull to have a suit of that nature.Especially if you lock yourself out of your automobile....
EDIT: Come on, if this isn't worth a 'Leave the Internet' I don't know what is.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:32,
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UR Christopher Biggins AICM On Safari(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:29,
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I hear that song every week, usually covered by the landlady and DJ at my localHe's hugely built, with a strong Nigerian accent. She's about 4 tall, and has a ridiculous Essex accent.
It's an odd thing to see...
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:26,
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Can you record it next week on your phone and put in on YouTube?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:27,
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If my friend is in, I'll get him toThe recording on my phone camera is rubbish, too dark
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:33,
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Should I bother going to Yoga tonight?(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:28,
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S'been a while actuallyand I need a stretch and relax.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:30,
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www.youtube.com/user/1GautamaBuddha?feature=pyv&ad=7409158312&kw=relaxation#p/u/0/nFXHW9Wtev8
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:35,
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Yes you massive tub of lard**may contain lies to motivate you and contain no basis in reality.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)
You know the main reason this annoys me?It's because it's a pie chart using excels standard colour palette, and they always look shit.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:35, Reply)
I think the words nerve and touched are relevent here.(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:45,
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I read this in a Jamaican accent.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:55,
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too much rastamouse(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:00,
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I'm a massive tub of lard.I've put on the weight I've lost. And lost my muscle tone. Le sigh.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:32,
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keep on with ityou can see the results :)
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:36,
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No you aren'tso shush. I can't comment on the other but I'm sure that's not true either.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)
Only if you are doing yogic flying.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:49,
Reply)
I can't decide whether this is horrible or geniusOr horribly genius:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLfITNnkLL4
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)
I accept that this is a possibilityso am refusing to listen to it for a second time
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:54, Reply)
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