Someone has been slagging off Monty
b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1111773

Alt: What's your favourite type of dog, I like these: www.dog-pictures.co.uk/images/french-bulldog.jpg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:24, 127 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This one:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7aLXehSXAo
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)

That was not "fucking shit"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Massive Drugs!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC5zFKo703k
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:31, Reply)

that was

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Massive load of old shit!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Absolutely!
Unfortunately it popped into my head and I was NOT going to suffer alone.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

All dogs are fucking shit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Cats are shit
Dogs are awesome.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)

To clarify, both have their merits

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Oh no, your thing is better than my thing, whatever shall we do?!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Agree to disagree?
Or duel, your choice.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Meh.
I'm just impressed you've got that graph in your profile.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

hahahahahaha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

It amused me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

dogs are awesome. Mildew is an awesome soppy dog and i can't believe you are insulting DG and Tourettes by saying their dog is shit. Seriously Noel what the fuck is up with you? I can't believe you just did that. You're dead to me now

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Oh, it's nothing personal, their dog may well be awesome, but all dogs are shit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)

oh it's personal
for the record you have also insulted my mum and gonz.
And probably Gonz's mum
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Then my work here is done.
/ac
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I think I prefered single-noel
pining-for-a-girl-half-his-age-on-the-other-side-of-the-world-noel is a bastard
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I've always been a bit of a bastard.
I'm learning from the best *ruffles hair*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)

yeah but I like dogs so I'm allowed to be a bastard
Also I phoned my mum yesterday and she said she was feeling a bit down so I've sent her some flowers with what have been my drinking money for the week because I'm secretly lovely.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

OMG, I'm secretly lovely too!
Can I braid your hair?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

You can do my ironing?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I'm not that fucking lovely.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

oh.. :(

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)

www.amazon.co.uk/Dog-that-Saved-Life-Incredible/dp/0007339208
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/feb/24/labrador-awarded-animals-victoria-cross
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gander_(dog)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Oh gonz, I was just baiting.
I'd never seriously slag off an entire species of animal. Except scorpions, the little pincery fuckers.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

This little bitey fly things, "no-see-them", they might be midges or something... fucking pointless species.
You get clouds of them so big in cyprus that the even get in your eyes and all over your food and give you so many bites tiny that it looks like a rash; each bite individually doesn't do anything but when you're covered them, they're soo itchy. If you slap your hand do your body your hand comes out with tiny black dots because there are so many of them.

Fucking pointless creatures, they're not used as a major source of food by other animals eaither.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Trouble is, they do have a point, to replicate DNA.
Fucking life's got a lot to answer for.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)

always been a fan of bull dogs and pit bulls
next dog I get will probably be something small that I can carry in my purse
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

You are Paris 'me minge is stinking' Hilton
AICMFP
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)

at least she looks clean

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

purse shark

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

handbag bear!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Got an overall rating of good for my evaluation so am in a good mood.
In about 5 hours I will be back to misery when Barca spank Arsenal.

alt q: DULUX DOG - Olde English Sheep Dog if you want to be technical.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Does this put you on course for winning Boyce Towers or not the Bob?
I may, or may not see your reply as I'm about to go to the pub before football.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Not graded which actually helps me as good is a 2:1.
All my other grades have been equivalents of a 1st so bang tidy!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

'Bang tidy'...?
Fucking speak English, you brainless simpleton.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

Not surprising you don't watch Celebrity Juice, it's a Kieth Lemonism.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I didn't think anyone watched that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

'Kieth Lemonism'...?
You are still doing it. Cease and desist, please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

No bugger off you old miserable cunt, read something else you horrible fucktard.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Shan't.
I WILL make you cry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

You are Barcelona
aicmfp
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

You are not Argentina
AICMFP
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)

And by the time you graduate and move into Boyce Towers
His daughter will probably be in school, so no only can you make Monty homeless, you can also ruin his daughters life by teaching her as well.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

Ha, I think he would move her pretty sharpish.
They started bringing in presents and cards for me today which was a little overwhelming. I am going to miss the little buggers.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Don't get cocky.
Inside the parcels are little nuggets of faeces, I bet you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Nom Nom, my favourite.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Turdd by name, turd by choice of food.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Liking this Roky Erickson btw
good stuff.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Check out his 60s stuff with the 13th Floor Elevators
They literally invented psychedelic rock. This description of their music (by themselves on their business cards) is the first recorded usage of the term.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Going through all the suggested ones on youtube at the mo
it's brilliant so far.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

I got tickets to see him last December, but the batty old cunt cancelled.
Gutted beyond belief, I am (still).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)

his voice reminds me a bit of Steve Earle, I really like this.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:16, Reply)

small dogs should be eradicated
by small dogs I mean anything smaller than a beagle.

Labradors are best, closely followed by siberian huskies and german shepherds.

Special mention goes to: Bassett Hounds, Newfoundlands and St Bernards
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I love labradors, but they're not very interesting
Also some terriers are small but awesome
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

all small dogs are shit. fact.
the labradors that my parents have had are interesting. Intelligent, full of personality, not fucking yappy pieces of pointless shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

bagel hounds!
half beagle, half basset - totally cute.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

that sounds amazing
we should get one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

they go very well with smoked salmon.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Basenji.
puppydogweb.com/gallery/basenjis/basenji_hill.jpg
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Chinese ginger cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

But it's African.
I could train it as a bum cleaner.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

bum cleaner prostate massager
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)

I think you'd be a natural, Porkles old chap.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)

And they don't bark
So no-one will suspect. Perhaps Jeff was keeping this a secret?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)

It all makes sense now...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Yup. They do a funny little yodel sound.
So people will just think he is a closet Fritzl instead of a dog-shagger.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Not worthy of a thread of it's own
But this is the coolest thing I've seen anyone do in a while
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

the best thing about that photo is how the white guy totally fluffed up the save, he's a good second off the pace
This is why black guys are better at sports trustereotypingfax
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Is it?
Blimey, it really is shit up north.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

HA ha ha
"Man catches stick, The North is fascinated"

Not since "Dole Scum" won the Pint of Mild Classic have povvos been so excited.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

*creases up*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

2019: Man Catches Second sticks, invents fire.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:41, Reply)

I mean cool as in Isaac Hayes
Not cool as in 'Awesome'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

This doesn't help

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

What would you say is cooler then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

www.theslipperytruffle.com/log/poodolph.jpg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

AHAHAHAHA

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

strangely endearing

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

The Libyans machine-gunning their own citizens is infinitely cooler.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

oh he's cute

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

He's drinking Red Stripe which makes him mentally retarded
so I reckon you have a chance with him.


*runs like fuck*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

drinking Red Stripe black
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)

*Roger Moore 'oof!'*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)

*raises eyebrow*
*polishes leather skin*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)

oh monty, sad face
What's wrong with redstripe?
To be fair I've only had it once so I don't remember anything about it
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

If you're going to drink lager of that quality
You might as well stop kidding yourself and just plump for Kestrel Super, for its superior ratio of ethanol to pennies-paid-per-tin.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)

It's like a chemical approximation of beer.
I don't think it has any real ingredients at all - apart from real water.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Alt: I don't like dogs. I can just about stand Border Collies though.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Actually I take back my former statement
and say that I'd definitely have a shih-tzu. I got on so well with my old housemate's little dog that I reckon I'd have one. Plus they don't shed fur and are hypoallergenic so I could rub it all over my face without fear of sneezing.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

face cock and balls
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Ahhhhhhh yeah!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)

you may as well give me the fiver before jeff claims you are him and things get confusing

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

You could even
cope with a Spanish Water Dog I reckon - same hypoallergenic qualities - although mine is completely bonkers....see - not ALL dogs are shit - thats like saying all occupants of Milton Keynes are rapists.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

no, all occupants of Milton Keynes are rape victims

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

POTD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

But I say that at least every fifteen minutes, I only live ten miles down the road, you weren't there man!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

15 minutes, 15 roundabouts, 15 rapes
1 sad Noel
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I think they were on The Hair Bikers, awesome dogs with webbed feet.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Otters?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Hey gonz, how hot is Cyprus in April?
Could i sit by the pool all day?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I went last year in April, yes, 'twas boiling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)

hmmmm, I will consider
Really I want a nice quiet villa, but with only two of us it's tricky
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)

...as Run DMC once memorably said.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Yeh', deffo, april/may are my fave times of the year.
Even at night it is still warm, but not too hot that you can't sleep.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:43, Reply)

Cool beans, Where is the nicest part?

I'm really not one for chavvy resorts and "English Pubs"!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:47, Reply)

In the north ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:00, Reply)

I mean, do you want to know the nicest part on the turkish side, or the greek side?
In the north side, if you're not going to hire a car, stay in Kyreenia, but if you are, stay outside of kyreenia, say, esentepi
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:03, Reply)

I do like pugs and beagles. But I do prefer cats...

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)

Pugs look like they have dog-Downs to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)

You have to face them against the wind on ships
Otherwise they suffocate, as their faces are so flat. D'aww.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Isn't it just easier to throw them overboard
much as one would with Down's kids?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:23, Reply)

"drown a Down's"
"The modern equivalent of putting kittens in a sack then lobbing them into the river!"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)

I can't believe no one has said weimarners

They are double cute when they are little and have big blue eyes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)

I prefer weimaraners myself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Ooh ooh I saw one while out and about and cooed over it
But its owner was shouting at it :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)

You should have joined in.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)

:(((
I'm not a dick. Unlike you.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)

they have long tails now though and they look weird to me

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:43, Reply)

Much as I love dogs
If I were to choose an animal to own, I'd prefer one that I didn't have to follow around, picking up its faeces in a little plastic bag, before it appreciately licked my face with a tongue that had more recently been near its testicles.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Well I won't invite you out next time, then.
*harrumph*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)

It's embarrassing enough with the way you scurry around the pub sniffing everyone's bum...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)

You didn't complain at the time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)

It would have been a little hypocritical
given that I then tried to stick my willy up them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:22, Reply)