when it's great
great sex is pretty... great.

the salted caramel puddles at hotel chocolat are pretty great.

getting in my brand new car and hooning it off down the embankment was especially great. as was getting the keys to my flat on completion. that was really great.

seeing my nieces' and nephew's little faces when they get really excited because auntie swipe has arrived is very great too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:19, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

my niece cries pretty much every time she sees me
this gets a little wearing after a couple of days
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Hahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

It's because your beard smells like piss

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

of all the things you could say about it
that is among the more ridiculous

she doesn't see smells.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Depends on how bad you smell

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)

I smell better than London
which is where they live. When I arrive air quality in general improves.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:26, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1119949
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Squealer!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)

:p

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:28, Reply)

i just saw that in a quick scroll through
and thought it was in response to my comment about great sex.

if it had been, i would have said, "and how would you know, nobody squeals during marital sex."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)

What about married pigs?
I bet they squeal like, err, pigs
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:31, Reply)

blimey
in the city, it's illegal for animals to get married. is somerrrrset really that different??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:32, Reply)

nah
animals can't marry but they can get civil partnerships
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:35, Reply)

You and your city ways
Some folks'l never marry a pig
And then again some fokes'l
Like C-Drac, the slack jawed yokel
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

am i getting this correctly
you are internet-married to me.

and you are saying that c-drac married a pig.

you'd better go and chat up the chicken if you want to get laid ever again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Marry the chicken? What kind of sick freak do you take me for?
She's family
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:43, Reply)

That's fowl.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:43, Reply)

what a poultry pun

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

You're right. It was a poultry effort.
I feel like a cock now*.

*Expects strike-through
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:50, Reply)

now you're proposing internet-bigamy
this is even worse than the time when you threatened to shop me to the inland revenue for failure to declare something irrelevant.


( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

I would NEVER report you to the Inland Revenue
Because they’re now called “Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs”
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:51, Reply)

I had seen that anyway
you arsehat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I've heard that if you give your beard a really hard tug
your eyes spin like the wheels of a fruit machine.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:39, Reply)

which one?
i would say they were BOTH arsehats to you, vip. BOTH of them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:39, Reply)

oh they are
both of them are now on the shitlist.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:43, Reply)

He's got me on the list, he's got me on the list,
I never will be missed,
He's got me on the list
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Getting your first place is amazing
I remember crapping myself with fear just before I bought my flat. How could I afford the mortgage, etc?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)

god i'm so so spoiled not to have one
but you have given me a fresh appreciation of that all over again, thanks!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:26, Reply)

My flat had a £64,000 mortgage when I bought it
It seemed like a million quid to me at the time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)

would make you a millionaire now!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I doubt it
I did make £55,000 when I sold it though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)

them were the days
actually i can't complain, mine has rocketed up in value even with the recession. just wish the useless managing agent would sort out my parking space (4 years later and i am still parking on the fucking road)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:31, Reply)

A different world in London for property though
My flat had a river and sea view, private parking space, two bedrooms, etc. In London that would probably be a £1million
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

ha, and the rest!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Exactly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Awesomeness.
I haven't gotten anythign from Hotel Choclat in years now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:32, Reply)

you neeeeed to go again
alistair and i had "billionaires shortbreads" today, amazing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I remember when it was just an online store.
Their slabs are OMGood
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Mrs Cow always gets hotel Chocolat stuff
for Christmas and birthdays but she doesn't like it. I do so end up with free choc!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)