Dead thread is dead
I know most of you are socially retarded internet fatties who hate all sport because of the time you were made to do PE in your underwear and everyone laughed at your burger nips, but I am very much looking forward to England V Ireland on Saturday, Grandslam here we come!

Or, Clocks go forward soon, should we stay on BST all year and screw the impoverished moaning Scots? Or should we saty as we are?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:00, 94 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Operation Grandschlam, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Is that not Schteve's new "entry" method for you?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Plus, that's RACIST.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)

The scots aren't a race, they are a stain on humanity

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)

i've never screwed a scot
i'd make him moan if i did though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Thatcher screwed millions of them
by testing out the Poll Tax on them a year early.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Alright 'Ben Elton', that's enough.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Thank you very much indeed, ladies and gentlemen.
I shall now write a musical based on the works of Steps.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Combine their rise to fame with the entire series of Saw movies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

May I please operate the casting couch for the role of Faye Tozer?
Ta muchly.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:18, Reply)

From Ghostbusters?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I've already got you pegged for the role of 'H'.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I'm not really into pegging, thanks all the same.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:28, Reply)

LIES on the INTERNET

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Well, certainly not if DG's involved.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I wouldn't either, frankly.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Faye Sperma
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

THIS DESERVES MORE CREDIT THAN IT GOT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Where their numbers are multiplied by 8, but one has to go home sick?
Oh, been done. Sorry.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Sex is exercise - he'd moan alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I've screwed a Scot.
It makes a very interesting story.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:16, Reply)

A McFuck

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Oh wait, he might of been Irish.
I can't quite remember. No, I think he was Scottish. Erm.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Irish would have been o'fuck
A good night, was it?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:12, Reply)

New Year's.
Odd odd odd night.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:14, Reply)

They normally are, I find

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)

MOTOGP THIS WEEKEND WOOOOOOOOO
I love Ben Spies so much it hurts a little
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Bikes are for gays

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Then colour me FABULOUS

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

If he falls off he'll be minced spies

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

hahahaha (although it's pronounced "speez" but I'll let you off)
Last season two guys broke their legs and they were bath back riding in races within SIX WEEKS
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Makes that Japanese teenager who crashed last year look like a right pansy
he STILL hasn't got back on his bike yet
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

he has he's just not up to race pace yet
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Monty has burger nips
And by 'burger' I mean BURGER
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I'm bloody starving now.

( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I would enjoy trying to eat that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

You are Armin Meiwes
AICMFP.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Do you honestly think I need a link to tell me who Armin Miewes is?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

You are not the only person in existence
Yes, I am being solipsisticist.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I think the link was for us non-aryan supremists

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:14, Reply)

He taught him everything he knows
(not too much garlic)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Quick Lab, edit it to MASSIVE COCK.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Eh, effort

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

to you
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

That works too.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I need to get out of IT and into AV installations.
Some of the kit you can get in your house is really fucking sexy. Anybody know any installers who wouldn't mind taking on an exceptionally enthusiastic 30 year old network-trained tech nerd who's only 45% likely to start humping the kit he's installing?
( Kroney, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I don't know what this means
So instead I'll say that some people in my office are being ker-razy and I want to kill them
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Yeah, me.
Resign flamboyantly from your current job, then give me a call. I'll definitely answer, and the number will definitely not be one I just made up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I smell a prank.

( Kroney, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:14, Reply)

No way. I have a job waiting for you.
CARPE DIEM, KRONEY!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:16, Reply)

You don't install tellies and amps and speakers and that
you just shout at Citylink.

I WILL NOT FALL FOR YOUR LIES.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Damn you, Holmes, you're just too good for me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:23, Reply)

*edited*, soz
www.unionversity.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/imagespeek-a-boo.gif
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:17, Reply)

peek-a-boo

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:17, Reply)

seek a poo

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:18, Reply)

b p

Edit: Gah.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Well that serves her right
the stupid mare.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:18, Reply)

oh thanks
that makes pretending I'm working loads easier.
I shall let you off this ONE TIME
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Child that I am, I find that utterly, utterly hilarious.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Me too.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I've sent it to my father who will weep with hilarity.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Give Shona my love, won't you?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Victory, i have killed B3th's thread

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

QUICK, SOMEONE ASK ME A KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

why, who's there?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I dunna

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)

No, no, no, you're doing it wrong, you say "Knock Knock" and I say "Sorry, no solicitors".
Although it's good coming from you, you've ruined it now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:36, Reply)

i do seem to ruin everything
i'm SORRY gonz, ok? i didn't ask to be born...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Don't try that one on me young lady, this bucket of diddums has run dry.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:48, Reply)

whoa that's harsh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Knock Knock

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)

HERE'S CHOMPY!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I don't get it...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:41, Reply)

He doesn't knock.
That'd alert them.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Aaaaah...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:42, Reply)

He just creaks
And tries to keep his heavy breathing in check
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Sometimes he wants to have "new age fun with a vintage feel"
so instead of rohypnol, he goes all Victorian and uses chloroform on a hanky.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Oh god...the Steampunk Chompy
There's a terrifying image I didn't need...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:57, Reply)

-weeps-
-weeps partially as you've just reminded me of the steampunk dildo site-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:02, Reply)

*accepts no responsibility on account of having been completely oblivious to the steampunk dildo site*
*at least as far as memory serves*
...
*takes Alzheimer's medication*
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Here's a testimonial.
“While attending the 104th Sussex Manservant Rally, Lady Stotescrue and I cheered on our favorites as they pulled their wagons around the second bend. At about this time, Lady Stotescrue pulled out a tiny, practically limp little weapon and complained that she was having the most dreadful time achieving any kind of satisfaction in her duels. She was in absolute distress and I just had to introduce her to my Little Death Ray. After going behind the refreshment tent and firing it just once, I was forced to wrest it from the veritable death grip she had on it. I don't dare let it out of my sight again!”
--Dame Edith Weesleshague

Man, while I quite like the aesthetic, steampunk writers piss me off so much.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:04, Reply)

If ever proof were needed that some people just have far too much time on their hands...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:12, Reply)

littledeathray.com
If you're interested. Unfortunately the "Butt Rogers Uranium Pistol" for up the arse isn't available yet...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:14, Reply)

The name is inspired, I'll give them that

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:15, Reply)

that a try
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:15, Reply)

*sighs*
Well, it is a while* since I last had my chocolate chimney swept...

*_{At least 12 hours...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:18, Reply)

hours minutes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Pfft.
By Dick Van Dyke, with a terrible cockney accent?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:19, Reply)

i read that in the jack nicholson voice
although i am fairly sure THATTS TEH JOWK.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Indeed it was

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:13, Reply)

*doesnt answer because I'm agoraphobic*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

clocks went forward here last week
I like that there's more sunshine.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 11:58, Reply)