Are you calling my pint a puff?
Well? Are you? You want to step outside, mate?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:16, 89 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've heard your pint takes it up the arse in public toilets every Friday and Saturday night.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:26, Reply)

I've heard your local pub will only serve you halves.
Unless you've got a note from your mum.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:28, Reply)

His local pub only serves him pink cocktails.
Without the tails.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:37, Reply)

Careful now, if we carry on like this we'll upset Alfonso Bongo again.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Playground innit?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:39, Reply)

as good an incentive as any

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:49, Reply)

Pfft. Alfonso Bummo more like.
Nyah nyah nyah.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:03, Reply)

I'd say he's blown the froth off a few in his time.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:52, Reply)

OH GOSH OH GOLLY OH WOW
whiterabbitexpress.com/popin-cookin/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:02, Reply)

I'm facing a dilemma.
My best mate has just asked to borrow £150 off me because he has no money until his next loan. I can just about to afford it, but I fear we'll both just forget about it and I hate asking for money owed to me. Then again he is in a proper tight spot and is pretty stuffed with regards to his financial situation. Think I'm gonna have to relent and give it to him.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:04, Reply)

lend it
but get him to make a standing order for when the next loan is due
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:07, Reply)

I don't think I could even ask for that.
It'd come across that I don't trust him to pay it back of his own accord.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:09, Reply)

When is his loan due?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:11, Reply)

No idea. Same as the rest of us.
Late April I think.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:12, Reply)

2nd May

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:13, Reply)

That bastard late? Rubbish.
Means I have to wait a month and a half until I can buy a pair of Persol sunglasses, that's not on.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:18, Reply)

Yeah it's cos Easter's so late this year.
I've got about £150 to last til then too
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:26, Reply)

It's been a tale of two semesters for me.
I had fuck all, and I mean pretty much fuck all (besides a £500 scholarship thing in January) from September to February. My loans came through but they don't even cover my rent so I never saw either of them for more than thirty seconds. My mum can't afford to give me bugger all, not that I expect or want anything off her, and bless her she gave me thirty quid or so every now and then. Still I was on the bones of me arse. Then about a month ago Student Finance finally accepted that I was eligible for grants....and gave me £4200. I've never had that much money in my life.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:33, Reply)

Fuuuuuuck
my flatmate was convinced it was 2nd of April. Man, I'm screwed. Why are you giving me 1600£ when I'm going to be revising/examming/not at uni? Bluh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:54, Reply)

This is exactly how I feel.
But luckily Student Finance's fuck up has actually worked great for me. I finish all my exams mid May and then I'm fucking off home, I don't need moolahs then.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:56, Reply)

I get my timetable tomorrow
I'm fucking excited. By which I mean terrified.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Well tell him you're not as flush as you'd hoped
But front him seventy-five sheets for now and say you'll have a better idea where you are with funds in a few weeks time, if he is still short, you can make a call then.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:13, Reply)

I've decided I'm gonna give him it.
And tell him in no uncertain terms that I'm gonna mither him non stop for it as soon as our loans drop.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Get him to write you a post-dated gregory.
Then, when the loans drop, you can present his cheque to your bank and BINGO!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I think it'll be fine.
I do trust him completely, it was just the fact I'd probably forget about it and I hate, hate, hate asking for money off anyone.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Give him half.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:10, Reply)

*fights*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:08, Reply)

oh! I just saw the sad chart :(
At least I'm not as sad as Jeff and BGB, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:24, Reply)

Larper.
I win.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:25, Reply)

yeah because being outside with real people
is far sadder than spending ages on an internet forum...
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:26, Reply)

egyptian sorceress uses Obsidian Kettle of Riposte
zing!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:39, Reply)

*levels up*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:40, Reply)

only a tiny bit less sad than me

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:40, Reply)

but still less
so it counts :)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:43, Reply)

Am I bovvered?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:52, Reply)

haha

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:53, Reply)

What film did you watch last night in the end?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Too embarassing to admit
am watching the Red Shoes now though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:02, Reply)

I stare at you from an unexpected vantage point

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:56, Reply)

Is it cheaper to travel on the outside?
Well, I say 'cheaper' what I mean is, do you get a reduction in your 'bill'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:01, Reply)

That made me proper lol
Jeff, LTI.
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:16, Reply)

:(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Ok, I think I'm ill.
And I've not left bed all day. I feel like death.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:56, Reply)

I was feeling really ill on Sunday and Monday.
I had chest pains and indegestion.

I made the decision to have a month off the cider and I'm already feeling a lot brighter.

What symptoms are you showing?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 22:58, Reply)

Violent cough, back pain, headache, lethargy, diminished appetite
And just generally feeling grotty.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Sounds to Dr Jeff like you've got 'a touch of the lurgy'
I suggest you take hot Ribena and maybe some biscuits or chocolate.

If that fails. Try Beechams.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:04, Reply)

I have a refreshers ice lolly downstairs
but I'm feeling a bit too weak.

/flails
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:10, Reply)

I can offer you a *there there* if that helps at all?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:11, Reply)

A cup of fucking tea would be lovely.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:15, Reply)

lucozade and soup. Not together though.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:14, Reply)

No appetite.
Soup would be too much.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:15, Reply)

Shame
I have some proper awesome Jewish-momma styley chicken and mushroom soup which I am sure would make you feel massively better. But I also have no way of getting it to you...
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:19, Reply)

Aww, thanks though.
Excited for Friday? Worked out your menu yet?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:20, Reply)

hope you feel better dudette.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:22, Reply)

I can give you the recipe
if you can muster up the energy to make it! I think I'm going to make chilli con carne and chocolate kahlua cheesecake. Bless him, he seems really keen.
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:23, Reply)

I have a bit of a thing about chicken, I have to admit
but thank you nonetheless. And that sounds delicious. Best of luck!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:26, Reply)

Ah - you don't like to eat it, do you?
Sorry!
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:28, Reply)

Not REAL chicken
will make an exception for tori katsu curry though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:32, Reply)

Why?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:32, Reply)

It gives me the creeps
like fat on red meat, and prawns.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:33, Reply)

I grant you prawns look pretty weird
tasty little buggers though.

I can give you a recipe for potato, leek and smokey bacon soup if you prefer? That too is many kinds of awesome and it's even healthy!
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:35, Reply)

That sounds delicious.
/ac

Yes please!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:38, Reply)

1 onion
4 leeks
4ish fist-ish sized potatoes
chicken stock cube
tub half fat creme fraiche/single cream if feeling naughty
smokey bacon
salt and pepper to taste

chop onions and leeks and fry them in a bit of butter until soft. Stick in pan with peeled, cubed potatoes and enough water to cover the lot, stock cube and boil until potatoes are very soft. Pour off (but keep) about half the water and blend all the veg (or mash it if you don't have a blender), add the water back in until desired consistency reached. Season, add chopped grilled bacon, NOM.
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:45, Reply)

That will be filed for future nomming.
Thank you!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:47, Reply)

It's almost offensively easy to make
especially if you have a blender. And very very tasty.
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:55, Reply)

What chilli recipe do you use?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:27, Reply)

One out of my head.

EDIT - however if you have one which you'd recommend I shall definitely have a look at it.
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:28, Reply)

Oooh.. Challenge.
Give me ten mins.

This Nigella one looks good.

www.nigella.com/recipes/view/chilli-con-carne-with-chocolate-3650
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:39, Reply)

Similar
I put chocolate in mine, plus a couple of other things that she doesn't.
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Like?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Wine, coriander, cinnamon and cumin.
possibly some other stuff, can't remember off the top of my head.
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:50, Reply)

Chili Con Curry?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:52, Reply)

*shrug*

(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:54, Reply)

Biscuits?
Timtams are Poppet's favourite.



Not sure what that says about Poppet.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:20, Reply)

That sounds horrible
I diagnose the lurgy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:04, Reply)

I need a backrub and a cuddle

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:10, Reply)

aww
no way of getting them?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:15, Reply)

I'm not exactly very sexy right now.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:19, Reply)

pfft sexy doesn't come into it
get him round for a cuddle
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:32, Reply)

He's out at a jam.
Besides, I wouldn't be much fun.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:33, Reply)

You don't always have to be fun
cuddles on demand is a perk of being in a relationship!
(berk, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:35, Reply)

Not when one of you's busy, though.
I will bide my time.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:38, Reply)

Aww warm a pillow or something
and drag everything you need together in one push
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:41, Reply)

I will have an ice pop and go to sleep, I think
though I've got caught up in Homestuck. Which I can see being incredibly dangerous.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:45, Reply)

What is Homestuck?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:50, Reply)

a long-running webcomic.
Starts oddly as a self-referential knockoff of the Sims, gets gradually weirder.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:55, Reply)

The shooting pains I get down my right arm when I smoke have returned.
I've taken it as a sign I'm not getting enough nicotine into my system and need to up my intake.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:01, Reply)

I had about 2 fags yesterday
Almost fell over with both. I've not even tried today because I'd probably cough up a lung. I'm obviously a pussy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:02, Reply)

I've had some cracking pints tonight.
Therefore, yes. Your Pint is a puff.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 0:35, Reply)