Credit your sources, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I have no idea where I heard it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Clue: from me.
I posted it on here a couple of years ago and was roundly congratulated by you and others.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I've known it longer than I've been on here

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I have an aunty who's really not with it, never has been, it's a medical merical that she's alive.... she's been in a home since her early 20s
When I was about 8, me and my mates are sitting around the kitchen table, telling rude jokes, when Ma' asks Babs if she has any jokes, so Bab goes "I have a brand new one, nobody has heard it before, it's a bit rude though, are you sure it's OK?". Ma' gives the go-ahead knowing that Bab's idea of rude is saying the word 'poo'.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

So we all pipe up, "Because he had a dog poo on his foot and there was some toilet paper on the other side?", she smuggly goes "nope". "Because there was ice cream on the other side?", "Nope, you'll never guess this one".....

After about 3 minutes of this she smuggly goes "To get to the other side", and we burst into a fit of hysterics; poor babs, she really thought it was a brand new joke that nobody had ever heard.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I heard a good one the other day
I was walking down the road when I walk past "Josh Stineburg's Chinese Emporium" resturant, now, I know us jews love a bit of chinese, and I was curious, maybe it was kosha or something. I walk in to see a little old chinese man.

I said to him "Are you the owner?" and he says "Yes, I am Josh Stineburg, and this is my chinese resturant". I looked at him confused, Josh Stineburg is not a usual name for a Chinaman, so I said to him "How did you get a name like that? I don't believe you, show me your passport". He then shows me his passport, and sure enough, that was his name, Josh Stineburg.

So he tells me "When I came over the Ellis Island on the boat, I was lining up with the rest of the immigrents, and I was standing behind a german man. He tells me about how he had been thrown out of his country for being jewish. He went up to the imigration officer who asked his name "Josh Stineburg", He then got given his passport and was allowed entery into America. It was my now turn, so I told him "Sam Ting"..... and that is how I got the name Josh Stineburg
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

heh

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post329298#post329332
One person said something.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

thank you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Everyone texted and gazzed me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:45, Reply)

It is old as the houses, but still a good'n

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Perfect timing here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Some loser in the pub who Monty was drinking with who turns out to be someone famous like Cris Rock.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

It was Martin Luther King ACTUALLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I always get those two mixed up.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Martin? Elvis' mate Martin yeah?
Runs the fruit and veg stall? Married to Ethel?


I don't know where I'm going with this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Hey Chuck, it's your cousin Marvin.
You know, Marvin Berry? You know that new sooouuund you're looking for?
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I'm getting a Back To The Future vibe from this one
or it may be the Parkinsons
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Thank you!
No-one believes me when I say I invented rock'n'roll
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

*avoids cock'n'roll strikethrough*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Dashed decent of you, old chap

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Darth and Bella double act that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I would give you more credit than you've thus far received for this,
if I didn't think the "roll on the floor" meme was probably the shittest one ever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

You can't be angry
against a meme because it's directed at a friend :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:40, Reply)

As long as you really are going, we don't mind.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:05, Reply)

*goes*
*get confused*
*comes back again*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Racist, just because we're londoners, we don't all own fruit'n'veg stands.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Sorry, some of you own mobile phone shops too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Or second-hand car dealerships.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:10, Reply)

My mistake

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Having a bunch of stolen mobiles in a holdall doesn't count as a shop

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)