300 reply thread?
You lazy cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:47, 203 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm glad someones started a new thread
it saves me a massive rant about how much of a self-satisfied smug cunt Johann Hari is. *breathes*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:48, Reply)

A quick Googling reveals he has 'gay issues', whoever he is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:50, Reply)

A quick google reveals i don't care about him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:52, Reply)

He is Mata's brother

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Might I suggest, before anyone asks for one,
that your statement can be modified into an Alt Q with the use of a comma and a question mark
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Morning Darth.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)

this has reminded me of a joke
I was walking through a graveyard this morning when I see a bloke hunkered down behind a gravestone.

"Morning!" I said
to which he replied "no, I'm having a shit"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Hahaha
desklols
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Credit your sources, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I have no idea where I heard it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Clue: from me.
I posted it on here a couple of years ago and was roundly congratulated by you and others.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I've known it longer than I've been on here

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I have an aunty who's really not with it, never has been, it's a medical merical that she's alive.... she's been in a home since her early 20s
When I was about 8, me and my mates are sitting around the kitchen table, telling rude jokes, when Ma' asks Babs if she has any jokes, so Bab goes "I have a brand new one, nobody has heard it before, it's a bit rude though, are you sure it's OK?". Ma' gives the go-ahead knowing that Bab's idea of rude is saying the word 'poo'.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

So we all pipe up, "Because he had a dog poo on his foot and there was some toilet paper on the other side?", she smuggly goes "nope". "Because there was ice cream on the other side?", "Nope, you'll never guess this one".....

After about 3 minutes of this she smuggly goes "To get to the other side", and we burst into a fit of hysterics; poor babs, she really thought it was a brand new joke that nobody had ever heard.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I heard a good one the other day
I was walking down the road when I walk past "Josh Stineburg's Chinese Emporium" resturant, now, I know us jews love a bit of chinese, and I was curious, maybe it was kosha or something. I walk in to see a little old chinese man.

I said to him "Are you the owner?" and he says "Yes, I am Josh Stineburg, and this is my chinese resturant". I looked at him confused, Josh Stineburg is not a usual name for a Chinaman, so I said to him "How did you get a name like that? I don't believe you, show me your passport". He then shows me his passport, and sure enough, that was his name, Josh Stineburg.

So he tells me "When I came over the Ellis Island on the boat, I was lining up with the rest of the immigrents, and I was standing behind a german man. He tells me about how he had been thrown out of his country for being jewish. He went up to the imigration officer who asked his name "Josh Stineburg", He then got given his passport and was allowed entery into America. It was my now turn, so I told him "Sam Ting"..... and that is how I got the name Josh Stineburg
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

heh

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post329298#post329332
One person said something.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

thank you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Everyone texted and gazzed me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:45, Reply)

It is old as the houses, but still a good'n

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Perfect timing here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Some loser in the pub who Monty was drinking with who turns out to be someone famous like Cris Rock.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

It was Martin Luther King ACTUALLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I always get those two mixed up.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Martin? Elvis' mate Martin yeah?
Runs the fruit and veg stall? Married to Ethel?


I don't know where I'm going with this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Hey Chuck, it's your cousin Marvin.
You know, Marvin Berry? You know that new sooouuund you're looking for?
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I'm getting a Back To The Future vibe from this one
or it may be the Parkinsons
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Thank you!
No-one believes me when I say I invented rock'n'roll
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

*avoids cock'n'roll strikethrough*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Dashed decent of you, old chap

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Darth and Bella double act that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I would give you more credit than you've thus far received for this,
if I didn't think the "roll on the floor" meme was probably the shittest one ever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

You can't be angry
against a meme because it's directed at a friend :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:40, Reply)

As long as you really are going, we don't mind.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:05, Reply)

*goes*
*get confused*
*comes back again*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Racist, just because we're londoners, we don't all own fruit'n'veg stands.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Sorry, some of you own mobile phone shops too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Or second-hand car dealerships.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:10, Reply)

My mistake

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Having a bunch of stolen mobiles in a holdall doesn't count as a shop

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Morning honey
Are you well?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I'm pretty good.
Better than I was yesterday. I spoke to BB about what I was talking to you about yesterday. He assures me he doesn't think I'm a mental. Which is nice.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Sorry!
nice wrong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:00, Reply)

No, it's fair enough.
He is wrong. It's just nice of him to say.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I'm guessing he wants bumsex
He is from Brighton
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Why do you think I'm being so nice to Darth?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I assumed it was the ill rat thing still
Different rat, but it should still work
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Oh yes, how is he?
Is he still only doing late-night exercise?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Arty lost his sight, bless him
Otherwise he seems to be on the mend though. Eating more and walking less awkwardly. Thank you for asking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Oh, poor thing!
How old is he?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Not exactly sure
We got them in July 2009 when they were about 4 weeks old, so he's probably about 22 months. Reasonable age for a male rat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:27, Reply)

:(
How many do you have?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Two nowadays
Lincoln is still in fine fettle. Bites me occasionally, the adorable little shit. How are the cats?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

They're grand.
Starting to worry Jemima might have a touch of the stupid about her, I caught her licking a cheesegrater yesterday. She's also started stealing tobacco and weed.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Licking the cheesegrater is a perfectly understandable result of the munchies

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

It's quite sweet really
When The Housemate is rolling his black out for a spliff, occasionally she'll just jump up and grab it, and it hangs like a moustache from her mouth. The tobacco thing is annoying though, because she sneaks up and runs off with pouches and hides them. I suspect she thinks this is an amusing game. It is not.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:49, Reply)

That actually sounds bloody adorable

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I can still see why you'd be cautious
I'm glad you talked to him about it though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Yeah
I got really mardy after I started thinking about that, because then I started thinking about a load of (non-BB related) stuff that's been pissing me off, and he was texting me yesterday afternoon and picked up that I was feeling pretty crap. When I went to work last night, I was working a double shift and my ex was there the whole time, being a cuntwit. So when BB rang me after work to make sure I was OK about the stuff I'd let on being upset about, I ended up telling him about that too.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Did you throw a fire extinguisher at him?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I'd imagine she hilariously put a grass mohican on him
EDIT:

Or rolled
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Every week is a rollover week chez Bella.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I imagine that she wears rollneck jumpers everyday
eats nothing but jam roly-poly and tongue rolls
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I'm surprised that she's not gone into law just to become Master of the Rolls.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:16, Reply)

The relationship is doomed to failure
because he's not into roleplay.

OH YEAH *high fives self*
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

*rolls in the aisles*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:25, Reply)

*rolls splifff*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Oooh, you've picked a clever one
A man who can pick up unhappy vibes via text is either a bumder, a telepath or a very rare breed of sensitive heterosexual man. In my experience, at any rate; possibly the majority of men I know are just useless
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

And you know a lot of men.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I'm going to give you the chance to help your average out here
Is that a deliberate gay jibe? Because it's not going to get a good mark, if so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I don't think your marking is as noticed as you think it is.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:16, Reply)

I'll take that as a yes
4/10, must try harder
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I think it's because we usually send quite long text messages
And I was just doing cursory replies. Too busy being mopey.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:16, Reply)

That'll be me giving him extra credit then
He still gets points though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Does he get additional points, or subtractions for pretending that she's not mentally ill?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

On the one hand he gets to go places AA has only dreamed of, on the other he has to listen to rambling militant lesbian monologues

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Buxton?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Well spotted

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I was there the other night

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:43, Reply)

298 actually.
/pedant.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:51, Reply)

*drags over Chesterfield wingback*
*steeples fingers*
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:51, Reply)

*shouts for cat*
"Tiddles!"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:52, Reply)

*pours the brandy*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I am a massive fan of this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I'm trying to get hold of one.
A club would do, but I really want a wingback. Even on eBay, they go for fair wedge, though.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)

This is true
saw one at auction
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I don't even have a fire to position it in front of.
I'm going to have to place it directly opposite the front door so that I can silently judge people who enter my domain.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I do hope you have the grey 70's suit, cigarette holder and eye scar

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I've bought a fake bald scalp cap thing especially.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Eeeeeeeexcellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:05, Reply)

this the way Darth knows just how to milk my prostate with his fist
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:56, Reply)

You need psychiatric help.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Are you offering?
Maybe some sort of psychoactive drug therapy?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:58, Reply)

psychiatric milking
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

8/10
For imagination
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

His imagination is precisely the problem.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Don't be jealous Monty
I'm sure your average is still higher than his.

Might actually make a start on that today
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:03, Reply)

average helmet
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Is anyone lower than me?
I've managed a 3 so far and that's it
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I'm sure I got a 4
FOR SHAME
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

No-one else has managed a 3 or lower
You are the cautionary tale of B3ta gay jibes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

AWESOME

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Laziness is my general state

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I'm surprised that you bothered to even wite this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

at least I can be bothered to spell

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

meh...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

IS THERE ANY SAVLON IN THE HOUSE

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Hahaha

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

You tell 'em, Monty!
In other news, morning bumders.

So, has anyone else noticed that they've censored a line from the Milky Way advert with the blue car and the red car? The first time i heard it I started singing along happily (you know, being the massive spazmo I am) and they've only gone and missed out a whole chuffing line! Arses.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Which line?
The blue car and the red car had a race!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Are you kidding me?
You must be very young. Anyone help him out?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I'm 36
I just wondered which line they had omitted
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:13, Reply)

That makes you the same age as me, essentially.
I'll give you a clue: 'He's looking for a chocolate bite, lovely and light....'

EDIT: or even 'fluffy and light'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Er
The red car and the blue car had a race
But all red wanted to do was stuff his face

Dum dee dum, falls off a canyon, ends up in some town tum tee too.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I had noticed that as well
explained on this
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milky_Way_(chocolate_bar)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:15, Reply)

ha ha ha
I assumed it was because being just as hungry after you eat something as you were before is no longer seen as a good thing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

All red wants to do is stuff his face!
(are we really going to do the whole thing?)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:13, Reply)

as you said to the trucker at that motorway service station that time....
morning nemesisisisisisisis
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

7/10, a good start to the day
NakedApe leads the field thus far with the only 8, in case you're interested.

Good morning to you, mortal enemy :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:16, Reply)

It's the line
"The blue car shot his load upon a traffic warden's face"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Oh no, the bridge has gone!
Old red can't carry on...

*shame*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

also, the cunts have changed it
from "smart old blue" to "good old blue" leading me to decide that these days, being smart is not considered a positive thing. Unlike, oh, being a vacuous publicty slut-troll, for instance.

Wankers, all of them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Fuck adverts. I shouted at the telly when I first saw the Nuramol advert.
*scientists in lab*
"For years, our scientists have been labouring to develop a new and better painkiller blah blah blah"
*graphs*
"Faster and longer lasting blah blah blah"
*product image*
"So new Nuramol, groundbreaking, victory for science etc etc"
*small print - 'contains Ibuprofen and Paracetamol'*

FUCK YOU NUROFEN, FUCK YOU WITH DARTH'S.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:19, Reply)

^this, also
and that insult is my new favourite. I shall use it at every given opportunity. The insult, that is, not Darth's penis.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)

damn
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

let's not even go down the route of beauty products, eh?
Lest I go on another killing rampage. "contains boswelox" .. does it really? Well, you've probably got the first two letters correct...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I saw one that said something like feeds your living hair.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Also
They've changed 'L Cassei Immunitas' to 'L Cassei Danone'

pfft.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

actually, to be fair
that's the least bad. You can call your lactobacillus strains anything you like. I'm not saying they actually do fuck all for your digestive health, but, you know, at least they a) exist and b) are what they say they are and c) aren't automatically a gigantic fraud to prey on the gullible.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

There was an Activia poster opposite work for a while, naked torso with hands, yoghurt pot.
Unfortunately for them they hadn't realised that making a heart shape with your hands over your lower abdomen is sign language for "cunt".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:26, Reply)

CREDIT YOUR SOURCES FOR GODS SAKE
/monty
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Some people, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I like this!
I dont even care if it is lies!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:28, Reply)

It's not lies,
Tourette's taught me some sign-language swearing. HAPPY NOW BADGER?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

badger?
I am happy either way, like I said
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I couldn't be fucked to reply to you both separately.
I'm a busy man.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:49, Reply)

LIES ON THE INTERNET

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I was wondering how long that'd take.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:10, Reply)

I HAD TO GO DO SOME WORK OR IT WOULD HAVE BEEN QUICKER

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Is it really?
I'm going to use that the next time I see that whistling twat in Uxbridge.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I always liked the Mitchell and Webb take on it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I2KnFx-kb4

Like the inventention of the word Nutrisse' - Which sounds like 'nutrition' but doesn't guarantee it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:25, Reply)

See also Dara O'Brien
"what happens if you pour dettol into a yakult?"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Or pretty much what everyone takes anyway

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Being as I'm old and riddled with arthritis
I get horse-tranquiliser strength ibuprofen.

mr b3th has pointed out that instead of the £7 I spend every couple of months on getting my prescription, I could just buy a 30p box of generic ibuprofen a week, and take three pills instead of one. I have refused to do this, as I am a mentalist.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:25, Reply)

horse tranx FTW
When I royally fucked my back in I was given some painkillers that put me on a different planet for about 8 hours. I remember arriving back on earth to find footy on the TV, a can of coke in one hand and a pizza box in the other. A good comedown if you will
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I have some Tramadols a colleague gave me.
Do not mix them with beer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Nor Wine
Utterly terrible idea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I can't take tramadol
they make me throw up within two minutes. Guess how I discovered this?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:42, Reply)

By taking them?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:51, Reply)

There's a special test they can do before prescribing it?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:55, Reply)

No, pretty much what Monty said
They sent me home from hospital clutching a box of Tramadol when I had my kidney infection, and mr b3th had to race toward me with a bowl almost immediately after having settled me down to rest.

It actually isn't even worth telling. As you were, everybody.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I think we were both being deliberately obtuse
in our own special ways.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Everyone says this, but I've never had a problem from it.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I nearly collapsed on the bus having dropped two of them and had two pints.
And I am quite good at handling substances.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I tend to just take them before I go to bed if I'm having bother sleeping, which will explain why I don't get fussed by the 'passing out' part.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Mine just made me feel drunk for about 14 hours

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:54, Reply)

yeah, I refuse to do this too
and I really should know better. But then a) I'm in Edinburgh so it no longer matters and b) I take horse-stoning doses of diclofenac not ibuprofen and there is no generic 30p version of that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:28, Reply)

They are!
They're all wankers! As I was saying to the Robertson's Gollywog the other day. He agreed with me too, didn't you Sambo?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Yes'm

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)

1st click of today

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Ok, now I want a milky way
On Sunday it was a mad urge for Coco Pops, I'm obviously regressing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:44, Reply)

We have loads of grads in today for "assesment"
They look ridiculously young and really quite retarded
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

As long as they can suck a tennis ball through a straw
they will do well.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:13, Reply)

for your list of dinner guests
I was going to say Dorothy Thompson but realised you'd specified living :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

dead people do smell a bit at dinner

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

No conception of manners

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:23, Reply)

*pointless post in incorrrect thread is pointless and in incorrect thread*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:19, Reply)

*pssst*
incorrect is spelled incorrrrrrrrrectly
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I would be tempted to invite LiC along with Fat LiC and his inflatable girlfriends.
If only one shows up, we know they are THE SAME PERSON.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Sherlock like skillz

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

They aren't inflatable they're puppets
shit rumbled
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:01, Reply)

BrianConleylols.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I think I would quite like to go dinner with you, you're on my list.
Next month I think a bunch of us are going to go to a new american place that has opened up down the road from me followed by rockband fun timez.... you know, if you fancy it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Can I come (to the meal bit) please?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:28, Reply)

As long as you don't cramp my style while working my game with the honiez !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:29, Reply)

If that's what you're worried about
you should invite Darth
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

An overly effeminate gay man who likes women rather than willy.... he's like an anti-wingman.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

He's a 'flange deflector'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:36, Reply)

deflector
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I read that as flange detector
Kind of like a sniffer dog...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Tsk, this is below you
5/10. Not least because the idea of inviting a gay man to dinner because he won't distract the girls with conversation is obviously nonsense.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

*cries*
I'll be back, nemesis! I'll be baaaaaaaack!


Okay, I'm back. Did I miss anyhting?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Yeah, we had cakes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Deal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Sweet !
I'll let you have a bite of my foot long dawg.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Eff that, yo - I'm a get me two of my own, brah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:35, Reply)

That sounds fine
Can I come too? Does it have a website?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Yup, again, no cramping my style while I'm hitting on the honiez, nobody is allowed to come who will cramp my style in any way.
I'm afraid the website is just this: www.brooksdiner.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:48, Reply)

It'd be good :)
depends on money of course, but american food is generally comprised meat and meat is good
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Ace !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I was compiling a list of B3tans, but it turns out it wasn't an online popularity thread, so.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

There's no part of offtopic that isn't a popularity contest.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Life isn't a popularity contest.....


Oh, wait - it is.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I am too tired to caaaare.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)

well go to bed then
silly poppet
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I'm in bed.
I'm sick of feeling slightly poorly and not poorly enough to really have the day off and do nothing, and being shattered everynight.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I'll tell you what's lazy
I never changed my clock back to GMT. It's been on BST for a year, and now I don't need to change it. Awesome.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:55, Reply)

That's quite special.
I'm quite obsessive about the clocks in my house, they all have to be right.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I'm barely in my room. I put it as another address on my census but I don't even think I'm there for 3 months a year.
My watch runs slow, though, so I usually wind it to about 5 minutes fast. I ususally have no idea if it's 5 minutes slow or fast or accurate. At the moment, it says... 12.02.

I think that's wrong.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:07, Reply)

It suits you.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:09, Reply)

What, slow?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Does anyone know if the football is on normal telly
Tonight?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:09, Reply)

football is over
there will be no more football
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:15, Reply)

www.onthebox.com

or any of the hundred other television guide websites.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:38, Reply)