I had to go for a poo 1.5 miles into my run this morning
I'm not sure which was more shameful; thinking along my route to try and identify a secluded corner of a park where I could curl one out in peace, or telling Facebook all about the inconvenience of said poo whilst sitting on a public toilet delivering it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:09, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well at least you're no stranger
to crouching in the bushes, bent over with your trousers round your ankles, and a sharp, stabbing pain in your arse.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Poo doesn't hurt
Or rather, poo shouldn't hurt. But if you will drink cheap wine-based product...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I had a shit once too
True story
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:11, Reply)

As a girl-type, I havew never taken a shit. I pass rainbows, in common with most of my gender.
However, during the pub quiz the other night, mr b3th thought it would be appropriate to tell the whole pub, very loudly, that I had farted. why did I marry that man?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Really? I've known girls to pass some right fucking slurry

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I bet you've got the vids to prove it too

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Or cups

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I'm afraid faecal matter doesn't really do it for me

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Donkey tramp porn on the other hand...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Because he's even older than me and you are a scheming, gold-digging bitch
who married him to get your greedy mitts on his house?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)

well, yeah
there is that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I think we all know the answer to this one
And yet, you felt the need to compound the situation by telling us.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Morning darling :-)

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)

mornin you
poo related japery aside, you well?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I feel great actually
The unscheduled toilet break encouraged me to stretch the run out to 6 miles for the first time since last summer so am surprisingly positive. How are you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:18, Reply)

the run my arse
miles inches
the first time since last summer some random bloke in the next cubicle

Fine, mostly. Thinking about having a shower and getting dressed. I have a lot to do today.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
A round of applause please
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Have an 8/10. Good work.
Showered and dressed before 10am? What is this new devilry?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)

i no rite?
but it must be done.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Thank god I was already sitting down
What's keeping you so unrealistically busy?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:27, Reply)

on somebody's lap?

Work does occasionally have to be done. Boo.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)

You missed
(un)surprisingly +HIV
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Strike 1
poo violent bumming (x2)
curl one out ingest cock up to the nutsack
sitting on cottaging in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:12, Reply)

8/10
Good start to the day mate. Had coffee?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Yep!
2 so far and the filter coffee has now brewed. I actually managed some sleep last night too! WOOP!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)

God you're going to be insufferable today aren't you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Every day, not just today

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I look forward to being eviscerated by your ready wit

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)

.....and a cake delivery from one of our staff for fixing her laptop
YAY
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:19, Reply)

You, earlier.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Needs MOAR Snickers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Get some NUTS!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Isn't that his normal posture?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)

*boaks*
your google history must be very disturbing...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)

That's not Darth
Far too masculine!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Plus blonde hair does NOT suit me
Not with my skin tone
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Whilst in general I am in full support of the the burqa ban
in your case I believe an exception could be made.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Merricklols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I was watching a piece on BBC News about some French women protesting against the Burka ban on my lunchbreak yesterday
And one of my colleagues, a typical 50something chap whose accent betrays he has spent very few nights outside of Norfolk, said "well why don't they go home then?"

Thought of you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:25, Reply)

It's a fair question.
If you don't like it, go and live somewhere where it's allowed.

Like the fact that you're moving to San Francisco.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)

It was the "home" element which I objected to
Whilst you are correct, ignoring your feeble attempt at a gay jibe, it's not unfair to assume that these people were born and have always lived in France, so it is their home.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:34, Reply)

And you wonder where you got your reputation from...
you utter bender
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:22, Reply)

No I don't
I know exactly where I got it from, and occasionally I play up to it. There is an example of this above.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:24, Reply)

play it up like to lie in the urinals at gay clubs being pissed on by massive hairy men.

above on gaytube.com
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:26, Reply)

No score
Because a) you struck through an inaccurate sequence of words, and b) I've never heard of gaytube.com.

You queer cunt.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:28, Reply)

You get a 7/10 for the response

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I'm losing it, I'll sulk off now to run some more reports and look at some more excel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Dude.
Weds next week is off. My manageress reminds me we're going away the next day so we have shit to sort out. I am most terribly sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Hmm
Any other days suit you? If not, I'm free Sunday and Monday of the long Bank weekend.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Sunday could be OK, once I've finished with my daughter.
I shall consult.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:31, Reply)

You're breaking up with her?
Why, Monty, why?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 10:13, Reply)

She's broken now. I have no further use for her.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)