Seriously?
Have I killed the internet?

What have you killed? What would you like to kill?

I have the feeling I'm missing all the action somewhere else. Do you usually feel being left apart?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:51, 126 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You should check your ignore list.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I don't think I have anyone there
let me see...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Yes, you're right
However, I'm too scared of unignore them two again, as I don't want poo pictures here.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Yes...
I've killed the internet. Or everyone is ignoring me. I don't know what's worse.

Time to go back to work, it seems.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:56, Reply)

i think they're all down there talking about how shit everything is
I've killed a few bugs in my time. I'd like to kill a few more.

My dog got into a dog fight yesterday, I thought someone might have died, but they didn't.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I used to like killing bugs
Now I feel guilty about doing it.

Which dog is yours? Did he start the fight? Was it for food or sex?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Is your dog okay?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Doggy news?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:03, Reply)

For the love of god, tell me the Dog is okay!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:06, Reply)

she's fine
I think it was less of a fight and more of Echo asserting her dominance over the other dog.
Which was a fucking rottweiler.
She had the other dog by the neck. It was fucking scary.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:07, Reply)

It's not very nice seeing dogs like that whatever their breed.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Yeah, the first thing that was said after was "That's that pit coming out of her"
The other dog was okay, and Echo was fine after. We took them on a walk together after to try to get them to be okay.
She's never been like that around another dog.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Wow
She did show her dominance, didn't she? You taught her who to fight?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Why would I teach my dog how to fight?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:14, Reply)

She obviously learned somewhere
I was joking, anyway. Not a good joke, clearly. I need to keep practising.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:19, Reply)

She's still an animal, I don't know much about dogs but I'm sure they're born with those instincts.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Right
It was a joke. I know they like fighting and somethimes we think they're fighting and they're only playing, and the other way round. How old is she?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:26, Reply)

she turned a year in february
sorry, it's sometimes hard to read jokes online
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:30, Reply)

A year is a bit young to want to start fighting, I'd think
maybe there was something about the other dog that she didn't like. Maybe she's on full puberty now and all the hormones are playing with her.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Not sure.
She's very...how should I say...proactive? She's always on the offence. If she senses something she doesn't like she's going to let you know. She barks a lot.
I've seen her lunge at and bark at people before when she felt threatened but she's never done that.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:41, Reply)

you're missing all the Bert fun down below.
reading that back it looks terribly dodgy!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Hahaha
I had too many poo pictures here. I'm at work, so I'm not letting Bert back into my life again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I miss you, AB
like the desert miss the rain
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I love that song
brings me good memories, although a bit sad. Don't spoil it adding Bert poo into it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

and I miss poo, yeah
like a desert miss the rain

I hate M People
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Mmmm...
you hate a lot of people. That's not healthy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I don't hate anyone you stupid spanish bitch

(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:16, Reply)

You're contradicting yourself
that's not healthy either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:18, Reply)

I was only messing, abs
you're alright
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Don't you hate yourself?


You really should, you know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:21, Reply)

not enough to start taking drugs and ruining any chance I have of seeing my daughter, no

(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:22, Reply)

You're quite the model 'family man'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I absolutely bloody am
I'm an outstanding father, my daughter is great and very happy.

I'm probably the best person who has ever been on Off Topic
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:24, Reply)

You're probably the best person who has ever been on
top of his underage sister.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:25, Reply)

This is boring now.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:27, Reply)

I wanted to say that too
I wonder how long it's going to take before we can have a whole thread without the words sister/sex/underage on the replies.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:28, Reply)

What the world needs now
is a lunch thread.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:28, Reply)

CHICKEN BALTI SOUP

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Go for it
and add a bbc link to it! And make clear that those words are forbidden.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:30, Reply)

compliment!
Cheers monty!
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:31, Reply)

ah it's sweet, he has replied to that and you can't see it. He is being quite dull to be honest.
I think he might actually have had a bertdown.

edit - of course you can! it's a new ID.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I'm going to give him a try, then
but another poo picture, and I'm done with him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:13, Reply)

that's him, there!!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I just unignored him
I hope it's for good.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I find the term bertdown offensive
could you change it to a bert-up?
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:15, Reply)

no bert-up is what you did to your sister and daughter you Gary Glitter wannabe

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:17, Reply)

you seem to be fixated on incestual paedo sex
I'm not sure you should be working around children
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:17, Reply)

I'm not sure you should be around anyone, ever.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:20, Reply)

coming from somebody whose face resembles a bearded testicle, I'll take that as a compliment

(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Coming from a jug-eared spastic from Dorking
I'll take that as hilarious self-delusion.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:24, Reply)

whoa, there's no need for language like that
especially when you're a 40 year old tramp who's shagging a cerebral palsy girl half your age
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:30, Reply)

You can play with Monty, if you want
but you cannot mention his girlfriend if she's not here to defend herself. That's the actitud of a coward.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:36, Reply)

It's a brave man that takes the piss out of lusty actually.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Lusty is a very nice girl
But I can imagine her fighting him! That's why I think he should wait for her to be here to say things like the ones he said.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Unfortunately I am not privy to any images of you,
especially since the police did such a good job of closing those nonce sites down.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:27, Reply)

"I'm just looking for pictures of bert officer"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Four day week Woo!
What are you up to next weekend hon?
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:59, Reply)

This weekend coming
I'm going to move to Redhill! Yeah! We'll have a room ready for you as soon as possible, so you can visit :)

Next weekend I'm going to Canterbury and plan to visit BOAT man and his girlfriend. They even invited us for lunch at theirs!

What about you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I'm off to DG's and Tourettes for music and mayhem : )
Say hello to Boatman for me.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Nice
Hello and hugs from me to them, please.

He's very happy these days, I had never seen him like this! You wouldn't recognize him :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I'm glad he's settled at last.
I will try to get down to you as soon as I can.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Good
We should be doing a house warming party in less than 2 months. We hope to see you there!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Try and give me the date as soon as possible and then I can book a cheap train journey, if I can make it.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

OK
I'll talk with Mark and decide a day before Thursday, ok?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Okey dokey!
I am free all the weekdends of June though so it shouldn't be a problem.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Great
I think we don't have anything planned after your party, so June sounds good.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:17, Reply)

We have just been told we finish at 4pm on Thursday.
Which is nice.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:08, Reply)

That's good
I'm planning to finish at 4pm too, but then, I start at 7.30am, so 4pm means my full 8h (plus 30min for lunch)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:09, Reply)

You lucky cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I know.
Our bosses are nearly as lazy as we are.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Are there any jobs going?
Sounds like my kind of place.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:48, Reply)

You have the right moxy mate.
You get to be rude to people and call them liars!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:15, Reply)

aw lucky
I had one of those last week.
But only because I was puking my face off on friday morning.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Too much gin?
Or were you properly sick?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I don't drink gin.
I felt sick earlier on thursday evening and I woke up on friday and puked my guts out.
It was horrible.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Nasty
Was it something you eat?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:24, Reply)

not sure, I did have a fair bit of wine, and my friend that was having wine with me got sick as well
but she got sick that night and I got sick the next morning

I didn't feel sick at all and didn't feel anywhere near drunk enough to be sick, so I'm thinking it was one particular bottle we had.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Could be
If it's cheap wine it might take the whole night to make you feel ill and it gives you an awful hangover too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I'm not sure what's considered cheap. It smelled horrible but tasted pretty good.
I didn't really feel like I had a hangover, just felt ill. Cold even though it was warm out and sleepy.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:43, Reply)

There is no such thing as too much gin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:20, Reply)

i reckon you're the sort to drink yourself sober
after years of trying i'm still unable to do this
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Always seems like plan, doesn't really work

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Three day week for me
Taking the kids to Drayton Manor on Thursday for birthday fun at Thomas Land.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I killed my car at the weekend.
It was just making a 'tick-tick-tick' noise when I turned the key. After flapping my arms, runnning in circles and whining 'Car broken! Makeitwork! Makeitwork!' at my better half she called the car fixy people and they put a new battery in. I should point out that before the flapping and whining I did actually 'pop the hood' in a display of manly optimism. I managed to check the windscreen washer levels before admitting defeat.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Hahaha
I'm not laughing at your loss, but I can imagine you running around, flapping your arms and, sorry, it's funny.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:11, Reply)

I just bought a new Mazda 3 in blue, it's shiny and awesome!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Aren't Mazdas a girl's car?

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:13, Reply)

No! It's a focus underneath. anyway my current car is verging on purple so it's a step up either way

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Mazda 3s are awesome
I agree.

But mine is dark green, like a Gordon's Gin bottle.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:37, Reply)

You made your woman fix your car?
Bad manning, here.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Yep, I'm all kinds of pathetic..
..when it comes to cars. I make up for it in other ways if you know what I mean. (I don't know what I mean)
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:38, Reply)

I killed my step sister, but that was only to stop her telling everyone I'd fucked her when she was underage

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Fuck off Bert
Obvious reply is obvious
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

'ello guvnor, 'ow's the Samatha Janus 'oldin out after a weekend wiv Disaster

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Hahaha, fine thanks mate
Had a great laugh with Disaster, shame about the result but no other complaints. How are you keeping?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Good, getting some work donw today which is good, so much to do as off on hols on saturday
At least you're not a Bolton supporter
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Yes. That's true. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Where are the hols taking you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Majorca, North coast adults only spa.
Might as well enjoy the lack of kids for the last time in my life!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Good man
That's exactly what I'd do if a) Ms Foxtrot would ever consider the possibility of letting me knock her up and b) there weren't EU sanctions against me procreating
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Is it for the dancing?
I thought you were allowed to procreate as long as you didn't dance in front of the kids.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:37, Reply)

When you meet me you'll understand
More like me would be a bad thing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I don't know
You sound pretty sexy. Is that it? Too many sexy man around?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Bless you, darling
If only you were in charge of the EU. Sadly none of those pesky bereaucrats share your wise opinion
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:44, Reply)

you should probably got to prison for that
I'm fairly sure people who shag their relatives go to prison
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Or East Anglia

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Piss off
We don't want him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:21, Reply)

with me you don't get a choice

(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:23, Reply)

There are Gamorrean Guards stationed at all the entrances to Norfolk to repel furriners
Although your pasttimes would deem you worthy of acceptance, people here are NICE. So you wouldn't fit in.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I'm well nice
you floppy-fringed cockspannet
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:29, Reply)

How did you know I'm currently rocking the full Bieber?
*looks around in a blind fucking panic*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:31, Reply)

*gay joke about you shagging justin beiber*
OBVIOUS!
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Motherfucker please
Don't tar me with your pre-pubescent brush
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:34, Reply)

but he looks like a girl, and I think he's overage, isn't he?

(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:34, Reply)

So your sister, what with her bein a bit of council estate rough
Why didn't the elizabeth duke bling that you got her keep her gob shut?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Overage
: an amount exceeding a certain sum or quantity: as
a : a percentage of the amount of sales grossed by a retail store that is paid under the terms of a lease in addition to a fixed rent
b : an amount by which a payment or cost exceeds an expected or budgeted amount
c : See also surplus
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:38, Reply)

I thought he was 15
He looks about 8 anyway. There's "tantalisingly youthful" and then there's Bieber
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:40, Reply)

isn't that the difference between a paedo and a pederast?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:43, Reply)

If you say so, darling
You're the edumacated one here, something like that sounds suspiciously like useful knowledge. If it's unlikely to come up in a pub quiz then it's outside my remit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Pederast
is just an archaic term for an 'omo
( Kroney, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:45, Reply)

no one does, he is doomed to roam the outer lands searching for long lost relatives to procreate with

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:24, Reply)

they're hard to come by
because their hands are so small
(sky nob extreme to the max!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:25, Reply)

i won't even go on safari
in case something kills something else right in front of me.

clients and men don't count, however.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Hahaha
You can go to a "safari" where only clients and men kill each other. You can propose it as a game, with "fake" guns, you know?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:38, Reply)

oh god i would love this
and in the predators' section we have the clients who like to send 137 emails each over a £250 bill.

and in the herbivores' section we have a herd of men...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I don't like this idea
being, as I am, a male and not a lawyer.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:40, Reply)