1) The amount of shit I take for the sake of my child is flabbergasting
2)Some modern art's amazing: 60s poster art, some graffiti - but most is Emperor's New Clothes shite, isn't it Tracey Emin?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:25, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

An unmade bed?
WTF?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I shall piss a mattress,
and stick it on ebay.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I bid ninety-twelve hundred grand.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:39, Reply)

The worst part of Tracey Emin being a noted "artist" isn't even that she's getting paid for something she's clearly no good at
It's that her face gets on telly and in newspapers and magazines.

Her face is horrible.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

she started off making quilts

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:32, Reply)

She violates my rule about celebrities (a loose term which I will expand to include anyone who makes a magazine cover that might cross my eyeline)
Basically, if they're too minging to allow my lunch and stomach to remain on good terms, they shouldn't be allowed to be famous.

See also; Natalie Cassidy, Beth Ditto.

Morning darling.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:37, Reply)

morning
although I should really be snubbing you for below comment
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Natalie Cassidy looks like she has been hit in the face by a spade.
Unfortunately, in profile, I look a bit like her.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I'm willing to bet that's not true
She really did get the most incerdibly raw deal genetically, not only is she fuck-ugly but she has an awful figure, even with implants.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I find it amusing
that she lost a ton of weight, brought out an exercise DVD and then promptly got back on the pie bus.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:50, Reply)

It's very hard to imagine who would buy an exercise DVD with her in it
Who the fuck actually wants to look like that? Or look at that?

When she was on Strictly she enraged me by claiming, when her partner was very tactfully trying to explain why they weren't doing as many lifts as the other couples, that she was "a size 12 girl". So not only is she minging, she can't read clothing labels either.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Vanessa Feltz claims to be a size 12 too
I have a size 12 waist and hips, but I guarantee I would look like the comedy heiffer if I tried to dance on that programme.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:57, Reply)

A size 12 what?

( Kroney, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:03, Reply)

This is meant entirely seriously
It's harder for the better-endowed woman to do Ballroom because of balance issues. True story.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I should give it a try, then
I'm almost like a boy :(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Shut up, you are not
You're much prettier than a boy and you're hardly flat-chested
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:05, Reply)

It depends on the boy
and I'm flat chested. My sister and I always say, we got the body from our mother from waist down and from our father from waist up.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Don't make me compliment you in a public forum again.
I'll do it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

OK, that's now my excuse for bad dancing
instead of the 'I'm a clumsy, graceless clod' excuse
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:05, Reply)

For my hen night activity I hired a dance teacher to teach a bunch of giggly women a three-minute routine to pop songs
Of about 15 women (ages ranging from 13 to 60) I was the absolute worst dancer. And, as the 'hen', I was stuck right at the front so I couldn't hide.

Arthritic limbs aside, I have zero co-ordination and kept forgetting what bit came next.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

You're welcome
It worked for me for a while too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

You haven't seen me in profile
I have no cheekbones, so my face just kind of goes straight up and down, with a beak in the middle. That's why any pictures I will willingly pass around are taken face-on, preferably with a massive teeth-baring grin. You learn to work with what you have.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)

On this principle I should insist on only being photographed stood directly behind Ms Foxtrot

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I think we would all appreciate this
Can I suggest you also crouch down a bit?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Won't take much
She's only an inch shorter than me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Cracking knockers, though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I was just about to say this
Also, in response to DF's comment: pot, kettle, kettle, pot.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I'm not famous though, am I
I'm blaming the rules I suggest above for this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I'm sorry, but you are VERY famous
Any time your name is mentioned, people say 'Isn't that the bumder that was on telly?'
See? Fame.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Yes. Fame. I'm going to live forever. I'm going to learn how to fly.
How often has this happened? Would it be just the once, with Mr B3th, as you mentioned yesterday?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:47, Reply)

There was a suggestion I name a guinea pig after you
that would be true fame
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:54, Reply)

That's so random it just might be true
Whose suggestion was this?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:56, Reply)

LiT
it's under the picture of the pig I posted yesterday on fb
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

So I see
GO ON GO ON GO ON
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

no!
although I did consider naming them after sci fi bad guys, so if I did, I could pretend it wasn't you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Vader and Maul?
the two darths
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

We don't speak of cousin Maul and his penis extension issues in our family

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I recommend Biff and Gaius
They fulfil your criteria and yet are quite cute
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

gaius from BSG
Biff from BTTF?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Yes and yes
Take three points
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Best depiction of her
is the little cartoons in Private Eye
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Emin was on HIGNFY one week
I've never seen anyone so fucking smug, as you would be if you'd hopped on the "Saatchi is a gullible cunt" gravy-train.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I hate that stupid bitch so much

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Yes, I agree. But.
I am ashamed to say that I probably would.

Edit: I'd fall into a pit of misery and self-loathing afterwards, naturally.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Gullible cunt, yes. So rich he doesn't give a shit? Also yes.
What a cunt.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Cunt squared
the worst kind
( Kroney, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:36, Reply)