That can give you
mouth cancer, did you know?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:04, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Is that what you tell your husband?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Everything that goes in my mouth
has to be washed before hand. The rules are the rules.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:06, Reply)

That must be a passion killer

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Not much more than putting a condom on
but usually the wash comes before the foreplay, so no worries.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

How does one wash urine?

(TheColonel, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:07, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

He uses a sieve

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Bleurgh?
You put urine in your mouth? You're depraved!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

You DON'T?!
You are deprived!
(TheColonel, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

There's this Asian theory
that drinking your first urine of the day, first thing in the morning, is good for you. Until I see some scientific evidence, no urine is touching my lips.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:15, Reply)

there's no possible way it can be good for you
however, it's also extremely unlikely it's bad for you unless it's the only thing you drink. I suppose you are upping the processing load on your kidneys a touch, but otherwise..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

That's all the evidence I need
No piss in my mouth, then.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Mine is often the colour of Wotsits first thing.
I like Wotsits.
(TheColonel, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

as a doctor
I'm contractually obliged to tell you that's a bad thing. However, as a medium-to-heavy wine drinker, I'm here to tell you that it's fine and normal. Well, as long as we don't need our kidneys 30 years down the line.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Surely a pint or two of water before bed will sort that out.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Yes, I know, and it does.
I'm merely making the colonel feel better.

In any event, it doesn't help your kidneys much.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Just wash the wine down with vodka or gin
That looks like water
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Mine smells of roast chicken flavour crisps if I've been caning it the night before.
I suspect this is a warning of my imminent demise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

You are clucked for sure

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I'm afraid this is because
whilst you are in the post-cane unconsiciousness, someone is shoving roast chicken crisps under your foreskin. It's a common problem.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

A fowl practice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Stop beak-ering.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I'm only egging you on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Feather last time, stop it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I'm being a cock
One poultry joke was what started it all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

t-hen just stop it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

OK chick

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

You're pushing your c-luck

(TheColonel, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I see.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:31, Reply)

As a person who knows nothing about medicine
but it's used to sort herself out, I recommend you check your symptons on the internet and automedicate.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

it's already sterile
unless you are very unwell.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Phew!

(TheColonel, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:13, Reply)

It's not sterile once it's been down your urethra

(Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

it is pretty sterile
unless you've got some kind of urethral infection.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:25, Reply)

there's more bacteria in a yakult*
than on the worst unwashed tramp's balls

*I'm speculating. Whilst I'd love it if there was, I doubt there is a publised study on this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:13, Reply)

The bacteria in yakult
is, in theory, good for you. The one on the tramp's balls... I'm not sure... Why don't you try and tell me a week later if you felt unwell?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

My reasons for not wanting a tramp's balls in my mouth
are nothing to do with lack of cleanliness, my dear.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Well
I'm not going to be the first one to try. As we have already made clear, I'm a hypocondriac and would be trying to see my doctor 10 times a day to make sure I'm ok.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Oh, man, though
imagine how fast you'd get an appointment! "hello, yes, this is Aber again, yes, I need to see the doctor, I've accidentally sucked off an unwashed tramp and I feel unwell"

I mean, probably not worth it, but you'd definitely get seen that day.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Ey, you're onto something there!
I should use it everytime I NEED to see a doctor, even if it's not true. They might get suspicious after a few times, but I'm sure I can use it for at least a whole week. That's 6 to 60 appointments, assuming they open on Saturday! Result!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

60 appointments is a whole load of happy tramps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I said
that I'd use it even if it's not true. But then, I like to make people happy...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

What about bread?
EDIT:

This sounds like a Seinfield quote now

*bass guitars*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

He's doing
a "gig thingy" in London. Shall I get you tickets?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I'm washing my hair

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:39, Reply)