i woke up and literally jumped out of bed because it was 9.30am and i was an hour late for work
then realised i had been dreaming and it was only 6.30am.

and i was seriously seriously hungover. so i staggered to the fridge, flashed my pants to the flat opposite (what the fuck were they doing up at 6.30am?), glugged down 2 bottles of evian.

spent the next 2 hours lying in bed trying not to get up to go to the bathroom following 2 bottles of evian.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:51, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Nicely done
At least you had pants on
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:52, Reply)

they weren't even good pants
they were a "giant mummy pants" horror.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:53, Reply)

*deflates*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:54, Reply)

i wasn't actually wearing them
they were on the drying rack and i realised that they-

you know what, let's draw a veil over this one!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

A sticky, off-white veil of shame

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)

wow
that's a graphic spunkular description!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Like Cheryl Cole's wedding dress

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Or Bert's net curtains

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I've gotten into the habit of smoking outside in my pants and top in the middle of the night.
Which is okay, since there's no one around to blind.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:52, Reply)

I've showed my penis to the crowds heading for Broadway Market a number of times.
After ten fucking years I still forget that I live on the ground floor on the main route from Hackney Road to the now-cool 'destination' of Broadway Market.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

i always walk around naked, if you don't wanna see it, don't look in my windows

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I thought the restraining order (and restraining pants) had sorted that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:58, Reply)

I like to think my prodigious endowment
is one of the main 'draws' of the locality.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Magnifying windows innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Is that like a prescription windscreen?
/BillyConnollyLOLs
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)

'Billy Connolly' and 'LOLs' have no place in the same sentence.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Wrong.
He was funny. 25 years ago.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)

once

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)

JOJOBA!!!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)

I'm the only one with a room on the main level of the house, I have to check before walking out of my room naked
unless I'm drunk, then I really don't care
as long as your hands are covering your boobs it's okay, right?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Depends, how neat is your minge?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)

The BeeGees' less successful follow-up single
/Monty
( Kroney, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)

hahahahahah proper officelol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:05, Reply)

hahahaha!
click
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:05, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Outstanding

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)

*applauds wildly*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

wait wait wait
when I say NAKED I mean just wearing pants

not naked naked
what sort of heathen do you take me for?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)

A naked one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)

not that naked gawd

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Shoddy work K

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)

*cancels flight tickets*

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)

free range muff

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)

That's alright
At least half my street have seen my morning bongle by now.
( Kroney, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:55, Reply)

hahahaha!
BONGLE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Onomatopoeia!

( Kroney, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)

BONGLE?
WTF??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:55, Reply)

What?

( Kroney, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Sounds like a tumour

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)

A chap at school was fed up with the cleaner coming in and waking him up
So one day he stood naked in front of the door and "prepared" himself, she opened the door screamed and ran away never to disturb his sleep again.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

scholl?
did he show them his feet?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)

old joke is old and now irrelevant due to ninjaring

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 May 2011, 15:58, Reply)

damn you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)

I stopped peeking through my curtains
after I realised that I had been beaten to it.

Poor postman.
( Kroney, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)

We stopping beating through your curtains
when you started peeking
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)