Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Ha HaThe football team you support is worse than the football team I support.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:28, Reply)
This is trueBut at least I don't have to put up with the entire nation telling our manager what's obviously wrong with our team. Because no-one outside of Nottingham gives a shit.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:30, Reply)
But your manager would probably notice the glaringly obvious lack of a central defender a decent midfielder and a striker(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:32, Reply)
You'd hope soOur manager prefers to whinge about not being given a blank cheque to buy whoever he wants, and has staffed the club with six strikers who have all proven themselves incapable of breaking into double figures in a season.
You do have a world-class striker, he just happens to be a world-class cripple as well
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:34, Reply)
I'm fine with thatThere is no more interesting football to be had until August anyway
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:31, Reply)
Some teams are able to get to the latter stages of the Champions League on a regular basis, just sayin(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:37,
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We'd all like to support Barcelona mateOnly Aber is lucky enough to have been born out there
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:38, Reply)
Best of luck in the lower leagues, poor Brian he'll be turning an awful lot in his grave for some time to come(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:43,
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I tried above but it didn't work : (I've lost my touch.
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girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:31,
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If the poor fellow supported Luton.He would have given up hope long ago, and avoided these crushing disapointments.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:32,
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See you at Ashton Gate next season.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:31,
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You know what mate, if it's on a Saturday I'll try to convince the missus to go visit her sisterand you, me and Bob can make a day of the footy
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:36, Reply)
I'll have you know that fans of Bristol City are experts at throwing patio furniture at the windows of pubs and bars.The Amici wine-bar in Nottingham is just one of many examples.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:42,
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I might bring my own furniture with meWe've got some garden chairs we need getting rid of
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:45, Reply)
You should.There is (probably) a specialist council department responsible for fishing it out of Bristol Docks after some sort of skirmish.
So, how gutted are you about last nights result?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:48,
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Eh... I was more gutted about the 0-0, writing was on the wallI knew it wasn't going to be our day when McGoldrick hit the bar. Three clear penalty shouts ignored in two games tells its own story.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:50, Reply)
It does, you're wearing rose tinted glasses.A poor workman blames his tools, and a poor team blames the ref. Unless you're arsenal, in which case Barca had an unfair advatange by fielding a twelfth player wearing a black uniform.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:53, Reply)
Oh absolutely, we should have taken our chances better in both games, we were the better team but didn't make it countI meant to intimate that we didn't get the rub of the green. Which is why I didn't mention the elbow to the face for which Tate somehow escaped even a booking.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:57, Reply)
If it makes you feel any better (and it won't) Swansea were the best team to visit Ashton Gate last seasonI say 'last season' as your season is over now. OVER I TELLS YA!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:54,
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It doesn'tMy thoughts now turn to the vultures circling over McGugan, Cohen and Camp
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:58, Reply)
Best keeper in the division, including Robert GreenBut it is a shame he's not called Thunderhammer
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)
I have all the respect in the world for David Jamesbut Campo is a better keeper
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:06, Reply)
So good in fact that he has elected to play for Northern Ireland, rather than challenge for a spot with England.That says 'winner' to me alright.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:08,
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This is a good pointAs is Earnie. As is Tudgay. As is our fucking manager.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)
That was daft of him, yeahBut in all fairness, Joe Hart is undoubtedly the better keeper and three years younger. I'm glad he chose to be a Paddy, means he won't be so keen to leave and play in the Prem. I think he likes being a big fish in a little pond to be honest.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)
You will enjoy the abuseCause you've got nothing to lose
I swear I'll fist fuck your brain
Until I'm smiling again
(Everybody hates you)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:37,
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I'm familiar with the songand I commend you for finding the perfect lyrics to describe our relationship.
Morning.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:39, Reply)
Nope - just "morning"Something seismically impressive will need to happen to make it good.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:48, Reply)
I've had those throughThey're not what they once were. Crinkly is the best word to describe them.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:51,
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Pfft!I'm going to go and do the wages and pay myself. That'll cheer me up.
*buggers off*
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girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:56,
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INTERNET VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:58,
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I'm sorry BGB that's fucking hilarious.I wish it were not so.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:54,
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Did Len has fun at her nan/grans birthday over the weekend?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:46,
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She snorted a gram of sherbert, necked seven fruit polosand then spent 3 hours cutting together the first twelve seconds of "Incy Wincy Spider"
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:49, Reply)
I thought I could see someone watching from outside.You should have knocked on the door, Al, you'd have been welcome - once you'd washed your hands.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:52,
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hahahahaha(I've not had a fruit Polo is years, can you still get them?)
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:55,
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She most certainly did.Nice for her to have a garden to play in, for a change. Parks are all good and well, but you have to share them with the lower orders and frankly that really will not do.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:53,
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It went perfectly. I am a happy boy.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:59,
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Until next time, when your ex decides she is a Benny on the loose.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:00,
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And I you, fair young Lampers.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:45,
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Today has started very, very well.Two Saturdays from now I have my kid up until the afternoon. From there I shall go to my brother's house and from there to yonder Aylesbury, where I shall see WILKO JOHNSON, only supporting FUCKING HAWKWIND.
And it's a bank holiday. And I've got some mushrooms stowed away. AND my old pal Kris Needs is DJing there.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:51,
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I can't believe you're all not as excited as me.What's wrong with you people?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:59,
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Are you looking forward to it enough that you keep thinking, 'hurry up sundown'(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:02,
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Well you enjoy your wastelands of sleep (
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:06,
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If we're going to do song title puns with a band who've been going 41 years we could be here a while.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:09,
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Aylesbury has a special kind of mong, due to its isolated position.You can see them lurching down the streets, about 7ft tall and with pin heads. Take a camera, they are quite friendly.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:59,
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My brother's obsessed with 'The Winslow Dwarf'and has made me go there looking for this mythical beast more than once. Last time he saw him he'd acquired a 'downsy looking rough bird'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:01,
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I went to school with a girl called Dawn WinslowShe was very short. Does this help at all?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:02,
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I am ashamed my comment didn't at least get a LTI(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:11,
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*resolves to try harder*I'm on pun alert today - WARNING
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:13,
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Open your heart AA, we're here to rally round(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:04,
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Is it true what Al says about your munchy box??There's plenty more munchy boxes out there AA, don't be discouraged, Bella just wasn't the right munchy box for you.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:11,
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Don't get salad in your next messy kebab(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:18,
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Hmm, you make a good pointNot had a kebab in absolutely ages, that'll have to be rectified eventually.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:19,
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Nah, I meant about having a shit result.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:16,
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Morning missHow are tricks this fine day?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:10,
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Holiday tomorrow : )Off to Tenerife till next Tuesday.
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girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:11,
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Woop!Where in Tenerife? Do you have your armour plated scarf?
Got a text this morning. The woman's husband is comforted by still having a shoulder to cry on
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:12,
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I'm staying with my sis. I think it's called Adeje.Oof! crap topical jokes already?
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girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:14,
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There is a new shampoo available in Tenerife.It's called 'shoulders'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:15,
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I think I've been through thereThat is within maniac distance of Los Christianos so watch out
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:17,
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I won't beheading there in a hurry.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:18,
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It's a weight off my shoulders to know that.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:19,
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Her family are being charged an excess to bring her remains back to the UKThis is what happens when you don't book ahead
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:28,
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Ah well, there's always next year and other clichesI tuned in for the last ten minutes and saw you hit the post, hit an air ball and concede a late cracker ("What a finish that was!!!!!!!!" - Michael Owen, Twitter)
Still, I've just found out my signed Lance Henriksen biography has been shipped from America. So, every cloud and all that.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:09,
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It must have felt like a Millenium for it to come(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:10,
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They did say it would arrive at an earlier datebut I always thought that was a bit of a Hard Target
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:12,
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He's got so used to not having it, when it finally arrives it will feel a little Alien.(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Careful! Don't get him too excitedHe may bash the Bishop
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:13,
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I always thought a screenshot of Bishop from the end of Aliens....would be great for those 'Got Milk?' adverts
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:14,
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I can't understand why I don't see more cocks drawn on those adverts(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:17,
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I've just noticed I've got yoghurt on my topThat's so annoying I might Scream (3)
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Only girls wear topsMen wear shirts, jackets, jumpers, t-shirts etc
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
FineI've got yoghurt on my v-neck jumper. You bent fashionista twat.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Why not just support someone good and be done with it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:16,
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You see, this is why no-one likes youAnd when I say "no-one", I obviously mean "most people but definitely not Monty"
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)
It's too early for so many double negativesI'm just going to assume that everyone loves me
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:19,
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I actually hold Nakers in the very highest estem.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:25,
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No, sorry, it's no good, I can't keep a straight face.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:25,
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I've just realised that we've conjured over 100 replies to a thread that just says "FUCK"We really can conjure bullshit conversation from nothing.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:20, Reply)
First thread of the morning inniteveryone has to sniff each others butts and establish pack hierarchy.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
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