New thread
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-13417930
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:16, 109 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

There's at least two children in that family
that will be changing their names as soon as they're legally able.

Why are people such fuckwits?
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

this is what happens
when you let people breed without the necessary controls.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 17 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

If not quite to the extent of hatred
I really, strongly, dislike children. Yet even I wouldn't give them a name that's going to sentence them to an early life full of ridicule and playground bullying.

Parents are supposed to want to reduce the amount of hardship their children experience, not fucking add to it. Makes me cross.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

I just gave blood
It took a long time and now I feel a bit odd.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Have a pint, you'll get instantly hammered.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

did they give you a biscuit?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

I had two packs
One bourbons, one custard creams. I wanted more, but didn't want to appear greedy.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

you ate two packets of biscuits?
you fat cunt
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:32, Reply)

That just takes the biscuit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:33, Reply)

crumbs that was poor
you should go a wafer now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Join my Club

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

You're becoming a bour(bon)

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

And you used to be Nice

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

You're on a Rocky road here

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

That was hard to digest-ive

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

i had that one
but deleted it. dammit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

You're just going to have to Breakaway to get another one then

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Enough of this kit-kat.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Whoa whoa whoa, someone's got a short Fuse today!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Ginger* snaps innit.
*Not ginger.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Erm..ah...fuck it, I've got nothing now.
I've Fudged this all up!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Yep
Six biscuits in total.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

You're supposed to give your own

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir,
So that every mouth can be fed.
Poor me, the Israel 'Like'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Hey Chompy
I watched the rest of the Stewart Lee thing. It picked up a surprising amount, so I'm wondering why he started on ten minutes of poor quality stuff
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

He sets up a lot, and reffers back to stuff, it's just his style.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

"visible otters"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

That was rather funny
as was the phonecall with his friend in the country.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

His description of what was on in the Corn Exchange made me lol as well.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I like Stewart Lee, I find him very funny in a cynical, despondent
Older brother type way.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

there is no question here
people don't even try any more.

going to pick up some old family prints that i've had copied for a victorian photoframe thing at lunchtime. this could mean exploring the new sainsburys fresh kitchen down on fleet street. anyone been to one of these things before?

also the photos make me feel v weird. i'm lucky because my grandparents on both sides kept everything, so i have lots of postcards from ww1 and ww2 as well as the pics. the frustrating thing is that i have no idea who many of these people are and no way of ever knowing. and pictures of, for example, my grandma on the beach when she was much younger than i am now are kind of haunting.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Reads.
'Has some photos to collect, might get lunch'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Pretty much
She'll probably get her back tits polished too.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

They do need to sparkle more

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

tldr

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

but the photos are cool
just because the only family pictures you have are of you and your sister having a threesome with your cousin. who is also your aunt. and her own father.

fucking west-country.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Needs MOAR ZIDER

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

that's still circulating around jeff's circulatory system

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

That's what things do in a circulatory system after all

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)

*golf clap*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

my family has nothing like that, I'd love to see things like that
I found some old correspondence in the attic between the man that lived in the house before my parents and some bloke in Germany that ripped him off.
A few years ago my dad bought a load of post cards involving the town we live in, they include things like "Staying in a nice hotel, had chicken and coffee for dinner, love you"
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:15, Reply)

We should be more concerned about the upward trend of inflation rates and the resultant action which the Bank of England will take
Of course this being b3ta fat porkers are more concerned by lunch plans and whether they can get away with a fifth day without showering or changing their pants
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

It'll be interest rates, not really much else to say about it.
And that'll bring the housing market into the downward drive it shoudl have experienced two years ago.

Right, back to lunch.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I'm more concerned about the impact on the somewhat shaky economic growth
Housing in the South East should remain fine really.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

it better had do
i'm living in my retirement plan
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

YOU NEED TO BE PAYING MORE TAX TO FUND SOMALIAN TRIBES LIVING IN ACTON

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

argh
i had a case in uxbridge where 17 somalian refugees were living in a 3 bed house. they started praying at 4am and when my client asked them to keep it down, the father said: "children must pray"

the children didn't learn anything godly. they ripped up the fenceposts, sharpened the points into spears, and chucked them at my clients in their garden. actually it was hard not to laugh at that part.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)

SPEARCHUCKERS

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Rory, you appear to be on the wrong website here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

he'll be rolling around on the floor
bleeding clotted blackberries from his gash and screaming about how people don't take his politics seriously in a minute.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

*borks*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I should fucking hope so too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Yeah, I should leave really
*one lucky day*
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

It's not fine at the moment, it's massivley overpriced.
The latest figures on cash purchases show this. Something like 60% of new homes are unmortgaged. That means another crash is coming.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Banks are willing to lend, and prices are forecast to continue their trend downwards until 2015

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Banks are willing to lend to people with large savings.
Given that this crash happened to a generation that was used to lots of readily available credit, you'll find there aren't actually all that many people on average incomes with tens of thousands of pounds in the bank.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)

If by the average age of 38 as first purchase, if you haven't mustered 20k as a deposit you should shoot yourself

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:55, Reply)

This crash was caused for precisely this reason.
lots and lots of credit debt, no savings to pay it off.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:56, Reply)

The kids should be saving then
Also far more individuals are after their own homes see Broken Briton marriage breakdowns and breakdown of the family life in general
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:58, Reply)

They are with large deposits,
large deposits require the sort of disposable income that inflation is eating into.
Hopefully there'll be a massive crash soon while I'm still renting.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Highly doubtful, see housing shortage in South East

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:55, Reply)

My parents trot out this reasoning each time the subject comes up.
Prices of houses have only an incidental relationship to how many houses are on the market.

House prices oscillate due to the amount of money available to buyers, which then has a knock-on effect to availability, not the other way around.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Your parents are right and you should shut your face

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:00, Reply)

This time next year, old boy.
Same place, bring some apologies.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:01, Reply)

I've heard the same for the past ten years, the South East will always do alright
*trigger finger*
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Not in a general housing market crash it won't be.

( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:05, Reply)

True, but there's already been a significant correction, and during the crash of the 90's I don't remember them giving houses away in London, not that the first time buyer could have afforded the interest rates of he time

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:10, Reply)

The nineties was a slightly different scenario
My parents bought a house in 1983 for around 20k. Before the credit crunch it was worth 250k. In those last twenty years, there wasn't suddenly ten times more people wanting to buy that house. What happened was steady devaluation of the pound, which led to more money being available in loans, which led to house prices going up.

Then the whole buy to let thing took off and pushed the relative value up higher. There are several reasons why buy to let is going to fail and three of them are lack of credit, increasing interest rates and Capital Gains Tax.

The lack of credit is going to drive the drop in relative house prices, the South East isn't immune to that. As interest rate rise, as they will have to if they're going to stop inflation more and more people are going to be in the same position as they were three years ago, only this time there won't be the available bail-out money because interest is already at rock bottom.

The only way house prices aren't going to fall is if they allow inflation to occur.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

House prices across the rest of the UK have been falling
London is it's own special micro climate, because the people that work in the city earn stupid money and so can afford stupid prices for shitty little flats just so they are close to a tube line.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

there will always be some areas which are less affected
central london is one of those. eg my flat is still worth about £150k more than i paid for it about 5 years ago - this is partly because we got a good deal at the time, but mostly because of the location and type of block, meaning that there are a lot of foreign investors/purchasers/governments wanting to buy them. whereas my grandma's house, up in halifax, dropped from about £110k to £80k over the same period.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I don't believe you can actually stop the boom and bust cycle.
They certainly can't stop this one. They've poured money into it for years and have only managed to get some very slight growth going on at a 0.5% interest rate. They cannot keep that interest rate going without Wiemar levels of inflation.

There's going to be a depression and the sooner they get on with it, the sooner it'll be over.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Also, viz housing in the South East
around here people have to mortgage themselves up to the hilt in order to afford somewhere. House prices have little to do with value of property and everything to do with availability of loans.

No loans = price crash. It's as true in the South East as it is anywhere else.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Housing shortages are most acute in the South East, there's also a significant level of foreign investment still

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Doesn't make any difference if all those people wanting to buy
can't secure the size of a mortgage they'll need to buy that 180 thousand pound one bedroom flat "starter property" they want. And they can't.

So prices will come down.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:54, Reply)

There's always a 90k studio in Romford
Romfords lovely
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Don't joke
I've even been looking in Hillingdon.
( Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Come out to Slough.
Much cheaper.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I only know Northwood there, which is quite pricey. Steer clear of Watford, that is all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Life lesson right here folks!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Hahahaha
watford is shitty, even compared to Luton.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:03, Reply)

It's nothing like as bad as Luton.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I beg to differ.
We can discuss this at Blousie's, or talk about something more interesting.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Can I put in a vote for something more interesting.
I'll bring my waterproof trousers if you like?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Whoah there!
Not that interesting.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Oh sorry.
I'm sure Noel can talk about walking boots, I'll nod and look interested.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

A had a char-grilled aubergine wrap with red onion and chilli
Very odd but quite tasty
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

i am more concerned about my lunch right this very minute, i could eat a monkey's miscarriage
i generally like to shower/bathe and change my pants twice a day though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

incontinence lolz

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Rusty garage

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

that was the *worst* mental picture I've had in a while...

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

sorry...
... blame my dad. i grew up hearing that phrase, and thought nothing of it as a small child. until the fateful day i repeated it at school.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Swipe having a shower?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

the whole eating a monkey's miscarriage thing...

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

rachelswipe changing her pants?
I'm guessing a lot of one-handed typing goes on when she posts stuff like that
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

1 hand covering eyes to protect her modesty?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Yep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:54, Reply)

i don't type and change at the same time!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I had tomato and basil soup and a roll
£2.15, take that london people.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

This thread is almost as lazy as mine earlier
*applauds lack of effort*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Gliese 581d may well turn out to be habitable
albeit mostly desert and with twice Earth's gravity.

I imagine house prices will still be quite steep.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:12, Reply)

I saw that, I am constantly amazed at how much information
you can get from something we can barely see with the most powerful telescopes. Or in most cases, can't see at all.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Well, 581g turned out to be noise rather than an actual planet
so it's all pretty tentative still.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

You get many points
for the most random reply I can remember
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Happened to be looking at a link to Science Daily
www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110516080124
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:21, Reply)

ts;dc
(too sciencey; didn't click)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I heard about this earlier.
I was thinking this should be the sort of planet we should send a probe to. It will take a hell of a long time, but I reckon it is doable. If no life is found, then the probe should drop loads of plant seeds and we will terraform the place. Drop the CO2 levels, reduce the greenhouse effect, and rescue Ripley.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

It's 20 light years away
So any probe we send will almost certainly break before it gets there, and even if it didn't any signals it sends back won't reach here for twenty years after it arrives, which will be several hundred years after we've all died of starvation and nuclear war.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

The probe would not need to tell us about it. If we left, say 100 years later, out tech will have improved.
Look at Pioneer and Voyager, still operating and leaving the solar system right now.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

house prices hills
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)