Assumed the train from North Walsham to Norwich would have a fucking toilet
Longest half hour of my life. Although it did at least take my mind off the horror of what I'd just witnessd.

Alt: Everyone knows I love Girls Aloud so it's hardly a secret shame. Being a soppy bugger it'll probably be something from Indestructable by Alisha's Attic. I won't reproduce them here in case I break the internet.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:37, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I just typed a massive long story
about late trains out of waterloo when I worked in the centre. But then I dropped connection and lost all text. Imagine it was immensely funny but slightly self-deprecating.

But the gist is - wait for a quiet station. As soon as the doors open, hose the platform. Finish before they close, train sets off. Job done.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

That's disgusting
and doesn't help if you're a girl.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Shewee FTW

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Yeah
To use it that quick I have to be wearing a skirt and no tights, which here in the land of cold, doesn't happen very often.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

If there is no-one around
I struggle to see why it's in the slightest bit disgusting.

If SWT didn't break the law about not having toilets on journeys over an hour it wouldn't come up, and surely it's infinitely preferable to pissing inside the train?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

It's disgusting
because next morning it'll smell of amonia and rancid urine. And someone else will have to clean it.

If it's the train company breaking the rule, then punish the train company. Pee on the train, for example. Or better, complain to them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Peeing on the train is far more unpleasant for everyone inside
if there is nobody on the platform then peeing outside is definitely the lesser of the two evils.

I once took a shit in the middle of a rugby pitch.

Just for the hell of it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

I know
I don't think he should pee in either place, I think he should complain to SWT.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

he should have pissed in a botttle and sent it to their head office

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

had I got a bottle, I would have used that
but I didn't.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Yes
That'd have been better than peeing on the station.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

because trains have a magic bottle shop at 1am

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

You should have known better
and brought it with you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I assumed it would have a toilet
it's supposed to.

Should I have broght a small folding bicycle too, on the off chance it wasn't a train at all?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

pissing onto public concrete is vile
Only bushes and plants etc are resonable public pissing places.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

the train company own the station too.
The station is outside. Dogs are allowed to piss outside. What's the problem?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:01, Reply)

You're not a dog
are you? You have better sense than that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

yes.
I have the sense and the ability to use facilities when available. If they are unavailable and I have no choice then I have the good sense to improvise. I still fail to see what's particularly disgusting about piss in an open-air enviroment.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

You clearly
haven't walked early on Sunday morning around the streets of central Manchester. The stink is awful until the cleaners go and clean the place.

Why we girls can always manage to hold it a bit longer, or find a pub or McDonald's to pee, but you boys always are desperate and have to pee on the street? I think it's just because it's easy that you do it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Girls drink smaller drinks on average
Blokes drink pints = more to piss
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I have, yes. As with most cities in the UK
There are plenty of smells there worse than piss.

Erm, where on earth do you think I would find a pub or mcdonalds open on a train journey through Berkshire at 1am? even station toilets are shut by then.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:32, Reply)

ON my stag do I had to get out at every staion on the way
and neck a pint before the train left...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

How on earth did you manage that?
Did the train wait for five minutes for you to find a pub each time?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

circle line pubcrawl was similar
urrrgh that was hard work
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

fuck, that nearly killed me.
We took a disposable camera and some of the photos were ... interesting.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

now i want to see them!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

one day, sweetheart.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

We had beer on the train...
and a pint glass/plastic
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Oh fair enough
I thought you had to go and find the station pub and buy one.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

a quite station?
is that like platform 9 and 3/4?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

you saw nothing.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

you know
and i know

and the INTERNET knows
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I saw it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:55, Reply)

EVERYBODY saw it
how the mighty (badger) have fallen...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

because I typed the wrong word?
Empires have fallen for less.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

ah but in the empire of b3ta
words are all you have
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Tell sexface that

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

that would entail speaking to him
and i don't want to get seduced into being the 137th notch on his slippery bedpost
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

You're lucky you have a young assistant to personally spellcheck all your posts before you send them
especially the ones about the filthy things you get up to.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

excuse me
me type real good

my trainee is pretty hot eye candy though
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

tell him
employees love that shit.

As do employment tribunal laywers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

oh god no
he gets growled at about diet cokes and not giving me sufficient background info to check his drafting. so that i can re-draft it all. that is as much as he gets.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)